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Viewing 15 posts - 1,666 through 1,680 (of 2,283 total)
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  • August 3, 2021 at 12:53 am in reply to: End off the Road!! #383999
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear Javier,

    I’m trying to count my blessings, but I have been suppressing and denying all positive feelings. I have learned to feel loneliness, hopelessness and shame. The feeling of failure is there continuously, and I have been struggling with a low to complete lack of self esteem. I want to change this, I want to live again. Please let me know if it’s possible!

    You first need to forgive yourself, Javier. Your self-condemnation is keeping you at the bottom of this dark pit. It’s what led you to attempt suicide.

    We’ve talked about it before. Your life started with pain, you grew up with pain, and none of it was your fault. All the “mistakes” you’ve made later (and which we all make in this or that form) are the result of that original pain. When you blame yourself, you’re blaming that little boy for simply being a child, for having normal needs for love, affection and safety, like every other child. You’re blaming a beautiful, innocent, helpless little child, who just wanted to love and be loved. Can you see that, Javier?

    I am praying that you see and accept that, and start practicing self-compassion and self-forgiveness. Because that’s The Way to new life…

     

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by Tee.
    August 2, 2021 at 1:11 pm in reply to: End off the Road!! #383967
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear Javier,

    As I have hit the lowest possible point in life, and every breath is painful, I’m just waiting for my body to give up on me.

    You’ve survived and are able to communicate, even though you took a dose large enough to put you in a vegetative state. This to me is a sign you’re not meant to die. God doesn’t want you to die. You are such a kind soul. You are asking us to keep helping those in need. As Sarah said, you too could be helping people in need with your unique story and your unique spark.

    I see so much light in you, Javier. Instead of waiting for your body to give up on you, pray for your body to be cleansed as soon as possible from those toxins. Detoxification is possible. Regeneration is possible. New life is possible. Even when we’re at the rock bottom. Please have faith.

    You are needed. And you are loved. That’s the ultimate truth, beyond all the pain you’ve experienced. Please trust it!

     

    August 2, 2021 at 12:14 pm in reply to: Realized my life’s purpose, odd life circumstances? #383961
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear shane,

    you feel your purpose is “to speak about things that happened to me and I struggled with and try to educate new generations about them.”

    For that purpose, you feel you need to travel from city to city? Is that why you keep moving?

    August 2, 2021 at 11:04 am in reply to: End off the Road!! #383949
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear Javier,

    I second everything that Sarah said. You didn’t let us down. You tried to end the pain because you didn’t know how else to stop it. But God didn’t want you to die. He has a different plan for you. He wants you to live. This could be a turning point…

    I am so glad you’re still alive and talking to us. You are a beautiful soul. I really mean it. And I am praying for you to feel a ray of hope, just a tiny ray of hope and relief in your pain. Pray to God to take your burden away, to lighten the cross you are carrying. Pray for just a tiny bit of help… and wait, it will come. I know, help always comes to those who have faith. Have faith, Javier, it will be better.

    I too am praying and rooting for you. You are not alone.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by Tee.
    August 2, 2021 at 4:04 am in reply to: My boyfriend of 10 years left me without saying a word. #383928
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear Karma,

    Please help as what to do to ensure i have a happy life. My parents have stated lookimg for alliance for my marriage. I don’t want my past to haunt me in my future life.

    I understand, that’s why I am trying to help you find out why you don’t love yourself. Because that’s what I see as the biggest obstacle for a happy life.

    In my teens and youth, I also suffered from low self-esteem regarding my physical appearance, and was jealous of girls prettier than me. But my sense of lower self-worth didn’t start in my teens and wasn’t caused by my looks, but started much earlier in my childhood, with my mother criticizing me a lot. That’s how I started believing I am not good enough (which later included “not pretty enough” as well).

    It would be important to figure out what’s the real cause of your low self-esteem. If you would like to tell me a bit more about your childhood, please do. Because that’s where the reason may be, as well as the solution for your current problems. If on the other hand you had a great childhood, with loving and supportive parents and siblings, then the reason is somewhere else.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by Tee.
    • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by Tee.
    August 1, 2021 at 11:14 pm in reply to: My boyfriend of 10 years left me without saying a word. #383924
    Tee
    Participant

    No, he never made me feel infrrior about my looks or appearance .

    That’s good. But you already felt inferior before, and perhaps being with him made you feel a little better about yourself? Like it boosted your self-esteem a little?

    I was happy knowing that i am with a famous guy

    I’ve already asked you this, but did you feel like you’ve won a lottery with him, and that you have to give your best (and accept however he treats you) in order not to lose him?

     

     

    August 1, 2021 at 11:03 pm in reply to: I don’t know what is the goal #383923
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear Emy,

    I already tried and my emotions was dammed up. Then I felt like I couldn’t breath.

    How did you try to be less sensitive? What method did you use?

    I don’t think it would feel like a loss.

