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XenopusTex

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Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 249 total)
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  • in reply to: Thoughts on Death Anxiety? #122323
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Avoid the drugs. They don’t help anything. They aren’t going to open up other dimensions to you. They aren’t going to give you anything other than problems.

    in reply to: Transgender or Gender Dysphoria? #122108
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    You are what you are. I am what I am. If you like shooting/hunting, that doesn’t mean you aren’t a woman. I am absolutely terrible at math, my epic badness is legendary at the office… that doesn’t mean I’m not a man.

    It’s interesting to look at the representations of things in different cultures and different time periods. You have the deities: Diana (hunt) and Artemis (hunt). Apart from being represented as the ultimate in human female physique (just like their male counterparts for male physique), that’s certainly not a “feminine” thing. In Japan, girls used to be trained to use the yumi, a large longbow… wanna take a guess at what it was used for?

    I also work with a woman who can’t stand to be around firearms, I work with a male police officer who made his way up the ranks and feels the same way. I work with a woman who loves to grab her .308Winchester and kill “God’s creatures” and put them in her fridge, I work with several men who grab their and do the same. I admit that I don’t know of any women out here who use one of my friend’s preferred “deer” rounds, the old .375H&H Magnum, but there aren’t too many guys who want to shoot that either 🙂 Beautiful gun and a beautiful and versatile round, but *ouch*. Someday, I shall own a nice Finnish made .375H&H Magnum, but that day is not today.

    Here’s a practical safety concern that I have for your beliefs. “There are times when i feel safer pretending to be a male.” One of the most important safety concerns is knowing your limitations and knowing when “going there” is a “Bad Thing”(tm). I am 6’3”, 230 pounds, and frequently carry a weapon ranging from .380ACP to .45ACP and can shoot a pistol to law enforcement qualification standards. You know what… when that little voice in the back of my head says don’t go there, I don’t go there. I am concerned that this feeling of safety may lead you into situations that you probably shouldn’t be in. It’s like those folks who get a concealed carry permit and think that they are invincible… they aren’t.

    in reply to: Boyfriend doesn't care what he looks like #122100
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    I don’t know if you’ll make more from your SO dressing better or not. My boss married a guy who does construction… I don’t think that affected her (personal) income much if any. Of course, he is/was good at what he does/did, so he made a decent amount of money from his business. I don’t think he owns a single suit.

    If it really bothers you that much, could always just flush the relationship and move on. If after three years you haven’t convinced him, highly unlikely that he will have an epiphany any time soon.

    Can’t imagine why he wouldn’t want to treat the acne issue. I had acne problems, not fun to put up with.

    in reply to: Jealousy Strategy #122090
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Anita, parents being late doesn’t always indicate being lost or forgotten or unseen. Work, traffic, mother nature, all sorts of things can add up to being late. This week, we had a storm here that was so bad, people who lived in the periphery but worked in town, stayed in town. Yes, in the 21st century, we had weather that was so bad people couldn’t travel.

    in reply to: Transgender or Gender Dysphoria? #121855
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    I admit that I kind of get tired of the whole “gender-fluid” concept. There are, and will always be, differences between men and women at both the physiological and psychological levels.

    I know a variety of law enforcement officers. Most of the women carry the smallest frame pistol compatible with the job requirements. Many of them don’t shoot all that well because they probably can’t get a good grip on the “Glock” 2×4 grip of their .45ACP pistols. Of course, they might shoot better with a heavier frame, but, eh… There is also one female officer I know who carries the biggest duty weapon I’ve seen; think it’s a Glock G40 in 10mm Auto. But, she’s also my size, so that has something to do with it. Would hate to be on the receiving end of that… ouchie.

    When I look at all this “gender-fluid” stuff, I can’t help but think that it’s a product of way too much time on one’s hands. Do you cease to be a woman if you enjoy going out and hunting for example? Do I cease to be a man if I’m clothes shopping?

    Enjoy who you are, and stop spending time trying to figure out some classification. People are getting paid money, who knows from where, to come up with all sorts of names for things.

    in reply to: Disassociation of my environment with ex #121096
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Jawn: Anita’s right. You are romanticizing what was. The Med. isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. Greece’s economy moved beyond swirling the bowl and is somewhere downstream of the toilet. Italy’s isn’t all that great either, same for Spain’s. There are some interesting genetic traits to deal with the climate down there. Go across to the other side of the Sea, and well, there’s not much grand over there.

    Strange; northern Europe ranks pretty high in livability, including Norway, Sweden, etc.. Would love to go see it, if I could ever get enough tranquilizers to handle the flight. Haven’t had too many issues with the northern Europeans I encounter out in the Dakotas. Too bad none of the female Finns I’ve encountered are particularly interested… between my British Isles ancestry (queue up Welsh names) and the Finns’ apparent love for vowels in strange places, could have some interestingly named kids…

    in reply to: Feeling Trapped #121094
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Nate: Let me get this straight… you were living the life of a hobo/transient/vagabond/etc., you knocked up a woman, now you’re stuck with the situation, and are unhappy that you can’t go back to the hobo life? That about sum it up? Seems to be a serious issue with laziness.

