The Real Luxuries in Life
How to Start Saying No When You’re Afraid of Disapproval
“Sometimes what you’re most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.” ~Robert Tew
When I say that my need for people to like me has been one of the hidden rulers of my life, I’m not kidding!
Ever since I was a kid, I wanted everyone to like me, and I had significant anxiety if they didn’t. My fear of the disapproval of others quietly lurked beneath the surface like a shadow under my skin, dictating my behavior and my mood.
I was so afraid of the disapproval of others that I would ruminate over …
How I Found the Good Within the Difficult
“Inner strengths are the supplies you’ve got in your pack as you make your way down the twisting and often hard road of life.” ~Rick Hanson
“I had a rough day. Can we talk?” I asked my husband in 2015 after coming home from work. He nodded, and we sat down on the couch.
I continued: “I got really challenging performance feedback from my manager today. It was hard to hear because I know it’s true.”
It was the most significant critical feedback I had received at once. All afternoon, I’d ruminated on the conversation. I had sat in the …
How to Wake Up from the Painful Trance of Unworthiness
“When we experience our lives through this lens of personal insufficiency, we are imprisoned in what I call the trance of unworthiness. Trapped in this trance, we are unable to perceive the truth of who we really are.” ~Tara Brach
Breaking free from the trance of unworthiness is a key part of our evolution process, both at an individual and collective level.
Let me explain why.
What I observe with clients and what resonates with my own experiences is that most (if not all) triggers, limitations we impose on ourselves, and fears of failure or success stem from a deep …
4 Tips for Failing Better in Your Spiritual Practice
“Ever tried, ever failed, no matter. Try again, fail again, fail better.” ~Samuel Beckett
I felt an enormous sense of relief when I discovered that he was a total mess! I’m talking about one of the most revered Buddhist monks of our time. I learned this from a short autobiography, A Mountain in Tibet: A Monk’s Journey. It was written by the current abbot of the Kagyu Samye Ling Tibetan Buddhist monastery in Scotland (UK), Yeshe Losal Riponche.
Having escaped from his war-torn home country (Tibet) and after much other trauma, he found himself in the West, entirely immersed …
4 Practical Techniques to Heal from Childhood Trauma
“It is important for people to know that no matter what lies in their past, they can overcome the dark side and press on to a brighter world.” ~Dave Pelzer, A Child Called “It”
I grew up in the shadow of my pathologically narcissistic father. From a very young age, my role in the family was that of the scapegoat, a role that poisoned my entire childhood. I lived in a constant state of fear, shame, and self-doubt, always trying to please my father and earn his love and approval.
But as I grew older and began to understand …
How I Found Purpose When I Lost It at Work
“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” ~Fyodor Dostoyevsky
When I was in my last semester of college in 2016, I got my first paid job working in libraries as a children’s library assistant. I can remember the passion and sense of purpose I initially felt when taking this job. The idea that, every day, I’d be helping foster a love of reading in kids felt like a worthwhile career.
Reading supports cognitive development in children. It enhances language skills and improves concentration. It encourages
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