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XenopusTex

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Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 249 total)
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  • in reply to: I need help #125749
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Going home (queues up Dvorak New World Symphony 2nd movement) isn’t the answer. I moved away from a dysfunctional family and was dumb enough to invite one in. Unlike wine, or so I have been told, dysfunction doesn’t get better with time.

    in reply to: An emotional wreck?! #125744
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    You are 30. The odds of you getting more siblings are pretty tiny. You can’t really change that either.

    As far as moving goes, England has to offer advantages that Pakistan simply can’t. would think that staying in England is a better option.

    in reply to: Coping with Suffering of Other Beings? #125742
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    PETA – People Eating Tasty Animals 🙂

    In all seriousness, sometimes culls are necessary. The deer population exploded in my area. The predictable population crash happened with deer stacked up like chord wood around watering holes because of the extreme thirst caused by bleeding to death internally from “blue tongue.” Biting gnats spread it like wildfire.

    in reply to: Self-improvement quote that trips the BS detector #125741
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Anita, sorry for delayed response. On the road.

    Not 100% sure what that line means. I look at it sort of the way you did. At some point, you can become so malleable that you cease being you. Of course, I am not known for my flexibility…

    in reply to: Blindsided by breakup #125283
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Why does this remind me of the “hacking” scandal with the US political parties this year? Exact same tactic: attack the supposed source as opposed to dealing with the content of the material. In all likelihood, there is truth to your suspicions, and here is the reason I say that: when you can’t address the material, you look for supposed faults in how it was obtained, or similar. It’s a classic “magician” trick to get the audience to take its collective focus elsewhere. It’s a classic trick in trials to try to get the jury to focus on unimportant things and to miss the damning material. Be especially cautious if you ask him about wiping his phone, and he responds with “like with a soft cloth.”

    in reply to: is there hope? #125282
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    A person will tell you what they think you want to hear. Not meaning to sound harsh, but if you keep insisting that she tell you she isn’t going to leave, it will eventually turn into telling you whatever she thinks will get you to stop asking. And, at some point, she’ll get tired of it and say to hell with it.

    Anita, hmmm… maybe that’s where I’ve gone wrong when I’ve left dinner location up to potential dates. Why would it come across as “dependent” on somebody to ask them about where to eat? I’m a bit confused by your recommendation to Hohs. Not everybody likes everybody else’s choice in foods or coffees for that matter. If I’m drinking straight coffee, I like it darker and thicker than Guinness Stout; just on the hairy edge of bitter; a black hole in a mug. If I’m getting an espresso drink, again prefer a place that serves up drinks that would give non-caffeine-fiends an instant heart attack. Other people might not like that style, and why not give them an option to pick where to go?

    Simple truth: you existed before you met her. You existed before you even knew she existed. You will exist even if she tells you to sit in a corner and pound sand. The more desperate you are for something, the harder it can be to obtain it. Imagine how you would feel if say your boss kept asking you every 5-10 minutes “are you going to finish the project?” After enough of that, you’d probably be inclined to tell your boss to take the project and shove it into a bodily orifice not normally illuminated by light. Now, imagine that instead of your boss, it’s somebody who supposedly wants to spend the rest of life with you.

    As a prosecutor, I can say that one of the big early red flags in a relationship is obsession about what the other person is doing, when they will be back, demanding constant confirmation, etc.. It comes across as very controlling, and that’s a really big red flag. Things tend to spiral out-of-control from there. There is, for example, a difference between asking for your SO to let you know when he/she gets in after a lengthy trip in bad weather and constantly asking if your SO is going to be returning. One is concern, the other is an attempt to control based on fear. Having seen what happens when attempts at verbal control are deemed insufficient, I cannot blame the woman for pulling back from such a display of fear.

    “Hope:” – Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment (Imperial Librarians, Warhammer 40,000 – Dawn of War). Why put yourself in a situation where all you have to rely upon is “hope?”

    in reply to: Emotionally confused #124812
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    In the immortal words of Monty Python… “Run away.”

