Posts tagged with “accept”

The Path to Freedom: Facing Painful Thoughts and Feelings

“Life is an endless process of self-discovery.” ~James Gardner

My thoughts lately have been so hurtful.

Things like: I’m not a good writer. I’m ugly. I’m stupid.

I’m not funny. I can’t carry a meaningful conversation. I’ll never be special.

The world is out to get me. People take advantage of me. I’m boring and don’t matter.

Like I said, hurtful. Crippling, demoralizing thoughts. One not-so-nice thing after another, and it makes me want to cry.

Why the pain? Why the negative thoughts? Well, recently I spent two weeks playing a video game. From the time I walked through …

How to Handle Life: Get Out of Your Critical Head

By Rebecca Storch

“Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

There was a time when I lived almost completely inside myself. I couldn’t handle much of the outside world.

Yes, I am an introvert, but back then, I had such low self-esteem that the only place I felt safe was inside my own head. I had a low tolerance for problems and mistakes. I was life intolerant.

Yet, my inner world wasn’t exactly a peaceful sanctuary; it was a cold, discomforting, and harsh place to be. Mainly because I was fat. Or so I thought. I …

How to Cope When People Disappoint You

By Anonymous

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” ~Alexander Pope

Growing up, I had a wonderful relationship with my mother. We did all the usual mother-daughter things together—went shopping, had brunch—and we supported each other when my father left.

In 2011, I was happily pregnant. I felt supported by my family and ready to take on motherhood. My husband and I were elated by the birth of our little boy.

It’s fair to say that I may have been a little naïve about what was to come. I knew it would be hard work, but I …

We All Deserve to Receive What We Need (and It’s Not Selfish)

By Lizzy Doole

“We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving…Accepting another person’s gift is allowing him to express his feelings for you.” ~Alexander McCall Smith

We all know the importance of giving. In fact, it feels rather nice to give to others; we have all experienced that warm glow in the stomach when we do something thoughtful for another person or exchange kind words. To make someone smile is one of the best feelings in the world.

But sometimes, do we get so caught up in …

Radically Accept What Is Instead of Labeling it “Good” or “Bad”

By Mallie Rydzik

“The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom.” ~Tara Brach

I was in the heart of my Ph.D. program when I received the diagnoses: OCD, depression, and binge eating disorder.

It explained a lot, of course. All those years of anxiety, self-doubt, and intrusive thoughts were not normal after all. Eating to the point of gaining forty pounds in a few months was foreign to most people.

I wanted an explanation. Why me?

I had done everything right: I made a decent living, I was kind to everyone, and I was presenting my scientific …

How to Let Go of Expectations: Lessons from My Dog

By Andrea Still

“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” ~Tom Robbins

Have you ever finally gotten something you longed for only to find that things didn’t work out as expected?

I know I have.

I firmly believed that having a dog was the answer to some of my desires, such as having more meaning in my life and receiving love on demand from another life.

I bought into irrefutable sayings like, “Dogs love unconditionally,” and, “Dogs are man’s best friend,” and, “Dogs are loyal.”

As it turns out, the reality can be very different. And yes, those …

You Are Not Your Thoughts and Feelings, and They Don’t Have to Bring You Down

By Greer Parry

“Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. ” ~Reinhold Niebuhr

Think about the future! Don’t do something you’ll regret! You need to plan for tomorrow! I wish I hadn’t done that! Will things ever work out? Why did they do that? Will I ever find happiness? Why has life made me the way I am? What’s wrong with me?

Around and around it went inside my mind, a never-ending internal conversation full of questions and uncertainties—the not knowing driving me insane …

Do You Think You Need to Be Perfect to Be Accepted?

By Jessica Jimenez

“What you resist, persists.” ~C.G. Jung

There it is: Perfection, Eureka!—the holy grail of achievement, like an elusive mirage in the middle of a desert or that pesky little pot of gold we are always hunting for at the end of the rainbow, purring with all of its possibilities, protection, and promise.

Yet, despite its charm and the value we tend to assign to the trait, as well as on those who possess it, perfectionism ultimately leads to the same destination. In striving for perfection, we may soon find ourselves disappointed, dissatisfied, and even sometimes, knee-deep in suffering and denial, …

When You’re Hurting and Healing: Give Yourself a Break

By Sarah Rouse

“Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress, which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.” ~Unknown

Often these days, I would like nothing more than to move forward. If I could only figure out which way was forward, I would definitely start heading in that direction. If you couldn’t already tell, I’m going through a break-up, the most major break-up of my life so far.

Again, I’m often disappointed that if I were to check a box to describe my “relationship status” it would most likely be “It’s complicated.”…

Why You Don’t Need to Eliminate Self-Doubt and Fear

By Maxine Schiffmann

“The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow.” ~Unknown

Self-doubt has been a companion that has followed me around like a trained dog follows his master. Every step I’ve made outside of my comfort zone, it’s been there, right beside me.

