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Posts tagged with “happy”

5 Tips to Recognize and Honor Your Needs in Relationships

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“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.” ~Sonya Friedman

In what feels like a previous life, I was a serial dater.

I looked for attention, validation, and identification in relationships. Each guy, however wrong for me, seemed like the perfect fit for my empty hand.

Maybe I hated being around his smoking, but I brushed it off and tried to breathe the other way.

Maybe our conversations were dull, but I thought it’d get better. Maybe I cringed at being dragged to another party, but I went because he wanted to see his friends.

This pattern continued …

The World Needs You to Come Alive

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“Don’t ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman

Three years ago, I found myself in the biggest predicament of my life.

I had finally found what made me happy. I knew that travel ignited a part of me that otherwise lay dormant. The foreign sights, sounds, flavors, and language of a new country are what make my heart pound, my blood pump, and my soul bloom.

I love everything about traveling, and how it impacts my life: the Greek …

Go Ahead and Care—It Won’t Break You

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“What you do have control over is how you react to what happens in your life.” ~Oprah

How vulnerable it is to care deeply.

Because, oh God—the white-hot shame of caring, and having your caring exposed when it doesn’t happen despite your best efforts?

Humbling.

The thing I wanted most since I was a little girl was to be a published writer. Published, as in bound book in hand, “by Kate Swoboda” on the cover. 

As a child, I spent hours writing books—real books, from beginning to end, sometimes illustrating them with pictures.

I majored in English with a writing …

Learn to Forgive Yourself Even When You’ve Hurt Someone Else

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“Be gentle first with yourself if you wish to be gentle with others.” ~Lama Yeshe

Think back to the last time somebody apologized to you about something. Did you forgive them? There is a very good chance that you did.

Now think back to the last time you harmed someone else. Have you forgiven yourself? Probably not.

We all make mistakes. Oftentimes, through our actions, somebody gets hurt.

During this past year, I served as a liaison between my fraternity and a seventeen-year-old cancer patient in a local hospital through the Adopt-a-Family program. This patient, Josh Goldstein, passed away …

Taking Small Steps to Do the Thing That Scares You

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“Take that first step. Bravely overcoming one small fear gives you the courage to take on the next.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

When I was younger I loved to climb trees, but I was always too scared to get myself down. Somehow, when standing at the base of a massive Oak, I’d forget how terrified I’d feel at the top.

So I’d climb away, trying to prove to the neighborhood boys that I was fearless, and then stay up there, clutching the bark and crying, until someone helped me get safely to the ground.

I knew who I wanted to be—a daredevil …

Respond Instead of Reacting: Speak Your Truth, Not Your Fears

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“Speak when you are angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” ~Laurence J. Peter

Finances, relationships, responsibilities, and life in general can certainly create a great deal of noise in our heads. However, if we truly want to feel inner peace, we must take the time to learn to be mindful instead of mind full. This, and only this, will allow us to respond to life instead of reacting to it.

I have tons of happy memories from my childhood and a few harsh ones too. Unfortunately, the harsh memories are those that we replay over and …

Owning Our Actions and Avoiding Regret

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“Your actions are your only true belongings.” ~Allan Lokos

I’d bet I’m not the only one who browses through the quotes section of Tiny Buddha when its time for a pick-me-up or a little bit of a calming down.

As I’m writing this, the quote above is particularly pertinent. I found out an hour ago that someone has hit my car for the second time this year—in the same parking lot as the last accident.

I’m pretty upset, and between waiting to file the police report and being on hold with the insurance, a little bit of comfort reading made …

50 Cheap, Creative Ways to Have Fun

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“Never let lack of money interfere with having fun.” ~Unknown

Back when we were young we may have asked our parents for money to do things, but more often than not we found creative ways to have fun without spending a dime.

At least I know I did.

My cousins and I turned their bulkhead cellar doors into a slide—and the main attraction of our DIY amusement park.

We turned cardboard paper towel rolls and rice-filled soda bottles into instruments, and entertained ourselves for hours on end. Okay, maybe not hours, but you get the point.

We didn’t wait …

6 Tips to Keep Becoming Who You’re Meant to Be

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“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~Anais Nin

Last October, in a whiplash-fast, three-hour labor, two and half weeks before my due date, I gave birth to my first baby, a boy, named Jackson.

While pregnancy hadn’t been a breeze—I was hospitalized twice with complications, and, you know, no sushi for nine months—the first few weeks of Jackson’s life left me feeling, at times, like a shattered shell of my …

3 Ways to Trust Your Body and Trust Yourself

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“Your body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” ~Buddha

I trust that the body knows everything. It does. Absolutely.

Did you ever just get a feeling—maybe something in your body that tells you something is wrong or just not right? Or maybe it gives you hints of unfailing happiness, joy, and earth shattering love?

