
What Toxic Shame Feels Like: 9 People Share Their Experiences
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change.” ~Carl Rogers
My heart races as I raise my hand, eager to contribute yet terrified of the attention it brings. When the teacher picks me, the entire classroom turns toward me, putting me in the spotlight. I feel exposed. Shame floods over me like hot lava, twisting my stomach into knots and flushing my face with heat. I try desperately to stop it, but the throbbing intensity only grows.
I mutter words I can barely comprehend, feeling like a stranger in my own

Insights and Advice from a Former People-Pleaser
“I can’t give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.” ~Herbert Bayard Swope
In December 2023, my people-pleasing ways were spiralling out of control.
I found myself experiencing extreme levels of stress in my muggle job, which involves supporting a senior team and helping run a business. I would be on high alert, overly sensitive to any perceived criticism, and unable to relax and get out of my head. A classic chronic stress response.
One night I realized: I’m trying so hard to please so …

How to Get to the Amazing Life on the Other Side of Your Fears
“As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others!” ~Marianne Williamson
Have you ever felt trapped by fear, unable to break free from the shackles of insecurity and doubt? It’s a shared experience that often holds us back from living authentically and pursuing our true passions.
Fear comes in many forms—fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown. Yet, at its core, fear is a prison of our own making, constructed from limiting beliefs and negative self-talk.
But what if I told you that confronting your fears could lead to liberation? What if

3 Simple Words to Help You Feel Present, Grounded, and Nourished
“The little things? They’re not little.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn
Remember Halloween, 2018? No? We wouldn’t, either, except that it happens to be the day our mindfulness journey—and our lives—changed forever.
First, some background. We (Deborah and Willow) met when our boys played on the same fifth-grade soccer team. We connected quickly through our shared love of books, writing, dogs, hiking, and strong coffee.
Something else we had in common: We were both failed meditators. To be honest, we were a bit embarrassed that we couldn’t make a mindfulness practice stick.
Thank Goodness We WEREN’T Paying Attention
Now, back to the story. …

How I Broke Free from My Toxic Need to Achieve
“If it’s out of your hands, it deserves freedom from your mind too.” ~ Ivan Nuru
“Honey, we’re gonna call you an ambulance.”
The woman on the other end of the phone at the hospital call center sounded stern as I lay on my bathroom floor in my robe, writhing in pain, barely able to speak.
I never knew you could hyperventilate from pain, I remember thinking.
It was December, and I’d just returned home from a stressful international work trip with jet lag and exhaustion as my souvenirs. The sensitive, introverted parts of myself I normally shoved under the …