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XenopusTexParticipantUncertainty can be really difficult to address because it is the unknown. The unknown is scary, sometimes you don’t know how to prepare. There are times when you need to step back and evaluate the situation. Perhaps you can find a way to get some control back.
XenopusTexParticipantSafety is, to a certain extent, an illusion. Nobody is ever 100% safe. Sadly, people associate safety with things that may not actually be safe. It seems that you associated safety with somebody who had no financial responsibility and who had addiction problems. Those things are not conducive to safety. It seems that you recognized that, and now emotionally regret the decision to leave.
Why beat yourself up for getting out of a situation that isn’t good for you?
XenopusTexParticipantMy suggestion is to first lose whatever the mind altering substance is. It doesn’t bring enlightenment, etc. Sorry, but if you two have to get high to talk, there’s a problem. And, who knows if what you remember, if anything, is accurate.
Second, this guy sounds like somebody who wants everything, but doesn’t like what he gets; i.e. it is never enough. Ask yourself if that is really worth it. Do you really want to spend time with somebody who
doesn’t appreciate?Third, uprooting life is less miserable than living with someone who causes you a constant amount of stress.
XenopusTexParticipantMichelle, interesting. I tend to joke that I don’t even check what I make because I don’t have time to spend it. Only time it seems to matter is tax time, or when calculating what to invest.
I had been trying to get out more and meet people. Now kind of stuck with a bunch of stuff coming up. Meeting people basically came to naught, other than seeing me get shot down.
Had my birthday last week and still trying to figure out why people celebrate them. Was a bit of a party killer, tired, sick, irritable. To me, just a sign of being another year older, and still single.
Perhaps part of the problem is that I am not sure I remember how to be happy anymore. Just feel worn down most of the time. Don’t sleep well, even if I take melatonin. irritable.
Sort of internally conflicted, want a relationship, but not sure if it’s worth it. Not even sure if it is a good idea. Things that seem promising go in the tank.
XenopusTexParticipantDid some traveling. Wound up getting called, and wound up going in on the weekend.
Had been sick, so didn’t put much n thread over the weekend. Will do more later.
I really don’t think that the new gal is going to work out. Had to go do some banking at lunch and saw her with the other guy I had seen her with before.
XenopusTexParticipantI have work/life balance issues myself. However, isn’t it better that your boyfriend is working on improving himself? Lot worse things he could be doing.
XenopusTexParticipantPossibly. But, with the guy playing with the kid, etc. doesn’t seem like there is a lack of interest.
Haven’t yet found the magic of pursuit yet apparently.
Trying to figure out how to balance things. Was working ahead for stuff two weeks out, only to have a decision by someone else stand the prioritization on its head. Now have to put that project aside and shift to another one. All of the prep work I did for next week may come to a grinding halt tomorrow because of something outside of my control. Ironically, who lives at my house is of little issue, because I am not there that much.
I have people I know crabby at me for the massive amounts of time I have been spending at work. Seriously considering finding something else to do. But, yikes at the pay cut for many things.
Yep, I do see some of the results of bad relationship decision making, both here and on the job. I frequently watch people get married in the courthouse and wonder how soon the divorce happens.
XenopusTexParticipantGuessing that it is probably a dead issue. Went out for my normal lunch walk and saw her eating lunch with somebody else, not from where she works. Oh well, kind of the story of my life with personal relationships.
Guess I will have to try to start over again.
XenopusTexParticipantOnly problem is that such has been the story of my life for about the last eight years. As noted, I probably had been hiding behind work. I had been trying to get out and meet folks, now feeling utterly buried.
Not really sure where to go next with the relationship thing.
XenopusTexParticipantGot assigned to do a bunch of trial prep for stuff set out in a couple of weeks. Still working in dealing with the other projects.
Did not find her a lunch today. Thinking this may be a lost cause.
XenopusTexParticipantBah, still no word. Haven’t run into her this week. A bit chaotic with stuff going on, and haven’t had time to do as much introspection as I would have liked. Too much work, too little time:/.
XenopusTexParticipantNot sure that an ultimatum would work. I have told her that she needs to find a place and nothing happens. Can’t really evict her, so, short of moving myself, not sure what to do.
I know this, that I feel like the scope of my life has shrunk quite a bit.
XenopusTexParticipantKind of falling back into old lifestyle, not sure what to do about it at the moment. Supposed to get a bunch of stuff resolved before I have to take a bunch of vacation time (use or lose).
Trying to figure out how to best tell the folks at the office that my dance card is more then full. It is 6:30pm on a Friday, and still at the office. Others are out doing whatever, and I am still here. I know hat I use work to try to cover up loneliness, but really swamped:/
Didn’t get a chance to meet her today.
XenopusTexParticipantMaybe it is the prosecutor in me, but can’t help but think that part of the problem stems from the relationship at 15 with an older man.
Online dating poses challenges in and of itself. Online allows for a lot of things to be hidden compared to seeing them directly.
Just please be careful. There are folks who will take advantage of your situation. There are also wonderful folks out there, the kind I hope you meet.
XenopusTexParticipantYou mentioned that you wish you could trust without paying the price. There is always a price of some sort.
That being said, I don’t see how he can forget albums of semi-nude women wrestling.
Don’t get the whole “objectifying” thing, but can see that mud wrestling could be degrading.
“Objectifying” seems to be something with different definitions depending on who you ask. I mean, ultimately, men and women are nothing more than providers of biological materials.
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