Hello,

I am sorry to do this push pull with James. I do not wish to upset anyone. What I wanted to do is to see if I can put a mirror up to James to see if he will see that some of the things he says just isn’t exactly right. Not saying he is wrong. Just not completely right. And by trying to show him a mirror, this conflict came up. James would rather double down on his claims. Okay. As Roberta said two butt heads. Now Butt heads could be verbs or nouns. Depends on your take. I will laugh at both.

I don’t know. But if James is right then at my death, my squeamish personality will burn until there will not even be ashes left. Which I guess must be a fate worse than death?? As far as I know, what is born then it must also die. What is born comes from the unborn. Change comes from the unchanging. Well, that is what I recently read. Must be true since someone said it??? If James says it then it must be true?

I promise to stop. There is no reason to do this conflict any longer as anyone can see that it isn’t helping anyone. I had stopped posting in his threads. He came to this thread after I had posted. Ego must be wanting this play?? I will no longer play this game. Promise. I do not want to upset anyone.

The English poet once said, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
Don’t know how true this saying is cause I know how much it hurts to lose love.
But, got to believe there is something better coming.

Dear James,

Does telling the truth happen without constraints? Do we not have societal norms?
It is one thing to say the tree leaves are green and turning colors.
It is another to say you are fat and/or stupid.
Even though it may be true, one does not say those things because they are hurtful.
So, truth is not the be all to the end all.
Truth does not trump love, compassion and wisdom.
There is no enlightenment. Only enlightened actions.
With all that you know, you have still not learned this lesson??

Hey Roberta,

Thanks. Needed someone to call me a butt head. LOL. Yeah, i know Ann hasn’t been back. And she probably found her answer already. I just like rattling James cage and see what shakes out. He talks like a wiseman but shows no compassion. Talks and talks then needs to clarify his answers. Then goes to insults like,

Oooh, strike me in my heart, … arrggh. I am hurt. I am going to cry my eyes out. LOL.

Love is all conditional. What makes it love is the caring and the working together to maintain a relationship. It isn’t,

That is wishful thinking. But what do I know after all I am just a person who can’t handle the truth, life wise and spiritual wise.

Sorry, I am being difficult. I apologize for being difficult to get along with. But, I do promise to stay out of James threads.

Relationships aren’t about a perfect match. Relationships are hard work.
But, the reward is having someone you love and loving you.
Of course, there are those who should not stay a couple and there are those who will stay together forever.
What is the deciding factors? I don’t know.
That is dependent upon the couple.

To give outright advice that a couple should break up??
Makes me wonder whose shoulders one stand upon??

I know I am going to say something stupid so just take this with a huge rock of salt.
There is a joke I heard where a woman is complaining to her therapist about her husband getting angry.
She is afraid that her husband might explode. So, the therapist says that anytime he begins to get angry
to put some water in her mouth and swish it around. Keep doing that until he calms down.
After a week of doing this, she returns to the therapist and says that little trick is working.
And ask how does swishing water in her mouth calms her husband down. The therapist says that if
she doesn’t say anything then there isn’t anything for him to get upset about.

Well, that might have nothing to do with your situation.
But, if each person is making notes about what the other did wrong.
This is no way to have a relationship. Making your feelings depend upon how the other reacts.
It is a recipe for manipulations and calculations and just plain turmoil.
And it won’t get better as each thinks about what the other has done.
And then it begins to fester.

I am sorry. I am not giving advice. I wouldn’t know what is the best way to go.
Lately, I just ask myself what is important to me
And then I live for that.