    Drug use is a bad sign, and the first sign that fleeing is probably best.

    The polygamy is well, um, uh… a cultural thing as Anita said. Women are chattel in that culture. It’s not politically correct to say, but it’s the truth. You really want to be wife #12 or something?

    in reply to: I slept with a coworker #124811
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    #1 – avoid strip clubs, nothing good ever comes from them.

    #2 – I would seriously consider this a lapse of judgment partly fueled by the combination of alcohol and the eroticism of the strip club. Maybe take this opportunity to evaluate what you really want.

    in reply to: What is "Home"? #124810
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Hmmm… Sweden vs. LA. I can tell you I’d go with Sweden in a heartbeat. Weather can be handled with clothing, heating, etc. Drive-by shootings… not so much. However, if you enjoy restrictions on people that favor the criminal element, high taxes, high crime rates, high property costs, earthquakes, rioting and looting, smog that rivals Beijing, and various other benefits of living in LA, then feel free.

    Also, please don’t confuse “multicultural” with welcoming in all areas. As Anita stated, gangs control large areas of LA. As a Swede, you show up in a Crips area, you’ve probably got a problem. You wear the wrong color in the wrong area and you’ve got a problem. You make a wrong turn, you’ve got a problem.

    Haven’t been to LA but have been to San Francisco and San Diego. I am 6’3″ and ~230 pounds. There were places there that, well, um, yeah… were “dark” as you described. I took a shuttle bus to SF’s airport for a red-eye flight out, and man, it was like watching the walking dead. The most ironic thing about that SF trip was being at a homicide conference held at a hotel around Fisherman’s Wharf, and hearing the very distinct sound of a pistol shot on the block (yeah, the city where supposedly guns are “controlled”).

    California is very split in terms of ideology. The coastal area to a depth of 1-3 counties, particularly in the LA, SF, and SD areas is probably the most politically liberal thing you’ll ever find outside of parts of Colorado (Boulder) and Montana (Missoula). The rest of California is mostly conservative. However, because the population is on the coast, the people who live in the vast majority of the land area of the state get stuck with the city’s ideology.

    “Home” is a cultural/societal construct of dubious merit. It’s created to sell “lifestyles.” It’s packaged and sold to bring people’s money to locations and to other individuals.

    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Inky: I kind of disagree on the “There is no Them. We are them.” thing. Same for making sure that everyone is fed, warm, and safe. In doing the last three things, you wind up encouraging people to stay while simultaneously decreasing the safety. There’s a local saying… -40F keeps the riff-raff out. As people became more “compassionate,” crime, etc. increased during the winter. The more people worried about the “safety” of the vagrants, the more the vagrants congregated and the more they would hang around towns panhandling, urinating/defecating wherever they chose, and stealing whatever wasn’t welded down. This “compassion” is killing communities and not just places like San Francisco where structural damage is occurring due to the amounts of human urine and/or feces being applied. Last time I was in Billings, MT could see last night’s pools of vomit and urine in building entrances and noticed that several businesses had closed.

    Sorry, but I work hard for my money, and I’m not even getting a raise this year due to budgetary issues. I have little patience or sympathy for people not willing to get off their butt and do something productive. We’ve seen the results of getting something for just having been conceived and delivered, and it doesn’t work. What is wrong with expecting people to be productive and to have the common sense to at least be prepared to survive in the environment that they travel to? Why is it my, or my neighbor’s problem when “Bob” slithers into town in a “wifebeater” and sweatpants in the middle of winter and discovers that… no, you can’t get a 6-figure job with 5 felony convictions, current parole status, no training, “Dead Beat” tattooed on your knuckles, and personal hygiene that would make Pig-Pen vomit?

    Also, when there is an influx of California and Illinois gang-bangers who bring with them prostitutes, drugs, and violence, it is an us and them situation. The same thing holds true for periodic influxes of Aryan Brotherhood types from Northern Idaho and other areas, who bring their own version of sex, drugs, and violence.

