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3 Reasons to Stop Worrying About Your Negative Thoughts

Deep in Thought

“Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Do you ever catch yourself being critical, judgmental, or full of fear and worry? And do you ever worry about how many negative thoughts you have? If you do, then this post is for you.

We’re taught that negative thoughts are bad, that they’re “toxic,” they “lower your vibration,” keep you stuck, and so on.

We’re taught that in order to feel self-assured and confident, we should banish negative thoughts from our lives. Kind of like, goodbye negative thoughts, hello higher vibration, better boyfriend, nicer car, inner peace, and so on.

So what do you do with all that negative junk in your head? How do you make it stop? And is trying to jam a positive thought over a negative one really the best way to manage the situation?

The reason I’m thinking about this today is that it’s 7:30am and for the past three hours I’ve been watching Mad Men. Yep. Instead of setting myself up for the day with a restful sleep, I’ve been watching T.V. for half the night.

To be fair, it’s an unusual thing for me to do, but still, you should hear the rubbish my mind is telling me:

You’re such a lazy little missy. 

You’re going to have a bad day.

You’re not going to get anywhere like this. 

Yikes.

People often advise you to trade a negative thought for a positive one using techniques like affirmations. Quick, quell those negative thoughts! But is this really the best way forward?

Most people misunderstand this whole negative thinking debacle because they misunderstand what thoughts are in the first place.

Happiness doesn’t depend on how few negative thoughts you have, but on what you do with the ones you have.

This brings me to the first piece of good news:

1. It’s normal to have negative thoughts.

The human mind thinks about a squillion thoughts every day, and on average about a squillion minus a hundred are negative. It’s true. I Googled it.

Most of us are awash with negative thoughts. Even ones that seem positive, like I’m so great because I just got a new car, are really only negative ones in disguise, since they reinforce the belief you weren’t great before you got the new car.

And that’s the good news—negative thoughts are a normal part of human functioning. 

This means you don’t have to worry about the fact that you’re having them in the first place. No matter how gnarly they get, it’s all pretty normal.

This brings me to the second piece of good news:

2. You don’t have to believe your negative thoughts!

Nope.

You don’t actually have to believe your thoughts. It’s as simple as that. Sort of. No, it is, but let me explain.

Your mind would like you to believe that all of your thoughts are correct. One of the ways it does this is by having you think that you and it are one. The truth is your mind is just one part of you; it isn’t you.

Being able to separate your thoughts from your sense of self is one of the most useful things you can do. Try this: think of yourself as being made up of four parts.

  1. Mind
  2. Physical body
  3. Heart
  4. Spiritual aspect

This means: You. Are. Not Your. Mind. Your mind is just a tool for you to use.

All of your thoughts and perceptions are filtered through your unique belief system, and it’s this filter that causes negative thoughts. The negativity is in the filter. 

When you try to “heal” and “grow,” what you’re trying to do is change the filter; you’re trying to change your belief system. You are the bit underneath your thoughts, and you will never change. You can’t—nor would you want to. You’re perfect.

You don’t have to analyze your nasty critical thoughts or worry about them. They’re just thoughts. If you really want to have fewer of them, stop listening to them.

Feeling solidly peaceful and contented occurs when your mind is quiet, or in the moments, no matter how small, when you remember that you don’t have to believe your thoughts. 

Or as I like to say ”I don’t feel badly; my mind does!”

One thing I find helpful for dealing with a long held critical belief is to treat it like a game.

I think to myself, what if I didn’t believe this, even for a few seconds? The result is always strangely exhilarating. I can actually feel what it’s like to not believe it. (And sometimes it does only last for a few seconds!)

So what about thinking positively—that’s good for me right? 

Sure, but the trick is in how you go about it, which is the third piece of good news: 

3. You can get positive about negative thoughts.

There’s nothing wrong with choosing to have a positive thought. Just know that the negative thought didn’t matter in the first place. It probably wasn’t true and it doesn’t “mean” things about you.

When you jump on “negative” thoughts and reject them in a knee-jerk way, you’re saying to yourself, “I’m not good enough. If I were good enough, I wouldn’t have had that thought in the first place.”

This is at least as negative as the initial thought.