    #1 Hopping the next train out-of-town isn’t going to solve your problems. In my neck of the woods, it would turn you into a corpsicle, which would, in a way, I guess, solve your problems. However, when you impregnated that woman, you irrevocably changed your position. Not simply from a societal standpoint, but also from a biological standpoint. Care of offspring is generally instinctive in mammals, and probably relates to the more-or-less hardwired drive to transfer genes to the next generation. Love it or hate it, you co-created your daughter, and hopping the next train isn’t going to un-make her.

    #2 The work until you die issue isn’t just for the 9-5 set. Ever stop to think that if nobody actually worked, there would be no trains to ride, no shelters to come to in bad weather, etc. Here’s the kicker: you work in life whether you are hopping freight trains, or doing the 9-5 thing.

    #3 You are financially where you are because instead of developing marketable skills, you elected to live a transient lifestyle. Depending on where you are, there are community colleges that have night classes, etc. Heck, even in Podunkville where I live, there is a community college that offers night classes. So, the question is: are you going to put out the effort to better yourself, or adopt the “work is for schmucks” position?

    While I wasn’t a hobo, for some time after law school, I took a series low-paying jobs in a very low spot in my life, while I was blaming a bunch of things on other people. I decided that I was the only person who could change my career outlook, and so I did. Was it easy? Heck no. But, it was worth it.

    Anita: Hehe the Id and the superego. I wish parents would imprint more superego on their spawn sometimes. Contrary to popular politically-correct ideology, there is still a time and a place for a good swift kick in the arse.

    in reply to: So many bad things happening at once… #121091
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Inky: Hey now, there’s nothing wrong with the election. We’re just stuck with the gong show that has resulted from it. I’m more worried about the excessive amounts of human stupidity on display after the election than about the results. Seeing a big divide between the urban and rural communities. Really surprised that a ton of litigation hasn’t broken out yet. More troubling are the claims of “hacking” with nothing backing them up. Remember the threats the US made of doing cyber-attacks on Russia if it thought there was any hanky-panky going on? My concern is, we’ve got these allegations and nothing has been presented … how long before somebody thinks it’s a good idea to “poke the bear” and launch a cyber-strike?

    Anyway, enough of that.

    You do know what “clearing the decks” is for, at least originally, yes? 😛 I’d be a little nervous if the universe was “clearing the decks” in preparation for me… Especially if the universe’s equivalent of a 16″ naval cannon triple turret was swinging around to target me after the decks were cleared 😛

    The Book of Psalms has some interesting reading in it as does Ecclesiastes (think I’ve got the right book). I am not sure that I’d take it as divinely inspired, but some of the material in there is pretty good for human understanding/knowledge back yonder.

    Pain really doesn’t have a purpose outside of letting us know that something isn’t right. Could be physically, emotionally, etc. Sometimes it gives us a chance to fix/change/stop doing things.

    in reply to: i need someone to listen to my hard time #121083
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    I agree with Anita. Sacrificing your life is a bad plan.

    I’m known for being somewhat forthcoming, here goes:

    Whether you fall in love or don’t fall in love doesn’t affect your father’s medical condition. Well, let me back that up a moment… depending on his outlook, mindset, etc., a successful relationship might encourage recovery (if such is possible). You’d be amazed at what the human body can do if it has something to look forward to.

    At 20, you still have time to figure out what direction you want your life to go. I’ve tried doing the dutiful child thing, and let me tell you, it s*cks.

    We all do have death in our future, as far as sickness preceding death, not so sure on that; lot of ways to get your ticket punched that don’t involve protracted illnesses.

    Not sure that I can recommend religion as a cure all. Don’t get me wrong, I will sometimes walk down to the local Catholic church to spend some quiet thinking time, and sometimes find myself coming up with answers to questions I pose. Whether that is a product of divine intervention or simply quiet time for the massively powerful subconscious mind to data crunch, I cannot say. Religions can be a great source of guilt complexes which really doesn’t help much at all.

    in reply to: Through the storm of anxiety #121080
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Just be glad you don’t live in the US and get to experience the flat-out gong show that is taking place in our cities. (*Function checks 1911*). Sometimes glad to live in the rural areas 🙂 Though driving ~240 miles through a snow storm to get to the State Supreme Court for oral argument is a real pain.

    Medications help, but they aren’t the end-all-be-all. The most effective I was ever prescribed was the Xanax, Klonopin, etc. family. Too bad they are now viewed as the equivalent of something like heroin these days; good luck getting a script for them in the US. Last time I wanted about 10 pills for flights, I got treated as if I asked for crack cocaine or something.

