Posts tagged with “accept”
Who Says We Have To Be Happy All the Time?
“Develop a mind that is vast like the water, where experiences both pleasant and unpleasant can appear and disappear without conflict, struggle, or harm. Rest in a mind like vast water.” ~Buddha
When I think about having to be happy all of the time, I feel a certain kind of pressure. Sure, it’s different now then it was. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t cycles when I question everything.
Sometimes I can catch myself thinking that everything would magically fall into place if I had all the success I want in my career, the happily-ever-after relationship without any issues, or …
We Deserve Love Even When We Do Things We Regret
“You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brené Brown
Do you have parts of yourself that you’d like to change? Maybe even parts of your personality you’re a little embarrassed by?
I do.
And if I started to list them I probably wouldn’t know where to stop.
I can be a complainer and whiner. Even worse, I sometimes turn into a martyr and feel sorry for myself. Other times I’m overly impulsive and have been known to have a really erratic temper.
But the thing is, we’re not our behavior. Often …
Letting Go of Attachment: From A to Zen
“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” ~Dalai Lama
If there’s one thing we all have in common, it’s that we want to feel happy; and on the other side of that coin, we want to avoid hurting. Yet we consistently put ourselves in situations that set us up for pain.
We pin our happiness to people, circumstances, and things and hold onto them for dear life. We stress about the possibility of losing them when something seems amiss. Then we often get stuck in …
A Simple Practice to Appreciate Our Bodies, Flaws and All
“Who does not thank for little does not thank for much.” ~Estonian Proverb
I remember the moment so well: I had been seeing a new guy for a few months and I was staying the night for the first time. Up until that point he hadn’t seen me without heavy makeup, as I was careful to always look completely put together while with him.
That night I had to make a decision.
I could fall asleep with my makeup still on, or I could remove it first. Did I feel comfortable enough to let him see me without foundation, eyeliner, …
Why We Should Accept Our Foes and Adversaries
“Happiness can exist only in acceptance.” ~George Orwell
Reading the above title, you may be thinking, “Why should I accept people who are trying to harm or cause me trouble? They are the last people I would want to accept!” I know I used to feel that way.
It’s clearly unnerving to think about accepting those that we feel are toxic, and even more challenging to do so.
However, when I look back, I now realize that I suffered unnecessarily from my refusal to accept such people, both in terms of greater personal anguish and poorer results.
This became …
How Accepting the “Bad” Can Lead to Joy and Growth
“The main affliction of our modern civilization is that we don’t know how to handle the suffering inside us and we try to cover it up with all kinds of consumption.” ~Thich Nhat Hạnh
Since I was little, I’ve been taught to avoid what’s “bad” and move toward what’s “good.”
Growing up, my mom would work day and night not only to support me and my little brother with the basic necessities, but to give us a “good” life.
She loved us, so naturally she wanted to support us and to give us happiness, and …
Accepting Delays and Appreciating the Gift of Empty Time
“Always say ‘yes’ to the present moment… Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life and see how life starts suddenly to start working for you rather than against you.” ~Eckhart Tolle
A few weeks ago I had a soccer game about a half-hour away from my house, in the middle of nowhere.
Grumbling about the heat and the length of the game, I walked down to the field where my team was seated under a tent. In truth, I love playing soccer, but for some reason I was annoyed at how big a chunk of my day it took.…
How Self-Awareness Can Help Us Love People Just as They Are
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~C.G. Jung
We were visiting my parents’ place in the woods for the weekend. I unlocked the door to the cabin and flipped the switch. The lights didn’t come on, so I began rapidly flipping other switches. I hollered at my husband to come have a look.
He walked to the breaker box in the back. I heard popping as he flipped them on and off. He shouted every so often, “Try the front room!” I reported back, “Nope.”
“Try the bedroom!” I reported back again, …
How to Make Anxiety Work for You, Not Against You
“Growth begins when we start to accept our own weakness.” ~Jean Vanier
I got fired from my job, my boyfriend left me, and my father died in one day.
In reality, my career was going super well, I didn’t have a boyfriend, and my father was amazingly healthy, but what I did have was something I call an ultra amazing imagination, where I would make up fascinating stories about things that could happen and worry about them. (Or as other people call it, general anxiety disorder.)
I met my now BFF anxiety when I was about ten years old. Initially, …
Learn To Flourish When You Are Not In Control
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” ~Steve Maraboli
On December 31, 2011 I experienced something I will never be able to blink away. I watched as my twelve-year-old daughter convulsed, turned blue, and stopped breathing on the floor of our living room.
Time stood still. I heard my blood whoosh through my ears. I became a helpless observer. This simply couldn’t be happening to us; she was fine only a moment ago.
I remember the exact moment when I …
The Pain Won’t Stop Until You Accept What Is
“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.” ~Sonia Ricotti
Life is sometimes ridiculously hard. It sucks. It rips out your heart and your entrails, spins them around the room, and stuffs them back in unceremoniously through the hole from which they were ripped.
And it expects you to smile and carry on. People expect you to carry on. Because that is what we think people do.
I felt like this a few years ago when my marriage ended. Luckily, I had good people around me. They didn’t expect that from me.
I, …
What to Do When Things Go Wrong and You Feel Sorry for Yourself
“We can always choose to perceive things differently. We can focus on what’s wrong in our life, or we can focus on what’s right.” ~Marianne Williamson
I was down in the dumps the other day and was feeling sorry for myself.
For some reason everything was just off. You know when you have one of those days when nothing seems to go right? And you get easily irritated and extra sensitive with everything?
It all began the night before. I was expecting a call from a guy who I’ve been getting to know. He said he was going to call …
How Losing All Hope Can Be Freedom
“Losing all hope was freedom.” ~Edward Norton in Fight Club
We naturally think of hope as a positive thing, as we do freedom, but this quote says that losing hope brings freedom. It may seem contradictory, but losing hope has been my most unexpected lifesaver.
My Mental Breakdown
I struggled with severe anxiety four years ago. The onset was abrupt.
Until I was twenty-five, I was the healthiest person I knew. I never got sick, would play basketball six hours straight, and always felt great. That changed suddenly in 2011.
I woke up one morning with an itchy spot on …
5 Love Lessons to Help Your Relationship Thrive
“Some people come into your life as blessings. Others come into your life as lessons.” ~Mother Teresa
Going by experience, I should have been petrified of men and marriage.
Forced into an arranged marriage at twenty, something that is common in India, it took me over a decade to draw up the courage to leave a toxic, abusive situation and to chart my own path in a conservative society, with two little kids to fend for.
But due to an inner conviction in the workings of a larger universe, I somehow made it through with my sense of wonder (and …
You Were (and Are) More Beautiful Than You Think
“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” ~Kahlil Gibran
Does a loved one have a favorite photo of you? A photo by their bedside or on their screensaver that reminds them of a special time and place and memory?
Can I also hazard a guess that this isn’t your favorite photo of yourself? I bet you look at yourself critically and dislike how your face looks, or maybe your body is not cast in its most flattering light. I was reminded of this recently, and it made me think of how I view photos …
Stop Trying to Blend In: The Simple Secret to Being Yourself
“Be yourself—not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.” ~Henry David Thoreau
How many times have people told you to just be yourself? A million times perhaps.
How many times have you felt able to do this?
Until a few months ago, I thought this was frighteningly hollow advice, like “Don’t worry.” And I had no clue how to be myself. What does it even mean?
The Simple Secret to Being Yourself
My friend continuously tells me that being yourself means doing things you want to do and not caring about what others …
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