It may seem a subtle difference, but that tiny step of noticing the thought and not believing it is where the growth lies. And the more you do this, the less “negative thoughts” you have and the easier it is to recognize them when you have them.

People think that “thinking positively” is the way to healing, but the quickest way is to first accept that the only reason you feel bad in the first place is because you’re listening to the rubbish your mind is telling you.

You could try and figure out where your negative thoughts come from—but since they’re just based on faulty beliefs, why not just ignore them?

Learning to ignore the voice inside our head telling us we’re not good enough, not worthy of love, and so on is what we’re here to do. Next time you have a thought that makes you feel uneasy, try this: 

Notice your thought, as in, ah, hello thought. I know you’re not real; you are just a thought. Oh well, you can stay there if you like, but I have things to do today so I’m just going to go ahead and do them. 

Then if you want to think a positive thought, go right ahead!

And as for me I’m headed to the kitchen to make porridge after which you’ll probably find me tucked up on the sofa having a nap.

Oh well.

Photo by mi55er

Avatar of Lisa Esile

About Lisa Esile

Lisa is the author of "7 Secrets Your Mind Doesn't Want You To Know" which you can download for free at her website. Lisa grew up in New Zealand and now lives in Venice, California with her husband.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/adam.prieto.7 Adam Prieto

    Thank you so much for this post, Lisa! I find myself inside my head so much throughout the day. I’m often convinced to believe such false ideas since I sometimes look at those ideas with eyes of the past. I’m defiantly going to try and utilize your tips. Thanks again! :)

  • Red Janssens

    1) excellent post! Its as if the universe dropped this on me at just the right moment for it to be super relevant ans helpful! :) and 2) excellent use of the word “gnarly” haha! Namaste!!

  • KR

    I have a question I would love to get others’ feedback on, though. What if we really did something wrong, say, hurt someone, either intentionally or intentionally, and our mind keeps telling us that we did something wrong, are not worthy of love, etc.? For example, I know someone who keeps hurting his family, beats his wife and does not take care of his children. Should he dismiss his negative thoughts, too, even though it looks like he is not conscious of the extent to which he’s causing them to suffer? In this case, do we not need those negative thoughts to get us back on the right track, to change for the better?

  • indu

    thanks a lot for ur such a great thought,its actully meant for me………..

  • Lisa Esile

    Thanks Red! Pleased you enjoyed it:)

  • Lisaesile

    hi KR,

    Thanks for your question. It’s a really great one too.

    I can see where you’re coming from, however, the example you give is an example of you making a judgment of someone else. My advice would be to reflect on the idea using a ‘negative thought’ about yourself:)

    Thanks again,
    Lisa

  • Lisaesile

    Thanks Adam – yes it’s easy to do, I agree!

    I was reading a book the other day that beautifully described the human tendency to see things, as you say, ‘with eyes of the past,’ without realizing it. The author, Henri Bortoft, called it “the transparency of the mind.” (In his book ‘The Wholeness of Nature’ about Goethe’s). I love that. Transparent is right! Thanks again:) Lisa

  • Lisaesile

    My pleasure. I’m pleased it struck a chord:)

  • http://www.podroznystudio.com/ Melissa

    Thank you. Too often we focus on “OMG!Must get rid of all bad thoughts ever!” and don’t realize that what we should really be doing is not fighting ourselves to get rid of them, but not letting them control us. It is all too easy for the “Must get rid of negative thoughts” to become “I’m a terrible person because I had a negative thought” which is, in itself, a negative thought, and heading into a downward spiral.

  • Lisaesile

    Exactly!

  • Jay

    This helped me tons . Thanks .

  • Susie

    I loved this!! Thank you so much – I struggle with doubting my decisions and second guessing myself all the time. I love the simplicity of your suggestions and the light touch you gave.
    Thank you so much for your insights and for sharing it!

  • kiw

    Thank you so much- this was incredibly helpful, exactly what I needed right now and probably have needed for the past few years. Thank you thank you thank you! Hope you have a wonderful day!

  • Phil Bennett

    I’m surprised there was no mention of meditation in this post. It’s through meditation and mindfulness that we train our awareness to more easily recognize and release these thoughts.

