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Thomas168ParticipantThanks for the story. It is a real chin scratcher. Or a temple tapper with the forefinger. I think it is better to be happy with what one has rather than to wish for the greener side of the hill.
Thomas168ParticipantHello Alessa,
Thanks for the words of wisdom. If one spend a lot of time in self observation then one can learn that there are choices to be made. It is how one responds to life’s challenges and opportunities that make life a happy one or not. Sure, loving someone makes life good and losing that person makes us mourn. But, it is choosing where we decide to dwell that makes it true suffering or just a normal part of life. A person can either drown in their sorrow or mourn and move on. This doesn’t diminish the value of the loss. It just doesn’t control us. I hope all is well with you. And this reflection is only a moment of clarity and understanding.
July 25, 2026 at 5:03 am in reply to: Has Anyone Used RealESALetter.com? Share Your Experience With ESA Documentation #459597Thomas168ParticipantI tried to go to the RealESALetter.com and my antivirus software said it was a dangerous site and prevented my computer from connecting. So, I do not know what to say. Just please be careful while online.
Thomas168ParticipantHello Alessa,
I thought you were replacing an old dishwasher. Not installing a new one. Depending on the model. Does it go into and under the countertop? Plumbing usually means setting up one cold water feed line as the dishwasher has a water heating unit inside it. Do you have copper lines? What size are they? 1/2 inch? I used a pipe cutter. Don’t forget to ream the cut opening for better water flow. Then I use Sharkbite connectors rather than soldering. Then I use Pex plastic water pipes as it is easy to lay out the water lines. Just have to make sure the Pex water lines are held in place. If you need a hard point for connection to washer then you can go back to copper. Or just stay with copper. Then the drain needs a connection. YouTube is fantastic for getting the general idea of what is needed or what to expect. I have put in a small room and full bathroom in the garage. (no permit, no license). Did electrical and plumbing myself. It has been working fine for the past 4 years. I did try to follow building code as much as I know about it. No problems so far.
If you can change a light switch then you can put in a GFCI outlet to protect against ground faults or short circuits. (Not sure about the UK) Toughest part may be to connect the water line to the washer. Do you have access to under the floor? Basement? Crawl space?
Oh, my car is just waiting for the spray paint and the light assembly. Should be done by the weekend.
I hope everything else is going well for you. Sounds like the kid is growing up fast (from the other posts). Take care.
Thomas168ParticipantHello Tom,
So sorry to hear about the miscarriage. It happened to me and my wife. Totally messed us up. But, we tried again and finally had our daughter. I hope everything goes better the next time you try. Rough times Good luck.
Thomas168ParticipantLiked, ..
Wishing you and your boy a successful start of a new big chapter in life! ❤️
Thomas168ParticipantOh, forgot to mention that we require GFCI protection circuits on dishwashers and most major appliances that use water.
Thomas168ParticipantYeah, being human, it isn’t easy to let go of people and things we love.
But, it is the attachment that causes our suffering. Still, it doesn’t mean we don’t mourn the one dear to us.Oh random question for you. Any advice for installing a dishwasher? 🙏
The answer to that is a full manual on how to install a dishwasher. But mainly to shut off the water and electric before install. Also to lay down cardboard to protect the floors. I don’t know how the UK sells their dishwashers. Here in the states, the unit is sold without an electric plug which is sold separately. Most stores require you to buy a new one (instead of reusing the old one) when you request the store to set up the dishwasher (for a fee). Dishwasher needs to be level for proper drainage. Hopefully the hoses have rubber seals which don’t require Teflon tape to prevent water leaks. Otherwise, use Teflon tape. Sorry, not much else. I find the tricky part is with pushing in the dishwasher into place as all the hoses and wiring is still in the way.
Do you have any experience with electrical or plumbing?
Thomas168ParticipantOnce a Zen master held up an exquisite tea cup. He showed a good amount of admiration for it. But, he said, “To me, this cup is already broken. I enjoy using it every day and washing it and looking at it. But when it will fall and shatter on the floor someday, I won’t get upset. I will just say, ‘Of course.’
“The understanding is that everything in life is temporary. People, feelings, and objects don’t last forever. Instead of fearing what you will lose someday or what you love will die, enjoy it fully right now. When it does goes away, you can really accept it peacefully.
