Sorry, probably way off base to speak here, but here is my two cents, …

We can choose to care about another person but love isn’t a choice. Love grows from being familiar with someone to spending time together doing things which brings the heart closer. Hugs and kisses brings the heart closer. Showing kindness and caring brings the heart closer. But love doesn’t come from the choice of picking someone out of a line up. So, older couples who stopped kisses and hugs and showing they care can fall out of love. Love needs that closeness.

Love doesn’t mean the person brings only joy and laughter. One has to be happy with oneself before being able to enjoy happiness with a loved one. If you can’t be happy being alone then being with someone will not instantly bring happiness.

Okay, now that I have made myself look foolish, I wish you then best. Better days ahead.

There have been case studies where a person who experienced brain trauma would suddenly not recognized their parents. They would see their parents but say that they are not her real parents. So, the brain is capable of many things. Suddenly lost of emotions for a loved one is not new. Being totally in love one moment then in another have lost all emotional connection in the next moment. For some the trigger is a physical one where the person experiences an injury. For others it could be triggered by a thought which flipped a switch in the brain.

What gives one a life and understanding of one’s life is the persistence of memory. From one moment to the next, one has a personal history in which one finds one’s “purpose”. It gives meaning to who they are and where they are in life. If a small part of this is lost then the world can fall apart.

The possibility to regain one’s prior emotional world could depend on how well one remembers their feelings. Because the spark that cause the feelings can be rekindled thru efforts. However, the mind can decide to retreat and pull away from emotional tangles. So, what does one do in case this happens? Well, how well does one remember and what does one want to happen. I know if this happened to me and I still remember then I want to keep the relationship since it is so hard to make good relationships. But, if the cause was something like dementia then there is no choice. So, if you have the memories then the choice is yours. If you don’t have the memories then there is no choice.

Since I promised to stay out of James thread, I will post a comment about Anita’s post in “Real spirituality”.

Liked, Anita said, “On the other hand, many people shut down when confronted harshly. A softer tone invites curiosity instead of defensiveness. Gentle guidance often builds trust and long-term change, whereas hostility can alienate. People often respond more deeply to kindness than accusation, especially in context of personal growth. For most people, a calmer reflective tone is more likely to reach the heart, build trust, and inspire lasting transformation.”