Posts tagged with “wisdom”
Put Down Your Phone: Why Presence Is the Best Gift You’ll Ever Give
“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
The only thing worse than not listening to someone is pretending to listen.
Giving the vague murmur of agreement, or a quick nod to communicate “Yes, I’m listening, totally,” when really, we’re not.
I remember vividly a dinner I had with friends about four years ago. I’d been backpacking in New Zealand for twelve months and had just returned to the UK. Traveling in the car to my friend’s house, I imagined how the night …
Why I Blamed Myself for My Ex’s Suicide (and Why It’s Not My Fault)
“No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future.” ~Umar Ibn Al Khattab
I don’t remember the exact day the message came through. It was from my son, Julian, and he needed to talk to me. It sounded pretty serious. He never really needs to talk to me.
His father was found dead earlier that week. He’d hung himself.
While this news hardly affected Julian at all, it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I cried.
Our Marriage
We met in a taxi thirty-three years ago. He was the driver, …
How I Overcame My Chronic Digestive Issues by Learning to Breathe Right
“If you know the art of deep breathing, you have the strength, wisdom and courage of ten tigers.” ~Chinese adage
Let me share a little secret: I started healing from decades of debilitating chronic digestive issues when I stopped looking for the next best solution and trying to heal. Instead, I did nothing. And I took a breath.
Let’s start at the beginning. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease (an irritable bowel disease) at the age of eighteen, which would have marked the beginning of my oh-so-anticipated adult life, but instead, I thought my life was over.
I had every …
Please Don’t Fix Me: What True Empathy Is (And Isn’t)
“No one mentioned until I was in late middle age that—horribly!—my good, helpful ideas for other grown-ups were not helpful. That my help was in fact sometimes toxic. That people needed to defend themselves from my passionate belief that I had good ideas for other people’s lives. I did not know that help is the sunny side of control.” ~Anne Lamott
I’m a well-meaning empath.
If you share your problems with me, I’ll quickly make them my own. I’ll listen intently, feel deeply, and want to help. I’ll give you advice and solutions you didn’t ask for, then be annoyed …
Making Big Decisions: How to Discern the Whispers of Your Soul
“Intuition is the whisper of the soul.” ~Jiddu Krishnamurti
“I can’t believe they are taking her side over mine. I gave this job so many years, and she decides to walk in and mess it all up for me,” I said to my husband.
A few years back, when I was working full time at my corporate job, I got into a disagreement with a team member. It spiraled out of control to the point where my boss then had to have a sit-down with us. I was so humiliated and angry that he could not see my side.
They …
How Perfectionism and Anxiety Made Me Sick and What I Wish I Knew Sooner
“Perfectionism is the exhausting state of pretending to know it all and have it all together, all the time. I’d rather be a happy mess than an anxious stress case who’s always trying to hide my flaws and mistakes.” ~Lori Deschene
“That’s not how you do it!” I slammed the door as I headed outside, making sure my husband understood what an idiot he was. He’d made the appalling mistake of roasting potatoes for Thanksgiving instead of making stuffing.
He was cooking while I studied, trying to make sure I got a semblance of a holiday. We lived away from …
5 Tips to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People
“No matter what you do, someone won’t be pleased. Someone will think your choices are wrong. And someone will tell you what you should do instead. No matter which path you take, someone will seem to be doing better. Someone will have more than you. And someone else’s life may look more impressive on paper. If you’re being true to yourself, none of that will matter because you’ll have something more satisfying than approval and the illusion of “success”: a life that feels right for you, based on your own wants, needs, values, and priorities.” ~Lori Deschene
Have you ever …
Are You Sick of Waiting, Wanting, and Wishing for a Better Life?
“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.” ~Walter Elliott
I often find myself impatient with the pace of my progress. Waiting for my life to move forward can sometimes feel like I’m watching paint dry.
There are so many moments when we feel like our life is at a standstill. This is generally where I double down with my intensity. I hit it with everything I can. The crash comes soon after from the inevitable violent collision of my mind, body, and spirit as they’re pushed beyond their limits.
The idea of having …
When Things Have to Change: How to Find the Willpower to Achieve Your Goals
“When it is obvious the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” ~Confucius
Do you want to know my biggest fear?
I’ve just come out of the closet, my parents have rejected me, and I am terrified, really, really terrified, because I’m completely alone, and the pain is unbearable.
But it’s not just the rejection that terrifies me—it’s also what happens after that.
With no one to turn to, I find comfort at the bottom of a bag of chips.
Three months and thirty pounds later I’ve yet to leave the confines of my bedroom. …
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