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Posts tagged with “self-care”

Rethinking Productivity: Less Hustle, More Harmony, More Energy

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“The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long.” ~Lao Tzu

I can hear the voices now:

“You should be disappointed in yourself” (for not taking the SATs in seventh grade).

“Don’t be lazy like [fill in a not-so-studious sibling/cousin]!”

“You need to work harder or else you’ll fall behind.”

“Always be analyzing, analyzing, analyzing!”

“We need to improve our operational efficiency or ELSE.” Or else what?

My mind became a boiling stew of negative self-talk, heavy thoughts, and beliefs that didn’t serve me. Throughout my entire life, from an immigrant Asian family to corporate leaders fixated on

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20 Self-Care Quotes to Keep You Mentally and Emotionally Strong

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It’s a new week, and that can bring with it a sense of excitement and possibility or a sense of dread about your overwhelming responsibilities. Sometimes for me it’s both.

And not just because I have a lot to do, but also because, like most of us, I have a lot going in my head and my heart at any given time. And it’s not always easy to be a feeling human in a busy world that won’t slow down when it all seems like too much. Which means sometimes we need to stop instead.

Stop pushing ourselves. Stop ignoring …

Tiny Buddha’s Self-Care Course: Buy One, Give One Sale!

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As we get older, we tend to get clearer on what matters most to us in life. For me, it’s self-care and relationships. If you share my top values, you’re in luck, because today’s special offer honors both of those things!

In my experience, self-care and relationships have been deeply intertwined—because I’ve found that deep-level self-care reinforces my worth, which enables me to attract and hold onto healthy relationships. Which then inspires me to continue taking good care of myself so I can give the best of myself to the people I love (without losing myself in the process).

This …

8 Ways Life Improves When You Value and Prioritize Yourself

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“Every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, ‘This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!’ And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart, and say, ‘No. This is what’s important.’” ~Iain Thomas

As someone who believes in the healing power of self-care, I absolutely love this quote. But I didn’t always believe it was true. And it didn’t feel good to do it.

My heart was too tender to be touched for long. And …

6 Reasons We Ignore Our Needs and How to Stop

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“If you feel that you are missing out on fulfillment and happiness, but cannot put your finger on why, perhaps there is something deeper going on. Believe it or not, anyone can develop an unconscious habit of self-deprivation. Usually, this habit begins in childhood.” ~Mike Bundrant

For all my adolescence and over a decade of my adult life, I was what men (and I’m guessing some female friends as well) would refer to as “emotionally needy.” And some did. To my face. With a sense of condescension and judgment.

They were right. I was clingy, insecure, and fragile. I needed …

How I Broke Free from My Toxic Need to Achieve

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“If it’s out of your hands, it deserves freedom from your mind too.” ~ Ivan Nuru

“Honey, we’re gonna call you an ambulance.”

The woman on the other end of the phone at the hospital call center sounded stern as I lay on my bathroom floor in my robe, writhing in pain, barely able to speak.

I never knew you could hyperventilate from pain, I remember thinking.

It was December, and I’d just returned home from a stressful international work trip with jet lag and exhaustion as my souvenirs. The sensitive, introverted parts of myself I normally shoved under the …

Self-Care Is…

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All Emotions Come and Go

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Take Care of Your Energy

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You Owe Yourself One Hour a Day of Self-Maintenance

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22 Things That Have Helped Me Grow and Love Myself

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“Be brave enough to take off the masks you wear out there and get to know who you are underneath. Be vulnerable enough to accept your flaws and know that they are what make you human; they are what make you real. Be confident enough to accept and cherish your strengths. Don’t minimize them or hide them. They are your beautiful gifts to share with the world. Be brave enough to say, you know what, all of this is who I am. I make so many mistakes. I can be forgetful, I am messy. But I am doing my best …

How to Slow Down and Take Care of Yourself

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“You are worth the quiet moment. You are worth the deeper breath. You are worth the time it takes to slow dow, be still and rest.” ~Morgan Harper Nichols

“It’s great to see you without three laptops and two phones,” my cardiologist quipped. I nodded, remembering how, a year earlier, I’d sat in the ICU tethered to my to-do list while having a heart attack. Even as the doctors were attaching wires and monitors to me, I couldn’t put my laptop down. I believed that everything would fall apart if I stopped to take care of myself.

