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Posts tagged with “cheat”

How I Forgave Myself for Cheating and Hurting Someone I Once Loved

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“The best apology is simply admitting your mistake. The worst apology is dressing up your mistake with rationalizations to make it look like you were not really wrong, but just misunderstood.” ~Dodinsky

It was January 2016 and Baltimore was in the midst of a blizzard. Outside, the city was covered in a three-foot blanket of snow. Inside, we were having a blizzard party. My boyfriend, five friends, and me.

We’d been coloring, listening to music, dancing, and playing games. Already, I knew it was one of the most cozy and fun nights of my life. Everyone was happy. The energy …

“But He Never Hit Me!” – How I Ignored My Abuse for 30 Years

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“People only see what they are prepared to see.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Abuse is a funny thing. I don’t mean humorous, of course.

I mean the other definition of funny: difficult to explain or understand.

Abuse shouldn’t be difficult to understand. If someone is mistreated, we should be able to clearly point a finger and proclaim, “That is wrong.”

But not all abuse is obvious or clear-cut.

I was abused for most of my adult life and didn’t know it.

Crazy, right?

Let me state it again: I was abused and didn’t know it.

I only saw what I …

Healing from Abandonment Trauma: 3 Things I Learned from Being Cheated On

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“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” ~Rumi

I want to share an experience I went through that hurt like hell, but that helped me so much in the long run.

The experience was being “cheated on,” though the woman wasn’t my girlfriend. Nevertheless, I was very attached and it felt awful.

So, let me start with the backstory.

I met Diana through mutual friends in late 2021. I thought she was cute, and a little anxious, which I seem to gravitate toward. That’s just my savior complex coming out, which is another story for …

How to Spot Abusive People and Stop Getting into Toxic Relationships

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“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

When it comes to dating, I have always been drawn to people who made me work for their love and validation. Despite the fact that I, like anyone else, wish to be with somebody that loves and supports me, I have always somehow managed to attract the opposite.

My relationship history has been fraught with rejection, feeling unworthy, and trying harder to win love and approval. Every time I felt criticized or undervalued, I would look inward and ask myself what I could do to make my …

Conscious Escapism: The Benefits of a Spiritual Cheat Day

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“The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom… You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough.” ~William Blake

Many people discover spirituality through suffering. I found the path due to years of depression, anxiety, and psychosis. Part of the awakening process is identifying behaviors, traits, habits, or thoughts that don’t serve you. As your behavior changes, so does your diet. Not just what you eat, but everything you consume, including what you listen to, watch, read, and pay attention to.

Orthorexia is the term given to an unhealthy focus on …

What Helped Me Move On After Being Cheated On

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“Sometimes walking away is the only option because you finally respect yourself enough to know that you deserve better.” ~Unknown

When I was cheated on, I was hit by an ongoing blizzard of conflicting emotions.

There were the initial tears that I failed to hide from anyone. There was a cold ruthlessness as I told her that I couldn’t be with her after what she did. There was a wave of misery, there was a wave of anger, and all of it was dotted with periodic moments of calm and even gratitude that she was finally out of my life.…

When Someone Cheats or Mistreats You, It’s About Them, Not You

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“Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. So thank the past for a better future.” ~Unknown

I used to think when someone cheated on me that I was flawed.

You see, I had a core belief that there was something wrong with me. I never felt enough. I’m not even sure I can fully articulate this feeling, but whatever it was, I just didn’t feel enough. Slim enough, pretty enough, clever enough, worthy enough, or just, well, anything enough.

I’ve now come to see that when someone mistreats you it has almost nothing to …

4 Positive Lessons from the Betrayal of Infedelity

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“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis

My eyes leapt open sometime after 2am and, after feeling the empty space next to me, I knew.

The cell phone I laid on the pillow beside my head was silent, my previous text messages left unanswered. Panic swelled in my throat as I frantically dialed his number, calls separated by no more than thirty seconds.

Checking phone logs and driving past houses at night had never been something I pictured myself doing. So, …