    I was thinking more along the lines of the global craziness that seems to have erupted in various countries. Everybody wants to push everybody’s else’s buttons. Kind of like the prelude to WWI. The difference being “Big Bertha” and the “Paris gun” were the height of technology in the 1910’s. The height of technology today involves dropping multi-megaton displays of canned sunshine on multiple targets.

    There is also the craziness in the US that seems to espouse “criminals are our ‘misunderstood’ friends.” Any wonder why we’re experiencing record overdoses, a runaway heroin problem, etc. when our leader keeps releasing “non-violent” drug dealers? It truly can’t be a good thing to reduce the sentence on say, somebody who imported >1 metric ton (1,000Kg) of marijuana. Yet, that’s the message being sent. Perhaps it is these “misunderstood friends” who keep trying to pry their way into my house?

    in reply to: What's life? #123355
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    At the deepest level, life is a series of struggles, one of which you ultimately lose. During which there is generally a hardwired drive to reproduce to perpetuate the species.

    in reply to: Why do People Lie? #122999
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Anita: I am sitting here, after today warmed up about 30 degrees or so. Saturday, the high was ~-10F. You know you’ve lived in North Dakota for a while when you think… -15F and no wind, that’s not bad. Good hunting weather this week, too bad I won’t have time :/ My shotguns hunger, but no time. Of course, last time, the old line… you missed… with a shotgun… would apply.

    People lie for many reasons as you said. People are hypocritical about lying by themselves and others.

    This leads me to a serious question, and not meaning to get into political issues, but I wonder about something. When Bob the murderer say “I didn’t do it,” there is a group of people who believe him no matter what the evidence shows, and encourage others to do so. This same group of people automatically assumes that Russia hacked into part of the election candidate choosing process despite the people being targeted saying h*ll no it wasn’t them. If we should believe that Bob “didn’t do it” despite a dozen videos from cameras, the victim’s blood on the interior of Bob’s gun, and Bob’s confession… Why shouldn’t we believe Russia?

    People are gullible. People believe what folks will tell them. Psychopaths work it best because they are really great at telling people what they want to hear. Marketing folks are also very good at telling B.S. to the point where it’s even called “puffing.” Any coincidence that marketing folks and psychopaths are good at the same things? How many times do you see “World’s Best,” or “Nation’s Best,” or similar line of bull sh*t? Or people trying to sell you something that you don’t need, or worse, is dangerous.

    I.E. one gun store in the state tried to sell one of our female attorneys a heavy frame S&W .357Magnum revolver with a trigger pull that she couldn’t operate. All that would do is result in the weapon getting taken from you and you getting filled with .357Magnum sized holes. This woman had never shot anything heavier than a .22LR, but they kept telling her it was what she wanted. The guy was trying to make money off of selling her a hand-cannon that she had no means of practically using.

    in reply to: Why do People Lie? #122981
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Does this dress make me look fat?

    Answer choices:

    1) No.
    2) Yes.
    3) Anything short of a “Big Top” tent would make you fat.

    One of these will lead to you not getting slapped. Two of them will lead to you getting slapped. Guess which one gets picked… Even if the person asking the question might be on par with a Sumo wrestler.

    Anita, ah yes… the Nigerian check scheme and other such schemes. “I really like you, but I need ~$10,000.00 to come to see you. Wouldn’t you like to see me? Please send the money to my .” Then comes the series of excuses as to why more money is necessary.

    in reply to: Christmas is coming… #122385
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    One of the reasons I don’t like “Christmas,” the co-opted celebration of the winter solstice. So many people have so many expectations of the thing. All of this talk about rocks has me seeing images of one person or the other grabbing the rock and bludgeoning the other with it.

    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Anita: Yep, endless paperwork or its equivalent. Was supposed to try two cases in the upcoming two weeks: one a fairly simple theft collection, the other a nasty collection of personal crime things set during the week before Christmas. I just tried a case earlier this week. At least the other two are not “goes”.

    Also, just something about the “holiday” season that makes me want to hibernate or something. Not very good with the whole “forced happiness” thing around the season. Find it really hard to be around folks this time of year.

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 249 total)