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Posts tagged with “happy”

Letting Go, Trusting, and Allowing Yourself to Be Happy and Free

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“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

First, let’s be clear about something…

Surrender is not about giving up, handing power over, or failing. It is not waving the white flag of defeat.

We are so used to striving and trying so hard for an outcome that anything outside of that formula seems like self-sabotage.

It isn’t. In fact, surrender is the pinnacle of evolved and enlightened behavior.

Surrender is the beautiful soft space of acceptance. It is an allowing—allowing life to unfold and to be what it is, irrespective of …

How Do You Motivate Yourself: With Love or Fear?

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“The heart is like a garden: it can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seeds will you plant there?” ~ Jack Kornfield

My whole life has been a story of discipline. I started exercising and eating healthier in eighth grade. I planned out my studies meticulously so I would finish school assignments exactly on time. I always arrived five minutes early for any appointment or meeting. Disciplined.

When I began my yoga studies in earnest at the age of twenty-two, I applied the same disciplined nature to my yoga practice. I had extensive practice plans and had scheduled …

5 Tips to Help You Take Action to Overcome Your Fear

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“Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will.” ~W. Clement Stone

I made it all the way to my thirtieth birthday without learning how to drive. After I turned twenty-one, people often asked me why I hadn’t learned yet. My go-to story was that I lived in a place with abundant public transportation options and never had any intention of buying a car.

The truth is that I wanted to learn, but I was terrified, and the fear grew with each year.

What if I got in an accident? What if people laughed at me for learning so late or …

3 Things to Do When a Friendship Starts to Fade

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“When we can no longer change a situation, we must change ourselves.” ~Victor Frankl

There are a million reasons why a friendship may change over time. You grow older, relocate for a job, have a fight, or start having kids.

It is an inevitable fact that life takes people in new directions; growing apart from old friends becomes a part of our lives. But, somehow I thought that I was immune, that this was someone else’s story.

My friends would be there with me forever.

We celebrated every single New Year’s together. We survived college, breakups—you name it.  Our bond …

Keep Moving Toward Success, One Failure at a Time

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“If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through.” ~Chinese Proverb

I remember clearly the day in March 2003 when I would receive the kind of news that no aspiring musician wants to hear.

“Sorry, but you aren’t currently at the level needed to enter our school.”

Five years of blood, sweat, and tears for what? To be told that I sucked? I sat there, lost in my own thoughts. Was I having a bad day? Was I simply not as good as my ego led me to believe?

There I was, …

20 Ways Sitting in Silence Can Completely Transform Your Life

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“Silence is a source of great strength.” ~Lao Tzu

For over two years I spent one out of every four weeks in silence. At the time I was living at a Zen Monastery and every month we would have a week-long silent retreat.

During this retreat we sat meditation in silence, ate in silence, worked in silence, and only communicated through hand gestures and written notes.

At first living like this was hard, but over time I learned to grow to appreciate silence. By the time I left I learned that silence was my friend and teacher.

What did silence …

Why Giving to Others Is Also Giving to Ourselves

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“Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities.  Seize common occasions and make them great.” ~Orison Swett Marde

I stood at the library counter waiting to check out a stack of books when I overheard an overworked woman explain to the librarian why her books were late.

“My boss has me running his errands after hours. It’s a miracle I made it on time to pick up my daughter from daycare,” she said.

“Are you a personal assistant?” the librarian asked.

“No, I’m a paralegal,” the woman explained. “But staffing is tight, and if I don’t take on the extra tasks I might …

5 Simple but Often Forgotten Ways to Keep a Relationship Strong

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“Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together.” ~Unknown

Out of our six loving years together, my partner and I spent two and a half years in a long-distance relationship. During these years there were times we communicated nearly daily, but there were also times when we couldn’t even email or text for a month at a time while I was living in an African village.

Being separated by an ocean from the person that is the most important to me was of course difficult and painful, but I …

Why It’s Hard to Be Happy

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Source: Lupytha Hermin

The Difference Between Setting Boundaries and Shutting People Out

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“The most important distinction anyone can ever make in their life is between who they are as an individual and their connection with others.” ~Anne Linden

After growing up in a household with extremely loose emotional boundaries, I soon learned the importance of establishing my own personal boundaries as quickly and clearly as possible. And, in recent years, I have even managed to become more eloquent about when and how to set them.

I grew up in a home with my grandmother, mother, and older sister. Grandmother was an immigrant from Hungary who came to America right after WWI. Her …

Let It Be: Using Mindfulness to Overcome Anxiety and Depression

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“Perhaps many things inside you have been transformed; perhaps somewhere, someplace deep inside your being, you have undergone important changes while you were sad.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke

When I was twelve years old, I figured out how to get out of things.