  • Lisaesile

    And a wonderful day to you too! Thanks so much for your note:)

  • Lisaesile

    Hi Susie,
    Great to hear it resonated with you! Thanks so much for your comment:)

  • Lisaesile

    Excellent! My pleasure:)

  • http://twitter.com/EIWoontner Elena Iglio Woontner

    Best post I read in a Long Long While.

  • Lisaesile

    Hi Phil,
    Thanks for your comment. I agree that practicing meditation and mindfulness can help us notice our thoughts more easily – though they’re not the only ways (I’m also a big fan of being silent and actively ‘doing nothing’). This article didn’t include that side of things because I wanted to make the point as clearly and simply as I could, that “negative thoughts, in and of themselves aren’t bad.” I think this understanding is useful whether we’re ‘meditators’ or not. :))

  • Lisaesile

    :) Pleased to hear this resonated with you.

  • Amna

    Needed this today :) After a year of ‘healing’ and ‘growing’, I can have some wonderfully clear days where thoughts (both positive and the million negative) can pass by like clouds. That’s when it’s crystal clear that these thoughts don’t actually matter. Then there are other days where ‘oh no, I’m having negative thoughts, I’m not ‘fixed’ yet!’ is the background narrative in my head. I try to go about my day and remember the days and moments when I chose not to believe in my thoughts as a way to remind myself. The good news is that yes it does get better. Or at least you get good at not latching onto the negative talk in the head. Also, the momentum of negative thoughts also reduces somewhat. I’m excited about my present and look forward to my future :)

  • dee

    I am fairly new to this site. I have read many posts on here none of which resonated with me on the level that your post did. It was truly mesmerising and hit the nail right on its head. I cannot thank you enough. I am so glad you did stay awaked that night and share such indepth, unique and priceless realisations. I will take this to the grave such is the power and simplicity of expression you conveyed. THANK YOU!! and please do share some more, I could do with a daily dose of your work :)

  • Iris

    THANK YOU. From the bottom of my heart. I needed to hear this. :) And you have worded it and put it together so eloquently. Like Amna, after a growth-filled year I am really getting ahead and doing so many great things in life, but there are also so many moments when I forget to love myself and then the negative thoughts can get at me. They hurt me, make me doubt myself and my abilities and throw me into anxiety attacks.
    Just lately I realised I’d got deeper into this when I started being disappointed about myself because I think negatively and I let that run away with me. All that, when I had put so much work and learning in love-filled thinking. So this comes at just the right time for me, and in particular your line “It’s normal to have negative thoughts” gave me a real shock. I need to hold the thought in my mind for a bit more because I can’t even get my head around it properly at this moment. You mean it’s not my fault that I can’t suppress them and choose positive over negative thoughts? ;)
    All of this is so much about shedding, letting go and simply being. That message is coming to me lately from all kinds of sources. It’s probably time.
    Again, thank you so much. :)

  • Anthony

    What a great way to break down negative thoughts. This theory is similar to ‘The Secret’ portrayed by Greek Philosophy.. I am a veteran currently battling PTSD and after years of trying to figure of how to conquere this on my own I finally gave in to treatment. Unfortunately recommended for ‘medicine’ which I dont agree with taking a chemical to control my thoughts which are starting to work but I pray one day have the strength to get off them! Anyway off my soap box thanks for the wise words Lisa!

  • melhimshaker

    I’ve written your words “I don’t feel badly , my mind does ” on a paper and put it where I can always see it , It’s a relief from the talk inside my head.

  • Jorge

    Simply awesome. I’m becoming a fan of you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jmaguirewinkleman Jean Maguire Winkleman

    Thank you! Needed to hear this today as I had a run in with a colleague that undermined me and started a chain of negative thoughts running in my head. Nice to accept them and learn. Peace.

  • Lisaesile

    Thanks Jorge!

  • Lisaesile

    How cool. And do you know you’re the second person to tell me you’ve done that. Might have to try it myself! :)

  • Lisaesile

    My pleasure – pleased to hear it was timely!

  • Lisaesile

    Hi Iris, thanks so much for your comment and sharing your experience. And yes, it’s not your fault you can’t suppress them! They really are a normal part of what the mind does – the part that hurts is when we believe them. Good idea to give yourself time to wrap your head around this new idea:) Best wishes to you!

