Posts tagged with “accept”
4 Ways We Resist Life and Cause Ourselves Pain (And How to Stop)
“When fear wakes up inside, and there is no place to run away or hide from it, consider it a gift. In all the glory of that discomfort, know there is refuge in surrender.” ~Erin Lanahan
When I was a freshman in college, I had a wise English teacher. Through everything he taught, he would always circle back to the theme that “life is a constant cycle of tension and release.”
I heard him say these words over and over, but I didn’t really listen. I wasn’t ready to yet. Still, this simple message always stuck in my memory.
I …
Why Happiness Means Letting Go of the Life You Imagined
“Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is.” ~Mandy Hale
As a child, you imagine (with much excitement!) the life that you are determined to have as you grow up.
The life that you are meant to have.
We have expectations. Lots of them. Only reality doesn’t always quite match up.
Life twists and turns, changing direction to forge new paths, and things happen that don’t match the idealized playbook in our head.
Some of these things are good; some are not so good.…
When It’s Time to Let Go: The Freedom of Accepting What Can’t Be Changed
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” ~Helen Keller
Years ago, a friend had a small party for her son’s fifth birthday. I was expecting to spend most of the party talking to the other adults. But that’s not what happened. Instead, at the insistence of my friend’s son, I spent most of the party entertaining him and the other children.
Occasionally, I would escape to the living room to talk to the other adults. But …
Who Says We Have To Be Happy All the Time?
“Develop a mind that is vast like the water, where experiences both pleasant and unpleasant can appear and disappear without conflict, struggle, or harm. Rest in a mind like vast water.” ~Buddha
When I think about having to be happy all of the time, I feel a certain kind of pressure. Sure, it’s different now then it was. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t cycles when I question everything.
Sometimes I can catch myself thinking that everything would magically fall into place if I had all the success I want in my career, the happily-ever-after relationship without any issues, or …
We Deserve Love Even When We Do Things We Regret
“You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brené Brown
Do you have parts of yourself that you’d like to change? Maybe even parts of your personality you’re a little embarrassed by?
I do.
And if I started to list them I probably wouldn’t know where to stop.
I can be a complainer and whiner. Even worse, I sometimes turn into a martyr and feel sorry for myself. Other times I’m overly impulsive and have been known to have a really erratic temper.
But the thing is, we’re not our behavior. Often …
Letting Go of Attachment: From A to Zen
“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” ~Dalai Lama
If there’s one thing we all have in common, it’s that we want to feel happy; and on the other side of that coin, we want to avoid hurting. Yet we consistently put ourselves in situations that set us up for pain.
We pin our happiness to people, circumstances, and things and hold onto them for dear life. We stress about the possibility of losing them when something seems amiss. Then we often get stuck in …
A Simple Practice to Appreciate Our Bodies, Flaws and All
“Who does not thank for little does not thank for much.” ~Estonian Proverb
I remember the moment so well: I had been seeing a new guy for a few months and I was staying the night for the first time. Up until that point he hadn’t seen me without heavy makeup, as I was careful to always look completely put together while with him.
That night I had to make a decision.
I could fall asleep with my makeup still on, or I could remove it first. Did I feel comfortable enough to let him see me without foundation, eyeliner, …
Why We Should Accept Our Foes and Adversaries
“Happiness can exist only in acceptance.” ~George Orwell
Reading the above title, you may be thinking, “Why should I accept people who are trying to harm or cause me trouble? They are the last people I would want to accept!” I know I used to feel that way.
It’s clearly unnerving to think about accepting those that we feel are toxic, and even more challenging to do so.
However, when I look back, I now realize that I suffered unnecessarily from my refusal to accept such people, both in terms of greater personal anguish and poorer results.
This became …
How Accepting the “Bad” Can Lead to Joy and Growth
“The main affliction of our modern civilization is that we don’t know how to handle the suffering inside us and we try to cover it up with all kinds of consumption.” ~Thich Nhat Hạnh
Since I was little, I’ve been taught to avoid what’s “bad” and move toward what’s “good.”
Growing up, my mom would work day and night not only to support me and my little brother with the basic necessities, but to give us a “good” life.
She loved us, so naturally she wanted to support us and to give us happiness, and …
Accepting Delays and Appreciating the Gift of Empty Time
“Always say ‘yes’ to the present moment… Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life and see how life starts suddenly to start working for you rather than against you.” ~Eckhart Tolle
A few weeks ago I had a soccer game about a half-hour away from my house, in the middle of nowhere.
Grumbling about the heat and the length of the game, I walked down to the field where my team was seated under a tent. In truth, I love playing soccer, but for some reason I was annoyed at how big a chunk of my day it took.…
How Self-Awareness Can Help Us Love People Just as They Are
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~C.G. Jung
We were visiting my parents’ place in the woods for the weekend. I unlocked the door to the cabin and flipped the switch. The lights didn’t come on, so I began rapidly flipping other switches. I hollered at my husband to come have a look.
He walked to the breaker box in the back. I heard popping as he flipped them on and off. He shouted every so often, “Try the front room!” I reported back, “Nope.”
“Try the bedroom!” I reported back again, …
How to Make Anxiety Work for You, Not Against You
“Growth begins when we start to accept our own weakness.” ~Jean Vanier
I got fired from my job, my boyfriend left me, and my father died in one day.
In reality, my career was going super well, I didn’t have a boyfriend, and my father was amazingly healthy, but what I did have was something I call an ultra amazing imagination, where I would make up fascinating stories about things that could happen and worry about them. (Or as other people call it, general anxiety disorder.)
I met my now BFF anxiety when I was about ten years old. Initially, …
Learn To Flourish When You Are Not In Control
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” ~Steve Maraboli
On December 31, 2011 I experienced something I will never be able to blink away. I watched as my twelve-year-old daughter convulsed, turned blue, and stopped breathing on the floor of our living room.
Time stood still. I heard my blood whoosh through my ears. I became a helpless observer. This simply couldn’t be happening to us; she was fine only a moment ago.
I remember the exact moment when I …
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