It had …

Why I Love My Sober Life: Everything I Gained When I Quit Drinking

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“Sobriety was the greatest gift I ever gave myself.” ~Rob Lowe

I tried and failed to have a fabulous relationship with alcohol for many years.

When my children were tiny, I drank far more than was good for me, thinking I was relaxing, unwinding, socializing, and having fun. I’d seen my life shrink down from a world with lots of freedom and vibrancy to a socially restricted void, and I wanted to feel normal. I wanted to join in with everyone else.

All my birthday cards had bottles of gin or glasses of fizz on them, all the Friday afternoon …

19 Things to Start Doing for Yourself in the New Year

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“And suddenly you know… it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of new beginnings.” ~Meister Eckhart

Did you know that 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail?

That’s pretty crazy. Maybe you’re part of that statistic. Feeling eager, excited, and ready for change only to fall back into old patterns after a few weeks.

This was me, year after year—striving for change but not managing to pull it through, but not last year.

A few days ago I found a letter I had written to myself on New Year’s Eve in 2016, describing how I wanted 2017 to …

7 Pillars of Mental Health: How to Feel Your Best (Almost) Every Day

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“Sending love to everyone who’s doing their best to heal from things they don’t discuss.” ~Unknown

When I was twelve years old, I planned on taking my own life. I had a plan, I had the means, and I thought about it every single day for months. No one was aware—not my family, not my best friends, not my teachers at school or my peers. It would have been a huge surprise in my community had I attempted it, because I didn’t appear as someone who was severely depressed.

Thankfully, I never acted on it, and fifteen years later I …

A People-Pleaser’s Guide to Reclaiming Your Life: 6 Ways to Say No

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“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” ~Unknown

Have you ever found yourself stuck in the “yes” trap, even when your gut screamed “no”?

I have.

We people-pleasers struggle with boundary crushers, and there are a lot of them out there continuously knocking over the barriers we put up!

But here is a secret I have learned: I’m allowed to say “no” without drowning in guilt. In fact, it’s a vital part of my self-care journey to give myself permission to freely say “no.”

Empowerment of “NO”

Saying “no” …

Take Good Care of Yourself When You Do Well AND When You Fall Short

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“Kindness is choosing love over hate, light over darkness, compassion over judgment.” ~Raktivist

One of the things about being “good” (and for me that includes things like patience, kindness, and being agreeable) is that people assume things about me. They think I’m always patient, I always make the right decisions, and I’m an all-around great person.

Well, I’m not always anything—except human. And that means I make mistakes, big ones even. This week I did NOT set an example of perfection. I had a moment when I became the exact opposite: loud and emotional. I melted down.

Why did this …

Why I Didn’t Love Myself (and All the Suggestions That Didn’t Help)

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“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise Hay

There is a lot of hype around self-love these days. The media and marketing world often bombard us with messages insinuating that the key to self-love lies in consumerism. For a long time, I bought into this idea.

I would see an advertisement urging me to treat myself to a high-end face cream for a dose of self-care. Or a promotional email landing in my inbox might suggest that a calming lavender bubble bath was just what I needed …

Caretaking Your Sensitive System for More Love in your Relationship

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“Sometimes you’ve got to look straight into the tired eyes of the woman staring back at you in the mirror and tell her that she deserves the best kind of love, the best kind of life, and devote yourself to giving it to her all over again.” ~S.C. Lourie

I learned the hard way that in order to have an intimate relationship (and life) that feels deeply satisfying, nourishing, and fulfilling, highly sensitive people (HSPs) need to attend more to their emotional well-being than non-HSPs.

Before I knew I was highly sensitive (which is a normal trait …

How I Embraced Alcohol-Free Living: 4 Things That Made It Easier

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“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” ~Abraham Maslow

A few years ago I decided to take a break from alcohol, and I also decided I would probably be lonely, miserable, and boring for the duration of my break.

I’d allowed a lot of social conditioning to affect me, and I was sure people who didn’t drink either had no friends, had hit a drastic rock-bottom, or had no fun. I didn’t know if I was going to find happiness or even contentment on the other side of my drinking career, and …