Thomas168ParticipantWent to a friends house to play Mah Jong. Afterwards, went out side to the car and saw someone had hit the car in the left rear quarter panel. I expected it was a hit and run. But, there was a police accident report on the windshield. If it were just up to me, I would have only liability which is cheaper than having collision on top of the liability. Anyway, collision paid for the damages. The other party took full blame of the accident (since the car was parked and no one was inside). The insurance adjuster was very nice and really understood what it would take to repair the car. So, I got a good estimate. I have decided to repair the damage myself. So, the money covers the 1 brake light assembly (damaged in accident) replacement along with 2 new headlight assembly (not damaged in accident) and the Bondo and primer and color paint and gloss coat. Just waiting for Amazon to deliver the parts and paints. I have pushed out the dent. Bondo on the surface and sanded it down. Will prime and wait for the paint to come. Won’t look like new but will look better. Ten year old car. Recently had a state inspection done on it. Needed new tires, front sway bar links and rear brake rotors and pads. (Bought online which was way cheaper than brick and mortar stores) All for less than the repair estimate. Which made me happy. Insurance paid me the estimate already. If I did not have collision then would have to wait for the other party’s insurance to pay for the damages. That is if they pay. I have seen my brother in law get into an accident and get no money for damages. Insurance just refused to pay. After that accident, my wife insisted we get collision insurance. Glad we did. We also pay for road side assistance which I have used about three times already for tows.
Thomas168ParticipantThe world we see is the one we create for ourselves. If one takes on peoples words as negative then it will be negative. If we decide that someone is trying to isolate us from other then we are doing that. It is tough to build self confidence and to tackle the world without help. And sometimes we want help from our siblings. But, they are just another kids trying to just get by too. Anger and blame won’t change your life. Only you can do that. Only you can make the changes in yourself to be better, to live a better life.
Thomas168ParticipantWell, you might hate me for saying this, … but, ….
You and your boyfriend did not talk enough to know what was on each other’s mind. There was not enough communication. So, there was this lack of of understanding. Sure you liked him and he like you but there was not enough talk about what the future would look like. To see if there was an alignment. You want to go home. He wants to go find a job. So, even though you made the promise to be exclusive, your emotions on this was not absolutely clear. The alcohol only exacerbated it.
Where would loyalty be? Why spend time with another man at all if you wanted to be exclusive. You set up the conditions for this to happen. If you ask me, you should try to work on yourself. Figure out what you want in life and then go about building it. Confess? Did that make you feel better or did it make him feel worse?
Emotional out burst that scares you? Something is wrong if that gets triggered. I am sorry for all the sadness that has happened. But, it is a situation of your own creation. So, how do you go from here? Right where you should have been in the first place. Talking about what you see your futures to be like. Do you plan to marry? Do you plan to have babies/children? Who works and who takes care of the children? What type of housing can you afford? What will it take to make your relationship solid again??
Yeah, I am sorry. Maybe I read your post wrong. I don’t know. I have been a sad sack all my life and only see things from the worse point of view. So, live a good life and make me regret my words. Wishing you well.
Thomas168ParticipantI find (and I could be wrong) that to be able to be oneself is to be alone with oneself. When others are in the room, we get pushed and pulled one way or another. That is just the nature of being human. We are influenced by our environment and the people in it. To me, goofy you was just a part of you. Now that you are older, you have changed. That is only natural. You don’t have to please everyone.
So, first you need time to spend alone to find your authentic self. The when you find yourself, you must continue to be yourself while you are with others. One step at a time. Good luck.
Thomas168ParticipantA person once said to me, what goes around comes around. Her meaning is that whatever you give to people is what you get back. Simply, being part of the community is dependent on how you reach out to people. My sister lived in a building in NYC with 24 floors and each floor had 10 apartments. When my sister died, almost everyone in the building came to her funeral. The hall was huge and there was standing room only. She had touched the lives of everyone there in one way or another.
My sister wasn’t perfect. But, she put herself out there to help others. And in return, there was a big sense of community. So, when she passed away from Cancer, people learned of it and came out to show respect. So, if you want to have a great sense of community then you will need to show others you are part of their community.
As Roberta said, “Wishing you all the best in finding meaningful connection in your city”. I do hope you find what you are looking for.
Thomas168ParticipantThis is the classic reason for suffering or not being satisfied with your life. When a person sees something they want, they desire it. It becomes the focus of their life. Then when they do get that thing, the excitement wanes. They become bored and tired of it quickly. And so the next new thing has to come along.
So, if you can see the situation is similar to yours then maybe you can see the path to freedom from such. A person can be extremely bored with their lives. Then if something happens which disrupts their life, way beyond normal bounds, then they may wish to have that normal life again. If you understand then it isn’t about the situation. it isn’t about your life being boring. It is your attitude towards your life. Some don’t know how good they have it until they lose it.
Of course, you can say this is all BS. And that is fine. People need to experience things for themselves to learn the truth. Some never learn. I wish you luck in your pursuit of happiness and not being bored. If you find the answers then please let the rest of us know.
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