Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
Thomas168ParticipantHello Alessa,
Counting and ABCs? Wonderful!! My fear was when my daughter had to learn the multiplication table. I remember how tough it was for me. Well, my wife took on that task and she was proficient before I knew it. When my daughter was learning how to ride a bike, it was my wife who had the patience and perseverance to teach her to do it. Yeah, falling down and getting hurt a bit was part of the lesson. But, when my wife insisted she learn. It got done. Me, I always thought it might take longer or she might not learn at all. She still hasn’t learned to tie her shoes laces because I always bought the strap on shoes or ones with stretch straps or Velcro. I did not do her any good by doing that. Somethings just have to push thru. It can be a lot of work.
Anyway, happy to hear you got nursery lined up. It should give you a little time for whatever else you need to do during the day. I still remember my first day. 4 years old, I cried when my mom left me alone at school. But after the first day, it got a lot easier. Hope all goes well. Take good care of yourself and the family.
Tommy
Thomas168ParticipantYes, it would be a blessing to see another post from MURTAZA.
June 13, 2026 at 10:11 am in reply to: Have you ask, after all these realizations and knowledge, why do you suffer? #458569Thomas168ParticipantIt is a difficult situation when there are loved ones who are near death or dying. Can a person who is dying choose when and the method of their death? People in general value life. What kind of life is it when it burdens loved ones? Personally, have thought of times when the situation might require a decision that is kept out of the realm of what is possible. There was a doctor who assisted those who wished to end their suffering. He was prosecuted.
Oh, there are those who have severe depression and wish to end it. Those are not dying or suffering for a terminal disease. Would never consider that to be a choice for those with such afflictions as depression.
So, do we spend every minutes trying to find freedom? Or do we just live the best way we know how? I personally always believed that the journey was worth more than the destination.
June 11, 2026 at 4:02 am in reply to: The man I was dating has pulled away completely and gone silent #458518Thomas168ParticipantRobin,
Relationships are a messy area to understand. A man meets a woman who they believe they can build a life with. Then, after some time, the woman (80% of the time) initiate divorce. It isn’t a simple split. Too many feelings involved. Then the life the man imagined gets torn apart. Loses half of everything. Gets the kids take away from him. And then must also pay for this lost of the kids by paying for child support. Then don’t know about alimony. So, instead of a wonderful life together. It all becomes a shamble. This is the reality men face.
So, when a man meets another woman in the midst of such a divorce, would there be a fear of this happening again? Would any red flags arise to deter the new relationship from going smoothly? Would it remind him that he could face another turmoil with this other woman? I don’t know. But, once burnt, it might make one more cautious.
So, it was a serious relationship? But, he shut down? You sent apology texts? Sounds like you left the ball in his court. I have no advice. No words of wisdom. The only thing I know is that the more time spent apart makes for the heart to grow fonder of the time spent together. And after more time apart, things change and life goes on. Less and less time spent on thinking of the past. The heart rebuilds its shields. I hope you find the happiness you deserve. Remember that another person will not make you happy. You must first be happy with yourself. Then another person who comes into your life will compliment your life and not rule it. Good luck.
Tommmy168
Note: This is only my point of view. Please disregard if you don’t like the words here.
Thomas168ParticipantI wish I had something to say that would ease your mind and set your heart free from this burden. But, I don’t have any words that can do that. I have no magic. Only well wishes that fall like the rain drops. They all run together and get washed away. I am sorry.
June 9, 2026 at 9:15 pm in reply to: Have you ask, after all these realizations and knowledge, why do you suffer? #458493Thomas168ParticipantIn conventional thought, there is suffering from pain and from the lack of human needs being met. These things do not go away. Suffering is real and tangible. However, in unconventional thought, suffering comes from the identification of the self. That pain is part of the human condition but suffering comes from wishing the world was different and pain could be avoided. Like lamenting the sorrows again and again. So, what James says may be true but it doesn’t come from a place of deep understanding. Lacking this, it can not reach deep into the hearts of those who read his words. Sorry, this is just my perspective.
Note: It is good to see more activity on the forum again. Like having good neighbors.
Thomas168ParticipantWhen one invest too much of themselves in their thoughts, the thoughts seem to be more real than life itself. June Bennett is right that the anxiety is caused by being focused on worries. And follows up with a method to change that. James123 over simplifies it but is also right. Alessa has the most compassion.
To me Overthinking and Anxiety are caused by identifying too much with one’s thoughts. So much so that the those thoughts and stresses become a reflex reaction to life. They become the reflex reaction to almost any situation. The person must learn to control their thoughts and actions to change the reaction. Otherwise the default reaction is to worry. Begin by stopping yourself. Stop worrying. Make plans. Create action plans which lead you on the right path.
Thomas168ParticipantHi Roberta,
Formal practice? None before. But now, I would like to believe I am one a better path. Not the right one but a better one. Hopefully my understanding has improved.
Every once in a while, I feel the need for a drink. Use to smoke cigarettes but quit about 22 years ago when my daughter was born. Use to have dreams of smoking. The drink just provides for a different mood. I don’t drink to get drunk. Just a little tipsy. At worse, once in a weekend. Not every weekend. Not dependent upon it. I have more of a coffee addiction than alcohol.