It was a rainy Saturday morning and I was supposed to be getting ready for choir practice—an eight-hour rehearsal before a big concert. Eight hours! I began to obsess about how much time this was in my then tiny life.

As though by my own will, a heavy sensation of dread and nausea arose. I wasn’t aware of …

Forgiving and Letting Go When You Feel Resentful

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“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Ghandi

My childhood was in many ways a nice childhood. I feel like a complete twit to complain about it.  I know other people have gone through so much worse. I’ve read really difficult childhood stories and my heart literally bleeds for these people.

Growing up I was shy, un-confident, and withdrawn. I treated school mostly like a prison sentence. I put my head down and tried to do my time without falling in with the wrong crowd.

My parents were, and are, good parents. They provided …

5 Tips to Help You Stop Limiting Your Potential

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“Have respect for yourself, and patience and compassion. With these, you can handle anything.” ~Jack Kornfield

I learned one of my biggest lessons in life when I ran into a high school bully many years ago. He was totally different from the last time I saw him. He was now passionate about life and adventure, and he looked very happy.

He had a thriving textile trading business and he was set to open a clothing store in less than a year.

After hearing his story, I couldn’t help but feel ashamed of myself.

I realized that in my resentment toward …

How To Keep Yourself Motivated When You’re Not Feeling It

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“A diamond is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well.” ~Unknown

I’m great with short-term goals. In fact, I prefer them. Work my butt off for a few months to reach a goal? I’m down with that. I’ll give up a social life, down time, spending money, eating yummy food (read: sugar), drinking alcohol—whatever it takes, for the short-term. Long-term goals… ugh, not so much.

Despite this preference for pretty immediate gratification, I have followed through with many long-term goals in my life (school and various trainings, long-distance relationships, starting and re-starting businesses, to name a few).…

Following Your Internal Compass and Making Your Own Decisions

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“Believe nothing no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense.” ~Buddha

Dad, who at the time was a fighter pilot in the United States Marine Corps, taught me how to navigate using a compass. The family was on a vacation in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. I was nine.

He got me up that morning before dawn. Mom made us a huge breakfast. I was so excited because I knew that day, I would climb my first mountain.

No, it wasn’t …

7 Tips for Pursuing Your Passion, Even If You Feel Behind

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“Don’t worry about what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman

From center stage I looked out into the crowd as the stage lights warmed my face and did their best to obscure my vision.

In the half-light of the seating area I spotted the faces of family, friends, many other members of the local jazz community, and other people who had come out to support me. Smiling. Clapping. Congratulating.

I didn’t feel happy. Not exactly. The situation was too surreal to …

Stop Comparing: No One Can Do a Better Job of Being You

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“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” ~Unknown

For fifteen years I gave up on art.

I’d been an “artistic” kid, always drawing and painting, but by first or second grade I was already comparing my work to that of other kids and judging it as inferior.

At thirteen I quit making art altogether. There were other kids who could draw so much more realistically than I could—kids to whom anything artistic just seemed to come naturally—and I jumped to the conclusion that their superior skills …

Building Confidence to Face a Fear Instead of Hiding from It

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“Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.” ~Eckhart Tolle

I was very shy growing up, especially in lower and middle school. I moved from the US to London when I was five. Although I don’t remember a lot of my experience in lower school in London, I do know that when I first started I refused to speak or read aloud.

I was in a completely new environment. I was confused and anxious, and it made me afraid of new situations.

As the year progressed I settled in pretty well. I made friends and would not have …

Dealing with Loss: 3 Uplifting Truths About Death and Grief

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“Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever; you just have to live.” ~Natalie Babbitt

I stared at my reflection in the mirror as my face contorted into a painful grimace, tears streaming down my cheeks. My throat constricted to keep the sobbing at bay. My grandmother was dying, and this is how I coped with death: by falling apart.

I was lucky; this is the way death is “supposed” to go. Grammy was 96 and had lived out her old age in comfort.

While I knew I would miss …

How Our Attractions Can Help us Learn to Complete Ourselves

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“Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.” ~H. Jackson Browne

The first time I was stung with the notion of a soul mate, I was twelve years old. I had accompanied my mother to the wedding of a family friend. The church was blissful, the bride beautiful, and the way the groom looked at her had me thinking that one day this would be me.

Almost instantly, I felt that I was already one half of the most beautiful love story, like a divine wave of love magically swept me into thinking that my soul mate, …