If we would stop giving so much power to the mind, the ego, and just sat still and tapped into our body’s wisdom, we’d experience a healing power so great that it could prevent or reverse illness, disease, hate, self-loathing, …

Your Thoughts Create Your World: Patrol Your Mind

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“Since you alone are responsible for your thoughts, only you can change them.” ~Paramahansa Yogananda

In my second year of residency, I went through my internal medicine rotation. I had just been assigned to a particular patient and was responsible for his care during that part of his stay. His medical chart stated he had multiple systemic issues, including more than one terminal condition.

He had been admitted to the hospital numerous times, but this was our first encounter. As I entered his room, I wasn’t sure what to expect. After all, this was a man with a limited …

4 Ways To Take The Ego Out of Money Decisions

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“Prosperity depends more on wanting what you have than having what you want.” ~Geoffrey Abert

Nothing has the power to mess up my finances more than my own brain—or, more precisely, my ego.

According to Eckhart Tolle, the ego entails the habitual and compulsive thought processes that go through everybody’s mind continuously. Left unchecked, this constant ego monologue prevents us from focusing on the present moment. Instead, we get caught up in worrying about what happens next.  Or, in my case, what I want to buy next.

My Ego Challenges

As a financial planner, you would think that I …

Creating Calm and Releasing Anxiety: Go Deeper, Not Faster

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“It’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it.” ~Lena Horne

Friends, relatives, and the waitress who served me breakfast said I was the most relaxed bride they’d ever seen. “Most brides are ordering the bloody Mary’s right now, not the green tea,” the server remarked.

This was July 9, 2011, and I was about to marry my husband, best friend, and favorite comedian. Our wedding washed over me like a peace I had long forgotten.

Aside from finding the person I always knew I was looking for, the grace I felt that day resulted …

Waking Up and Forgetting a Bad Day

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“Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” ~Denis Waitley

Yesterday was a bad day.

My husband and I got really close to buying a car before we walked away—again. This time it was because it was above our budget (with taxes), because the current owners didn’t have the title (their bank did), and because our own car broke down on the way to trying to buy the new car (didn’t see that one coming).

I was fine about the ordeal yesterday, seeing …

11 Lessons for a Life Filled with Peace, Love, and Happiness

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“A man is not old until regrets take the place of his dreams.” ~Proverb

When Lori wrote her list of thirty-three lessons she’d learned in life (one for each of her years) to celebrate her recent birthday, she gave us some amazing insights (thirty-three to be exact) for someone so young.

It got me thinking of what wisdom I could possibly add to the list from the extra years of life I’ve led, eleven extra years to be exact. (Did I just admit that!)

As someone still so young (well, sort of), I’m still learning too, and hope to keep …

More Peace and Connection: Recreating a Simpler Time

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“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~Robert Brault

Yesterday, as my boyfriend and I were driving home from a quick trip to Vegas, we saw a sign for a ghost town and decided to do some exploring.

I’ve always loved the idea of a ghost town—a place left untouched for years, still reflecting the people who once inhabited it, as if they’d just picked up and left mere moments ago.

Though aged with cobwebs, marred by neglect, and long since deprived of life and laughter, it would seem …

Strength in Times of Doubt: 11 Tips for Tough Times

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“We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.” ~Unknown

There is no question that we are living in a time of doubt, fear, uncertainty, and economic frustration. Only recently have I experienced this doubt on a gut level, the kind that can punch hard and make you sick.

I am writing because I want this to change, but also because I know other people are dealing with this same thing.

After spending nine years in school, four degrees later, I found myself unemployed and overqualified. My passion for social work and education loomed far in …

Live the Beach Lifestyle Everyday

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“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” ~Sydney J. Harris

I live on a beach, and I don’t mean in a box under the boardwalk. Rather, my home is just about 60 seconds away. People tell me I’m lucky when they find out that the beach is basically my backyard.

This implies that we all randomly end up living in places strictly by chance, and that my being here is purely accidental. I obviously chose to live here. But beyond that, the beach life can be a choice, even if you don’t live near …

5 Ways To Reclaim The Human Wealth That Is Your Right

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“An unhurried sense of time is in itself a sort of wealth.” ~Bonnie Friedman

We live in a society that favors material wealth over human wealth. Fame, fortune, and glamorous toys are what we are told to strive for with no thought to time, freedom, spirituality, and love. Even if you are just struggling to make ends meet, magazines and television will tell you to keep chasing the material dream.

Philosopher Daniel Quinn describes our economy in comparison to the economies of tribal people. He argues our economy is based on an exchange of products. You make products and sell …

When Giving Up Really Isn’t: Taking a Step Back

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“A bend in the road is not the end of the road…unless you fail to make the turn.” ~Unknown

A year ago this week I was lying on a pile of laundry on my bathroom floor, sobbing, blowing my nose into a dirty t-shirt. I was in the last stages of packing up my apartment, selling my furniture, putting a few belongings into storage, and at 34 I was moving home to my parents’ house.

It was not a good month, in a less-than-stellar year.

It was a year filled with difficult circumstances. Two years earlier I’d given up a …