  • joe

    Hey lovely Lisa, what a great post. I just love the simplicity of your writing that somehow slaps me across the head (in a nice way of course) each time I read something of yours. This all makes so much sense and presented in this fashion also makes it easy to digest and actually implement into your daily life. Thanks again for being a fountain of inspiration :-)

  • saloni

    Hello Lisa.

    This is what i needed at the moment. I have been not keeping up with health since a very long time which kind of made me very low. I feared that its something huge and thousand more negative thoughts crossed my mind all the time. But after reading this all i can say is i feel much better. Half of the illness i had, now i think was because of my negative approach towards it.It’s strange how words can change your life. You made it possible for me. Can’t thank you enough. God Bless :)

  • Sumitha

    Love the idea of playing a game with your negative thoughts…. I’m going to try that… Team up the competitive and rational part of my brain against the negative one and let them duke it out while I try to enjoy the present :) Brilliant!

    Coincidentally, the bulk of my negative thoughts in the recent past were due to Mad Men! I discovered it on Netflix and went through 3 seasons during two weekends! I normally don’t watch much TV but this one has me hooked…. The rational part of my brain says the sooner I go through the last season(fortunately, Netflix only has 4 seasons!) the sooner I will be free to do more productive things without having to constantly fight temptation but the negative part of my brain is calling me names making it hard to enjoy watching it.

  • Lisaesile

    Hi Amna, I so enjoy hearing your story, thank you. Best wishes on your journey and with practicing ignoring the negative mind chatter!

  • Lisaesile

    Hi Sumitha – how funny to hear your experience with Mad Men! Have fun playing with your negative thoughts. It really is true that the less attention you pay them, the more they calm down! :) Best wishes.

  • Lisaesile

    It’s my pleasure! Thanks so much for your note. And I agree, it is strange how words can change your life – sometimes just the slightest shift in perception can make all the difference. I”m so pleased to hear this article was useful for you. Best wishes, Lisa.

  • Lisaesile

    Hey Joe who writes kind words! Thanks so much for your comment – great to hear you enjoyed the article:)

  • Lisaesile

    Hi Dee, thanks for your note, and it’s so my pleasure! I presume you’ve been to my website and found my book, newsletter and things?

  • Lisaesile

    Hi Anthony, thanks for your note. I haven’t heard of ‘The Secret’ that you’re referring to – will check it out. Cool. Love a new read. And if you want to email me personally there are a couple of resources I could recommend, that might be helpful. And are you familiar with the David Lynch Foundation? I noticed the other day that they have a transcendental meditation based program for veterans. Wishing you all the best.

  • lv2terp

    GREAT post!!!! I love your insight, wisdom, humor, and clear message! That is a wonderful perspective on negative thoughts. Also the message that we are made of of different parts, the mind and us are not one. Thank you! :)

  • Tammy

    Lisa, I loved this post so much that I printed it out and will be handing it out to my clients and the staff that I supervise. I am a psychotherapist who works with rape victims and survivors of various forms of sexual assault and trauma. You worded this so eloquently and in a way that anyone can understand and have an ‘ah ha!’ moment :) I teach my clients this line of thinking frequently, but seeing it in writing really gets the message across.

    Thank you!

  • Saloni

    :)

  • Barb

    Love it, thank you!!
    “Awareness is like sunlight in the fog”!!! (Jack Kornfield)

  • http://twitter.com/JantjeBartels Jantje Bartels

    Thanks, Lisa, some more fruit for thoughts! Even though I am pretty much into self improvement myself, I realize every day about how human I am despite all awareness mechanisms. I usually struggle with the second point, acceptance that those thoughts are there, but not believing in them. What helps me the most is to think of someone who is worse of than me. That gets me back on track, a bit radical, but it works, for me.

  • Katie

    Like many of the people who have already commented, this comes at such perfect timing. I don’t usually comment on posts, in fact I try and stay off too much social networking as I find it only increases self-critical thoughts, but this post and site have helped me so much. For my entire life, I tried to “think myself out of a negative thought”, replace it with a “positive affirmation” and then analyze something that really held no validity to begin with, then inevitably fall into ruminating thinking.Then I took a mindfulness class and something miraclous happened: I heard that my thoughts were not TRUE! Until then, I presumed my thoughts, even if irrational, carried some glimmer of truth, otherwise I would not have had the thought in the first place…right!? Actually, no! I have tried to become more aware of thoughts in the background and how easily they can sneak to the forefront when they trigger self doubt. I have also tried to make it a bit like a game because it can even be funny to notice the flat-out lies we tell ourselves! And then there are days where it isn’t so funny and we have to keep reminding ourselves that “I don’t feel badly. My mind (or body if I feel panicky for that matter) does!”. Thank you for this post!!

