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Posts tagged with “truth”

Why We Need to Share Our Honest Feelings

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“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” ~Nelson Mandela

She hurt my feelings. She was leaving soon to live in another country for up to six months. I knew that if I held on to my hurt, this resentment would fester, and my best friend would be the recipient of my anger.

I prayed for courage to find the right words. I didn’t want to hurt her. I knew I had to say something or …

When You’re Afraid to Speak Up and Be Yourself in Relationships

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“Your fear is boring.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

It has taken me eighteen years of marriage, two kids, and twenty-plus years of healing to realize I have been afraid of being myself with my husband.

It has taken me decades to step into my power and become the fiercely alive, joyful, and creative expression I am today.

I often think about the guy I met at the bar on the beach and wonder about things like fate, purpose, and “The Grand Plan,” meant-to-be sort of stuff. I stare at my two gorgeous children and part of me knows that every morsel of …

Your Story Matters More Than You Think

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“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~Brené Brown

When it comes to taking on a creative endeavor—or even just putting ourselves out there in ways large and small—one of the (many) ways we get ourselves stuck is by saying we don’t have anything new to offer.

What am I adding to the conversation that hasn’t already been said, we ask. This has been done to death, we worry.

Such a disservice to our own unique voices, I say. Not to mention the …

3 Tips to Help You Stop Saying Things You Regret

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“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” ~Buddha

I initially saw this quote and, in true ego-first fashion, thought of my kids: this’ll be perfect for them. I’ll put it up in the kitchen as a regular reminder to stop pestering each other.

But then, something a bit deeper poked me gently. Riiight, just for the kids, is it? You’ve got this mastered, then. I guess my true self is not afraid to use sarcasm when it needs to.

My true self was right (as it always is). When …

How to Change What You Feel and Believe About Yourself

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“Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.” ~Robert Gary Lee

A year ago, I began to accept that I was depressed, and had been for a long time. It was scary. I broke up with my live-in boyfriend of almost three years, quit my job, and though I didn’t want to, I moved halfway across the country to move back in with my parents.

I was a wreck; all of the feelings that I had been suppressing for years, some literally since childhood, came flooding back. My only defense in the past had been to ignore these feelings, though I …

Why Positive Affirmations Don’t Always Work (and What Does)

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“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” ~Buddha

My final exam is tomorrow.

It’s a big one—one that covers a lot of material with a major grade component—and my body is clenched with anxiety.

I pick up my book, flick through my notes, and scan a few scribbles. The anxiety builds like a wave. Cresting on top of that wave? Negative, self-critical thoughts.

I’m never going to retain all this material during the exam. I won’t be able to answer the questions fast enough. I have to be a lot smarter to pass…

I …

How to Share Your Feelings and Be Heard

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“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Not so long ago, a dear friend of mine approached me wishing to be heard for some overwhelming grief and anger she was carrying.

I gave her my full ear and attention, but as I listened to her, I noticed a worry begin to stir inside me—a worry surfacing around a great deal of violent intent I heard in her words. Could she really want to hurt someone I believed she loved?

After another …

3 Tips to Get Out of Your Head and Start Expressing Yourself

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“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” ~Bruce Lee

I have always been timid when it comes to expressing myself, speaking my mind, and standing up for something. This stems from being raised in a culture where showing emotions is frowned upon.

Nothing I ever did seemed good enough. There was constant criticism that I could do better, and be better. I was raised to never to talk back to my seniors and not to say anything when I had nothing nice to say.

So …

How to Stop Feeling Inadequate and Embrace Your Imperfect Self

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“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen

As I sit in bed typing this, all cozied up with a hot cup of tea and my fuzz ball Maestro relaxing at my feet, I feel happy and at ease.

I scan the room and see a couple of stacks of laundry that need to be put away. I recall that my daughter’s toys are still strewn across the house because I didn’t feel much like stopping to pick them up prior to my retreat …

A Place to Release Your Secrets and Shame: Share Your Truth in the Forums

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Ten months ago when I launched the Tiny Buddha community forums, I hoped they would better enable us all to connect with and support each other.

Since then, I’ve been amazed and inspired to see the love and compassion people extend there, without any agenda beyond helping others feel less alone and more at ease in our uncertain, often confusing world.

There are now over 10,000 active forum members, and there have been more than 1,600 conversations on a wide range of topics related to spirituality, self-esteem, relationships, purpose, parenting, health and fitness, and more.

Whether you’re an active …

Lessons from a Former Liar: The Power of Owning Our Stories

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“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~Brené Brown

I don’t know about you, but I used to lie. I used to lie a lot. I remember one particular instance when I lied about being a passenger in a drive-by.

I lied about my age, my weight, and the reason for the injuries on my body. Sure, I’d just bruised myself by walking into a table, but it made a much more seductive story if I told people that I’d fallen from the rooftop of …

The Dangers of Staying Quiet: Learning to Ask For Help

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“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” ~Elbert Hubbard

My right leg lay twisted, broken and disconnected. As I regained awareness, I could hear a primal scream.

It took a while to register that it was coming from me.

At the time, I was supposedly living my dream, but in truth I was drowning in my loneliness. So I had stood almost directly behind a horse I knew was prone to kicking and pulled her tail.

She wasn’t malicious; if she was, I would be dead now, as I had …

How to Speak Your Mind Without Making Someone Else Wrong

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“Would you rather be right or free?” ~Byron Katie

Do you have the freedom to say what you really feel? Do you share your true thoughts and ideas, or do you struggle to avoid hurting, disappointing, or angering others?

It can be easier to try to meet others’ expectations and avoid conflict. We may even believe we are making someone happy by not speaking our truth. What’s the cost? Slowly giving up fragments of who we genuinely are: our authentic self.

There was a time when right and wrong worked for me. I had stability, harmony, and a …

Respond Instead of Reacting: Speak Your Truth, Not Your Fears

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“Speak when you are angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” ~Laurence J. Peter

Finances, relationships, responsibilities, and life in general can certainly create a great deal of noise in our heads. However, if we truly want to feel inner peace, we must take the time to learn to be mindful instead of mind full. This, and only this, will allow us to respond to life instead of reacting to it.

I have tons of happy memories from my childhood and a few harsh ones too. Unfortunately, the harsh memories are those that we replay over and …

The Wisdom of Learning What’s Right and True for You

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“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.” ~Lao-tzu

There seems to be a common perception in our culture that knowledge equals wisdom; however, I don’t believe this is true.

I would say that wisdom is what knowledge becomes when we have brought it into our hearts and experienced it as true.

Wisdom cannot be gained by passively accepting what we read or by believing what another person tells us. We must take an idea or thought and test it, truly investigate it, before it can become wisdom.

Wisdom requires awareness and a willingness to ask ourselves—and experience firsthand—what …

The Fable of Fear and 3 Simple Steps to Conquer It

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“Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.” ~Unknown

Once upon a time, there was a young woman who carried Fear as her constant companion.

It wasn’t fear of wild animals, impending danger, or the shadows that lurk in the night. In fact, her friend Fear had become disassociated with any real thing. It had become an entity all its own that could morph and wind its way into any circumstance the woman happened to be in.

The woman wasn’t born this way.

When she was small, Fear had served her well and taught her how to stay out of harm’s way. But …

A Simple Guide to Being Yourself Instead of People Pleasing

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To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Many people I talk with feel that they have no joy in their life. They feel obligated to do so many things that they don’t have time for themselves and the things they really want to do.

As a result, they feel drained, anxious, and resentful. With so many outside forces competing for their time, energy, and financial resources, is it really any wonder they feel this way?

So what do we do? How can we remain …