Practice seems to come in many forms. First is the sitting practice. Spending 30 minutes each day just sitting. Then there is the practice to carry that mind set forward into daily life. Whether sitting on a bench waiting for the bus or sitting in a doctor’s waiting room, always be present. It doesn’t mean not thinking or the mind being somewhere else. But, being here in this moment. Not distracted by thoughts which pull one away from here. But, this practice comes and goes with the energy surrounding me.
I too appreciate the forum for allowing space to talk to others of similar thoughts. And for being able to help others on their journey. Anita seems to be a moving force here. Very strong and capable of compassion. Of course this doesn’t exclude the others here who also help provide a warm space of hope. Shout out to those here with a kind word to spare.
Be well and hope all is good for you and yours.
TommyThomas168ParticipantAnita,
Please continue to do what you believe is right. It doesn’t matter whether you post in this thread or not. Just do you. And I will do me. And life goes on. We all have things going on. Some good and some needing more attention. Just disregard my past posts. I only mentioned it as a passing thought. Please do not get upset. You have done a lot of good here. And I don’t really matter.
Thomas168ParticipantHello Roberta,
Wow, that sounds so nice. People stopping by to hang out. Meeting relatives for day trip. Meeting new people for a kindness meditation, sounds ideal. When I see very old topics or posts, it makes me not want to post cause the topic is either too long or too old to be of concern to even the original poster. Sorry, that is just me. Then there is the fact that old posts push the new ones down and they disappear. So don’t even see the current posts. Then don’t bother to look for it. Still I understand Anita reasons for doing that. Can’t criticize or be overly judgy.
Peace with my wife is like a tsunami at the beach. Tempers flair and then when it passes, the wreckage is vast. Later things get back to normal. Marriage isn’t all wine and roses. Maybe I need a drink. Haven’t had one in a long time. Oh, my meditation comes and goes with the peace in my family. Sometimes good and sometimes lacking. But, thanks for the well wishes.
Thomas168ParticipantMimia,
My advice is to not say anything more about your past. It will color his profile of you and could wreck the relationship. Being honest? You can be honest by being present and showing your love (feelings). Be this present person that you are. There is no need to dreg up the past. The past may have helped mold who you are today but it doesn’t define who you are. Let the past go and live in the present.
Your boyfriend saying he would not date a sex worker means that he is setting boundaries. If you love him and can stay inside those boundaries then live a good life. Don’t upset it with your need to let everything out. It won’t help the relationship. If you need to give a number then no more than three. First love. Rebound guy and this guy you have now. If you had STDs then blame on rebound guy.
Am I telling you to lie? Yes. Why? Cause the only thing that is important is shedding off the past and living in the present. Don’t think of the past. Don’t bring it up. Strive for a better future. We all have regrets. But don’t let the regrets define who you are now.
Sorry if you think that your guy deserves better or that you feel you need to expose your past to him. I don’t think it is healthy to let your guy think you have a sordid past. If you truly have changed then take this chance to live a good life.
Tommy
Thomas168ParticipantHello Alessa,
Truly missed you. Was hoping everything is still okay. Hope your people are healthy, happy and safe. Yeah, daughter went to graduation. Helping her with transferring to a 4 year college after 2 year community college. All to finish 4 years of college and begin looking for a teaching job. Then later must complete her masters to stay a teacher. I am really proud of her. And I let her know it.
The wife and I are in the aftermath of a verbal disagreement about who does more work. And of course, I backed down and apologized. I keep the peace. Doesn’t matter who is right. I just want peace. After a little while things will cool off. Life will return to peace.
So, how is the baby? Growing up too fast? Day care? Do you read to him? Show him the words and read? Well, I hope all is good.
May 26, 2026 at 8:30 pm in reply to: If karma supposedly exists why do so many unkind people never face it? #458176Thomas168ParticipantKarma exist but it isn’t what you think it is. Karma is not an agency for justice. It isn’t what goes around comes around. Karma is action with intent. When a person does something with an intent, that is Karma. When the proper conditions arise, Karma will fulfill those actions and intent. It bring about the resolution. Much like planting an apple seed. An apple tree will grow. An orange tree will not grow in its stead.
So when nasty people do nasty things, it creates Karma. Karma will find its resolution. What that is depends upon the action and its intent. It is beyond me to understand how those energy will find its way. It could be in this lifetime or the next. Or the resolution can be ten thousand years from the occurrence. Please understand that when nasty things are done, it attracts nasty things.
When a good person acts with good intent, there are no rewards or merits. However, good deeds attract good energy. How it plays out? I do not know. That all depends upon the person, the action and the intent.
If you are looking for justice then that is in the realm of men and their laws. And still out of my understanding and control.
Thomas168ParticipantYeah, people get busy and come and go. It would be nice to hear from them and maybe get a few new voices hear. Still very concerned about Laven. Hope she is doing better. As I believe I said, I don’t think you are doing anything to disrupt the forum. Just that all the older topics and posts seem to rule when you bring them all back. It could be a good thing to raise them back up. Maybe someone needs to see a sign? I don’t know. Anyway, you do you cause I know it comes from the heart. Wish you well.
Thomas168ParticipantAnita,
Please understand that I am not saying what you are doing is disrupting the forum. But, that it may have some unintended results. What happened to all the others who were recently on here? Alessa? Peter? Roberta and the rest? I haven’t seen any recent posts from them? Or is it that I am not looking hard enough? Anyway, time to rest.
-
AuthorPosts