  • Lisaesile

    Hi Tammy, that’s wonderful to hear! Best wishes in your good work and thanks for saying:)

  • Lisaesile

    Thanks Barb! What a great visual – I haven’t heard that before. Nice:)

  • Rafael

    Hi…:) I have recently move in Adelaide s.a.with my lovely wife and daughter for a new beginning in life,and I find my self having negative thoughts lately something that stresses me a lot I can say…there are so many things to deal here with our new life,and thank god my wife and child help me alot in this with they’re way,but these thoughts always appear in my way and move my body sometimes in a way that I don’t want…I’ll try yr way Lisa and fingers cross I hope to get results:)thanx a lot for sharing the way to light and inner piece

  • http://oldjiveassduder.com/ oldjiveassduder

    I have gotten in to a bad habit of believing that those negative thoughts make me feel like I am here, existing. I am an artist, drawing is my happy place. Where I go to get away, to be in a judgement free zone. Where my thoughts are lurking, but do not bother me. It is sick, but I tend to like my thoughts. Viewing it at times as a self-furfilling prophecy. I have never purposely caused harm to others. I am told I am very genuine. My ex-girlfriend’s mother told me I see beauty in everything. I have been called an old soul since young. A serious man.

    At times I see how my thoughts are troublesome, but other times I feel like it is a path I am following. If I were to stop and reach that sense of tranquility now it would halt my growth. Even writing this now I see what I need to do. Maybe keep my thoughts and at the same time allow myself to view things differently, but it is not like I put a barrier between myself and those around me. It tends to feel like everything is up to me. I keep a journal, but a thought of egocentricity comes upon me. After hearing my ex-girlfriend tell me that I only love myself, the ego has become something I am aware of at all times. That statement was simply not true, I did everything for her.

    I seek to live righteous in every way possible. Sometimes I don’t see the point, but I know what I feel is so strong that I will be alright. We should not trick ourselves to being happy, is self-discovery possible if we are doing so?

  • Whitney

    Completely changed my outlook on myself and life today. Awesome article. Thank you!

  • nish

    Hy Lisa, what if negetive thoughts are killing me becouse of some guilts? how to overcome?

  • nish

    Hay Lisa what to do if negative thoughts are making me sad day by day because of some guilt’s? how to overcome it? or should i say , because of negative energy inside me these guilt’s are xpanding? if i try to be positive no guilt will harm me?

  • Karisa

    Thank you!! Sometimes its hard to admit that your not 100% positive all the time. And reading the comments its nice to know that everyone struggles sometimes!

  • Derecia Oglesby

    Great ensite on how to ignore my negative thoughts. I really needed this, this will really help me in understanding why I think on negative things in my past and present and not let it effect my future. Thanks so much!

  • ericaled

    I love this, thank you! The realization that I can take all the power away from my thoughts, if not remove the thoughts completely, has been enormously helpful.

  • Pravin Sashidharan

    Excellent article.
    “The mind is simply a tool. Negative thoughts are normal to it. I am NOT my mind” . This is a potentially life changing idea, if it is realized correctly. Thank you.

  • Lisaesile

    Hi Tammy, I’d love to follow up on your comment and wondered if you would mind emailing me – lisa at lisaesile.com? Thanks again:) I hope others found a few “a-ha” moments within the article as you suspected they might!

  • Lisaesile

    My pleasure!

  • Lisaesile

    That’s great to hear. It is a wonderful thing to realize, isn’t it? No point fighting all those thoughts, way better to take away their power by ignoring them:)

  • Akshay

    “ah, hello thought. I know you’re not real; you are just a thought. Oh well, you can stay there if you like, but I have things to do today so I’m just going to go ahead and do them.”
    Epic suggestion… gonna try this… Thanks Lisa for such a wonderful read:)

  • Razzuan Ranz

    Thank for your advice , it’s very usefull for me . I’m just 18 but i have a lot of problem with my family so i keep think negative , after i take your word as my routine . I became more relax and happy :)

  • guest

    I needed this my boyfriend is in jail wrecking my car and assaulting me but he actually went to jail for warrants because I never filed charges on the other stuff.