    Before law school, I was diagnosed with major depression and GAD (also GERD, but something different). Before and during law school, I was prescribed virtually every flavor of anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication available at the time. Prozac blew my stomach up; tri-cyclics turned me into a highly constipated individual who wound up losing hours long blocks of time. When I took Zoloft I hallucinated and had out-of-body experiences. The best overall effect for anxiety came from Klonopin for me. Klonopin and its relatives didn’t seem to have a ramp-up process that things like SSRI’s, etc.

    Strange thing started to happen: when I knew I had something that simply worked, there was a certain power in that. I think I used a total of ~5 out of my last refill, mostly used with bouts of anxiety accompanied by migraine headaches (turn off the lights, shove a towel under the door, duct tape black trash bags over the windows, and turn off the phone type migraines). Once I grasped that I had something that would work when SHTF, then I could manage the lesser instances.

    As far as coming out of the end of it, I guess you could call it a success. Graduated law school and now work as a prosecutor making six-figures with assets over $1M. The downside is that I went into massive work-a-holism, my social life went in the cr*pper, and I’m 39 with no SO or spouse. Still suffer from anxiety and depression, but much more of the depression side than the anxiety these days (late fall/early winter on the Canadian border and SAD).

    We don’t really have much in the way of mental health services out here. It’s not that uncommon for even suicidal folks to not find mental health facilities, so I can’t talk about experiences with therapy. Lot of folks out here handle things differently. Shooting sports are very popular out here, but in Australia, probably not much of an option. A nice late spring day, a half-case of varmint ammunition, a sighted in rifle, and an endless supply of ground dwelling rodents = a mind (and field) clearing afternoon/morning.

    Exercise is always good.

    One thing: There’s always somebody richer than you are (unless your name is Bill Gates). There’s always somebody more knowledgeable about your field than you are. There’s always someone with a better looking, wealthier, SO or spouse than you. There’s always somebody with a better car, house, boat, than you. I don’t care what metric you choose, there is always going to be somebody better at it and somebody worse at it than you are. That type of comparison is not terribly likely to help you feel better.

    in reply to: Scarred forever for tainted love? #121075
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    *Queues up “Tainted Love” by Soft Cell*

    Something like a gambling addiction is bad. Sounds like somebody needs to be prosecuted for theft.

    Just be glad that somebody didn’t come to collect on that gambling debt. Depending on the size of that debt, there are lots of ways to collect on it. Trust me, you don’t want to experience some of those.

    You aren’t going to find satisfaction in aimless promiscuity. You might find something that you don’t want, and something that medicine can’t cure.

    I’m a little cynical about people who put on displays of religiosity.

    in reply to: What you think is bad or terrible, is still unfolding. #121072
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Scandinavia is mostly civilized 🙂 IIRC, it has some of the top rankings for “best places to live.” Just expensive to live there…

    in reply to: Tough time for me #120758
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Here’s the thing about out-of-wedlock pregnancies. For many years in the US, and probably still in other countries, the child born out-of-wedlock was considered a “bastard,” and basically treated like some outcast. Getting married ASAP after pregnancy is a way of “legitimizing” the child.

    Depending on the religion, sex before marriage is roughly the equivalent of choosing which BBQ sauce you wish to be basted with while you are rotisseried for all eternity.

    in reply to: Transgender or Gender Dysphoria? #120757
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Hehe Valkyries. See “What’s Opera Doc” for the Warner Brothers’ take on Valks 🙂

    Villages where half the warriors were women probably means that it was a small village:) Back in the day when combat was up-close and personal with swords, axes, etc., I’d bet on the average male warrior over the average female warrior every day and twice on Sunday if for no other reasons than reach and endurance.

    Here’s the thing: the feeling of “safety” isn’t about gender. On average, men are physically stronger than women as was noted. There are reasons for that beyond primary and secondary sex characteristics. If a man, XY, does not have the ability to make proper hormone receptors, the man develops with a sterile female body plan with average size and strength between that of a man and a woman.

    The other thing is that trying to come across as a “man” probably won’t make you anymore “safe”. There are differences in how men and women walk, there are differences in proportionality, and generally differences in size. I sometimes work with a woman who is 6’3″ tall, but, even with body armour on, it’s still pretty obvious she is a woman. However, with a Glock 41 and ~5 x 13round mags of .45ACP + 1 in the “pipe,” she’s somebody you wouldn’t want to mess around with.

    Not understanding the scientist thing. There are some jobs that I truly don’t think would typically work for women, but research isn’t one of them.

    in reply to: Nightmare situation #120756
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Umm… I’m almost afraid to ask…

    Perhaps send the dog to obedience school?

Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 249 total)