Moving from Germany to England to attend high school, I was full of high hopes and aspirations. But despite my intensive English course and hard work, I could hardly understand anyone in the first few weeks.

Feeling left high and dry by my so-called “English skills,” I …

3 Surefire Ways to Embrace Being Different

By Nicole Knox-Gray

“To be nobody but yourself in a world doing its best to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human can ever fight and never stop fighting.” ~e.e. cummings

I’m gay. I’m married to a woman and we have a beautiful daughter together. I also have an ex–boyfriend that I was with for quite a significant time. Most of my friends are straight, and I thought I was too until about five years ago when I fell in love with my now-wife.

It was a crazy time, and I suddenly had to deal with being different…

A Mindful Way to Find Relief from the Pain of Envy

By Kelly Martin

“The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow.” ~Unknown

Envy is such an overpowering and overwhelming feeling, often something hidden, or masked by a smiley face, or fuelled into rage and resentment. I’ve experienced all of these emotions in my life, and as I neared my fortieth birthday, I felt that I could not go on. I was crippled by the “envy story” stuck on repeat mode inside my mind.

As I watched friends and family swoop by me in terms of outer achievements and success, the envy …

From Loathing to Love: What Makes Us Feel Worthwhile

By Mary-Elizabeth Schurrer

“Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.” ~Unknown

My healing journey can be described through what I call the “self formula”:

Self-Doubt > Self-Loathing > Self-Destruction > Self-Awareness > Self-Love

Mine is the oldest story in the book. Adolescent angst. Mental deception. Physical revulsion. I feel fat. No, scratch that. I am fat. This girl in the mirror is ruining my life. Woe is me.

Groundbreaking drama, right? How original of me to “feel fat.” Surely, you’ve never heard that complaint before.

Except it wasn’t just a complaint. I …

When We Try to Change Others and Avoid Ourselves

By Michelle D'Avella

“I’ve discovered that you can’t change people. They can change themselves.” ~Jim Rohn

This is indeed a fact—a fact I took a long time to learn.

You may argue that we help each other change, and it’s true. But the deepest truth is that only we are responsible for our own growth.

The most difficult work is the seemingly minuscule shift from resistance to willingness, which allows us to face the difficult things we’ve been hiding from, and only we can do this for ourselves.

I had boyfriends who had issues. One of them lacked ambition; he was already lost …

Accepting Things for What They Are Instead of Resisting Change

By Angie Sarhan

“What we see is mainly what we look for.” ~Unknown

Years ago I was fortunate enough to travel on a Mediterranean cruise. I had just graduated from college and was in that difficult transition stage where I didn’t know what would come next. I was looking to relax, but also hoping that some soul searching would lead to clarity, epiphanies, and answers.

One day I thought I found them on the island of Santorini, Greece.

Between the blinding whites, the sapphire blues, the sun-kissed streets, and the black-sand beaches, I felt like I had been dropped in a utopia.

There, …

The Key to Happiness: Accept Yourself & Stop Seeking Approval

By Steph

“Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation, then deciding what you’re going to do about it.” ~Kathleen Casey Thiesen

I think many of us get caught in a vicious cycle of thinking that leads us to believe we can only be happy if we gain acceptance from others. We think to ourselves, “The only way I can ever love myself is if others do.”

This leads us down a path of self-deprecation and hopelessness. We end up making decisions purely for the sake of gaining approval and acceptance, when really we should make decisions …

When Someone Blames You: How to Cope with Misdirected Anger

By Kelly Smith

“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” ~Robert Brault

My ex-boyfriend is angry with me.

I met him soon after he had broken up with his then fiancée, and he thought he was ready to move on, but wasn’t. After many months of messing me about, we ended it. I cut off contact because it still hurt me and I still cared for him.

Eventually, I wrote to him to see if I could get some closure and to consider if we could salvage a friendship. His reply was scathing, vitriolic, angry. He blamed …

Why We Don’t Need to Feel Bad About Feeling Bad

By Andrea Ulrich

“Feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go.” ~Mooji

I once thought that the goal of meditation was to reach a state of constant positivity, a natural euphoria in which a person simply does not get angry or depressed.

I think that a lot of people begin practicing meditation thinking that their teacher has reached this euphoric state of being. I have learned, though, that these negative feelings are never permanently banished from anyone’s mind.

As someone that has been struggling with anxiety and depression disorders since early childhood, I turned to meditation as a teenager as a …

The One Thing You Need to Change If You Want to Accept Yourself

By Francesca Harris

“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” ~Unknown

I quit Weight Watchers this week and I have never felt happier.

To be clear, quitting this weight loss program was not an act of defeat, nor was it an example of me running away from something difficult or painful. Cutting ties with Weight Watchers was truly an acceptance of self.

A couple of weeks ago I had a heart-to-heart conversation with a friend. I was feeling really down, and I confided to him that not only do I lack self-confidence in nearly everything I do, I also seem to not …