  • sudharson

    Hi . i had some negative thoughts which were taking me to hell. i desperately missed my girl friend and so i had those thoughts . i must thank u for changing my mind. This was the best article i ever read . Thank u soo much . even meditation could not help me .

  • yuna

    im so bothered just now and i can’t sleep i think i always have a 4 to 5 hours sleep only everyday, because i worry to much..because of my fiance,we’ve been having a long distance relationship for the past 6 months.I want to always chatting with him,sometimes im being so paranoid and i keep on thinking negative thoughts to him..but by next month we will see each other again..but were having some problem regarding of my flight..about what will come up for the approval in immigration..if i will be upload or what..negative thoughts is killing us..huhuhu…please..someone give us some advice..i love him very much….

  • linda wilkinson

    Hi my name is Linda I loved this article and felt encouraged by it I am recovering from many years of alcholism my thoughts were all negative I now take medication and will power to keep me abstinant reading helps me to focus my mind on the positive its the only way I’m looking for someone to help me with this lindaoxo123@gmail.com

  • Vimal

    Hi Lisa,

    Thanks for this beautiful post ..I’ve gone through a story from Buddha which is similar to this..Although I did that, my mind tries to forget the good ones :D and comes back to “traditional” way of believing in thoughts ..!! ..however I am happy to see such a beautiful post here …

    I am adding the story from Buddha below..Hope you already knew this:..

    Once Buddha was
    travelling with a few of his followers. While they were passing a lake, Buddha
    told one of his disciples, “I am thirsty. Do get me some water from the
    lake.”

    The disciple walked up to the lake. At that
    moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the
    water became very muddy and turbid. The disciple thought, “How can I give
    this muddy water to Buddha to drink?”

    So he came back and told Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy.
    I don’t think it is fit to drink.”

    After about half an
    hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake.

    The disciple went
    back, and found that the water was still muddy. He returned and informed Buddha
    about the same.

    After sometime, again
    Buddha asked the same disciple to go back.

    This time, the
    disciple found the mud had settled down, and the water was clean and clear. So
    he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

    Buddha looked at the
    water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said,” See what you did
    to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own –
    and you have clear water.

    Your mind is like
    that too ! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will
    settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It
    will happen. It is effortless.”

    Hope you knew this story already but maybe some others here might not know, and hope they feel good ..

    May peace be upon you ..AUM
    Namaste ..

    -Vimal.

  • Kakashi

    Awesome Awesome Awesome !!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you very much i was trying to figure out how to get out of this hell from many days and you solved it in a flash ! God bless you

  • G

    Thanks needed that today.

  • anonymous

    Thanks to drolorispiritualtemple@gmail.com for At last my happiness has been restored by a Man named Dr olori ,, my name’s are miss KIRSTEN i want every one on this site or forum to join me thank this DR olori for what he just did for me and my kids . my story goes like this i was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to Italy for a business trip where he met this prostitute who be witched he to hate me and the kids and love her only so when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy for to see that other woman. so i and my kids were now so frustrated and i was just staying with my mum and i was not be treating good because my mama got married to another man when my after my daddy death so the man she got married to was not treating i and my kids well so i was so confuse and i was searching for a way to get my husband back to me and my kids so one day as i was browsing on my computer i saw a testimony about this MAN DR olori of drolorispiritualtemple@gmail.com shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me too so i also think of give it a try at first a was scared by when i think of what me and my kids are passing through so i contact him and he told me to stay calm for just two days that my husband shall be restored to me and to my best surprise i received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and i called Dr olori and he said your problems are solved my child so this was how i get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from DR olori of drolorispiritualtemple@gmail.com i want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to olori and i will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him for help…
    Good bye

  • Μιχάλης

    Thank you very much for this post!

  • Alex

    I need this today, i cried in happiness after reading it. Thank you

  • craig

    :) you are the most wonderful person I’ve ever met or listened to recently, other than my parents :) Thank you, so much.