    Good, because then there’s a greater chance that you can succeed in reducing your sensitivity, i.e. protecting yourself from unwanted influences.

    August 1, 2021 at 12:45 pm in reply to: My boyfriend of 10 years left me without saying a word. #383914
    Tee
    Participant

    Yes, he was. I was happy knowing that i am with a famous guy

    Maybe you were idolizing him a little? Maybe you thought you were lucky to be with him, perhaps lucky that he chose you?

    How did he treat you – did he make comments about your looks, or say anything that would suggest he feels superior to you?

    August 1, 2021 at 12:30 pm in reply to: My boyfriend of 10 years left me without saying a word. #383912
    Tee
    Participant

    He was decent looking boy who had 17 flings before meeting me.

    So he was popular with girls, wasn’t he? How did that make you feel?

    August 1, 2021 at 12:23 pm in reply to: Really struggling #383911
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear Richard,

    I remember once in my mid-twenties I was really struggling. I called my mom and broke down on the phone. I told her what I was dealing with went all the way back to when I was a kid and I began to tell her some of the stuff my brother would say to me. She said had she know he was saying things like that she would have stopped him. I remember saying on the phone to her “how could you not have known!?!?!”

    Exactly. Didn’t your brother use to tease you in front of your parents too? Or he was careful to do it only when they weren’t around? Do you remember ever complaining to your parents about him, or you thought they would notice it by themselves?

    In any case, that’s pretty severe that they haven’t noticed, and that your mother only found about it when you were in your mid-20s. By then, the damage was already done, and even though your father is very supportive now, there’s still the little boy inside of you, terrified of your brother and feeling totally alone and helpless. You’d need to work on his healing…

    I just would have liked them to have been more cognizant of what I was feeling growing up and possibly have gotten me some professional help.

    Right. They haven’t noticed that something’s going on with you when your grades dropped, you became withdrawn and stayed home most of the time. They should have noticed it, even if you didn’t say anything. Perhaps their excuse is that they had 4 children to take care of, although by the time you were in junior high, your 2 eldest siblings were already adults and required less attention… So I don’t know what the reason was of their negligence. But don’t be afraid to spell it out: they were negligent. It doesn’t mean they were bad parents altogether, but they failed to notice that their son was suffering.

    I have been tempted to tell my dad about the cruel things my brother used to say to me growing up, but part of me feels like it would make him feel like a bad dad.

    Right… it seems you’d rather protect your father from possible pain than protect yourself from pain…. maybe that was the reason why you were reluctant to complain to your parents about your brother’s bullying – because you thought that by telling them you would cause them pain and distress?

     

    August 1, 2021 at 11:37 am in reply to: My boyfriend of 10 years left me without saying a word. #383905
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear Karma,

    I liked myself but i was always concious as i was not very good looking and all my friends were pretty. They has bfs and I never had one. Infact i usee to like a boy in my school days but he liked someone else. I thought that may be I don’t look good enough..

    Right, so your insecurity came from your physical appearance, that’s where you felt “not good enough”. And you say B was a cricket player – was he handsome and popular too? Did girls give him a lot of attention? Was he that kind of guy? And you felt he was “too good for you”, or that you really have to give your best not to lose him?

     

    August 1, 2021 at 11:18 am in reply to: My boyfriend of 10 years left me without saying a word. #383901
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear Karma,

    how about your childhood and youth? Did you feel good enough then? Were you criticized? How did you feel about yourself before you met him?

    August 1, 2021 at 11:07 am in reply to: My boyfriend of 10 years left me without saying a word. #383899
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear Karma,

    I don’t love myself. Especially all the wrong things that B said to me after our breakup, i hate myself.

    His accusations fell on fertile ground, because you already didn’t love yourself to begin with, and then when he told you all those nasty things, e.g. accusing you of destroying his life, you believed it. And now you love yourself even less…

    Sometimes i feel that maybe it was my mistake that we are not together, maybe I didn’t love him that much to make him stay.

    Yes, we usually blame ourselves for not being good enough. We think something like: had we been good enough (loving enough, tolerant enough, understanding enough), our partner wouldn’t have treated us badly, and wouldn’t have left us. That’s false thinking.

    Is this thinking – that you’re not good enough – familiar to you? And when did it start?

     

    August 1, 2021 at 10:40 am in reply to: Really struggling #383896
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear Richard,

    you’re welcome. I am sorry about your brother bullying you so mercilessly. How did you parents react to his bullying, did they try to protect you, i.e. discipline him?

    August 1, 2021 at 10:32 am in reply to: My boyfriend of 10 years left me without saying a word. #383893
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear Karma,

    good you’re surrounded with people who support you and understand you… that’s a very valuable resource.

    i wish i would get someone in my life who will love me.

    There was a reason why you stayed with B for such a long time, tolerating his neglect and lesser treatment, pleading for his love and care. It usually happens when we don’t love and respect ourselves enough. How much do you love yourself?

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Viewing 15 posts - 1,666 through 1,680 (of 2,283 total)
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