  • Gabriel

    You are so wise, the way you word things, like you include a relate-able example with every topic, I finally understand now. Thank you!

  • G K Patel

    hi madam , I am very depressed due to unemployment , when I saw your website comments as well as read about your books , I feels that nothing is impossible, every one can do any thing .
    so please kindly tell me some tips for success in the life…

  • Ariel

    I honestly don’t know how to thank you enough. I’ve been going through a rough time and these terrible thoughts have been invading my brain, and that would just make me worry more because I thought they had to be rooted in some type of truth. Then I would try to delve for the truth and that was just scare me even more and I’d continue this cycle of agony. This article was a huge dose of relief and peace. Its amazing to know that I’m not alone in this and that sometimes (a lot of times, really) your mind just says things that aren’t even true. Its hard to grasp at first, but it makes so much sense and helps me see more clearly. I’m going to take your words and wisdom wherever I go and try to help others as well. Thank you, thank you a thousand times over.

  • Omyx

    Lisa Esile, you are awesome! Keep doing what you’re doing :) thank you, loved your 7 Secrets Your Mind Doesn’t Want You to Know!

  • A

    Wow, wonderful article and a big big help and light shed for me. Thank you. I have way too many negative thoughts and it is very useful your revelation that they are independent of reality and our self-worth. All of your points are strong, valid and make me feel better!Great organization/writing, too!

  • priya

    hi lisa thank you so so so much now my nagitives are going far away from me

  • Lucia

    How about the law of attraction?? This is the reason I am scared of my unwanted thoughts, and the reason I have OCD. I get a lot of anxiety thinking that I am attracting this things that i imagine and it really make me anxious.

  • Raghav

    i hav read a lot of things like this n i today i read urs…hmm in my case i think all the time and usually find solutions to make myself okay..but i m never able to implement it..hav no control..

  • Ramkumar

    Hi,
    What I understand from the article is that, one has the power to decide on whether to act on the thoughts which comes into mind (whether it is +ve or -ve). But I could not exactly get the line “You are not your mind”, since so many other books, articles, scriptures say otherwise like
    i) You are what you think you are
    ii) You cannot act in a way that is inconsistent with the way you see yourselves
    iii) The mind is everything. What we think, we become

    The last one is from tinybuddha (one of buddha’s saying). So could you explain what they mean by those quotes/saying and what you mean.

  • Andrew

    my thoughts keep targeting people I’m close to and I have that OCD that my thoughts will create reality, I get so paranoid and stressed out thinking my thoughts will come true

  • Niti

    Hi Lisa, just loved your article.

    Can you please explain this sentence in detail, I didn’t get it correctly?

    When you jump on “negative” thoughts and reject them in a knee-jerk way, you’re saying to yourself, “I’m not good enough. If I were good enough, I wouldn’t have had that thought in the first place.”

  • Faisal Salamah

    But don’t you think that those negative thoughts keeping you drown in your bad mood could, actually, be your situation in reality? If you ignore them you are just escaping or, in other words, worsening your life troubles.

  • mrinal

    An amazing article. it tells me and kinda assures me when i read it each day that my thoughts are rubbish. i don’t have to listen to the rubbish my mind is telling me, My mind is NOT ME in actual.i don’t have to think over them. Thank you.!

    I would like to read more such positive articles

  • n,jr5i76kygkyv

    True———–

  • Zen Man

    This was very helpful. It made realize why Zen teachings say to just let vexating thoughts come and go. We don’t need to take them seriously. They’re not “us”! Their foreign objects that have come to orbit around our true nature. But if we don’t feed them with attention, then their gravitational pull will start to weaken, and they’ll flung into the far reaches of the universe, never to vex us again!

  • Michaël Karim

    It is the first time i read about the mind as a tool and that you basically just can ‘replace’ your filter (like a piece of equipment that is broken and you simply change it by a ‘working’ one.) Visualizing this is really disempowering the negative thoughts and helps me a lot getting over this.

    Thank you for sharing this. Have a wonderful day

  • nobody

    Having bad thoughts today about death and its making me scared

  • Sirina Farhat

    it’s a great post thank you after reading you article i feel so much better this helps me :D