Posts tagged with “wisdom”
The Only Way to Form Meaningful Relationships with People Who Get You
“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.” ~Jim Morrison
When I left my full-time position at an ad agency and ventured out on my own, I had a clear goal in mind—to connect with like-minded people who align with my highest good. As far as how I was going to do that, I had little clue.
My life was full of relationships built from forced, sometimes toxic circumstances where we found each other out of need or convenience. I am grateful for each of those people because they were there when I needed them most, …
How I Created Opportunities in a World Full of Obstacles
“I really want to, but I can’t because [add semi-valid reason here].”
That’s a template sentence to let yourself off the hook.
It’s not copyrighted, so feel free to use it any time you want to let go of your dreams and not feel bad about it.
Honestly, it hurts me every time I hear someone say it. I see it for what it is—an excuse.
Every single one of us has ambitions, hopes, dreams, and goals. We fantasize about them on our commutes to work and before we sleep. We talk about how we will one day achieve …
The Relief of Letting Go and Living Fully Despite My Anxiety
“We only live once, Snoopy.” ~Charlie Brown
“Wrong. We only die once. We live every day.” ~Snoopy
I am an anxious person. I haven’t always been though. When I had my first child, fourteen years ago, it was the week after my father died. My son was born and went right to the NICU where he spent the first fourteen days of his life. In that moment, I changed. I’d already had one miscarriage. I couldn’t lose anyone else.
Man, life is fragile. I spent the next decade making sure he played on the swings at the park, but not …
Why We Often Fail When We Set Big Goals and What Actually Works
“You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.” ~James Clear
If you pull up any popular motivational video today, you’ll probably hear things like “Set big goals!” and “Aim high and don’t stop until you get there!”
After watching a video like this, you may get inspired and start mapping out your plan to leave the 99% in the dust.
And typically, because you’re riding a wave of motivation, you’ll write out these monstrous, Mount-Everest-like goals. These goals paint a picture of your life that is so exciting that …
Why “Find Your Purpose” is Bad Advice and What to Do Instead
“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” ~Pablo Picasso
I was fifty-two when I found my purpose. I wasn’t even looking. It literally just smacked me upside the head. That’s a funny thing about life. It throws things your way, and you either grab them and run with them or you turn a blind eye and walk on by.
I used to turn a blind eye. I don’t anymore. These days I’m taking in all that life tosses my way. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
How
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Where Our Inner Critic Comes from and How to Tame It
“Your inner critic is simply a part of you that needs more self-love.” ~Amy Leigh Mercee
We all have that critical and judgmental inner voice that tells us we’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, etc.
It tells us we don’t do anything right. It calls us stupid. It compares us to other people and speaks harshly about ourselves and our bodies. It tells us all the things we did or said “wrong” after communicating or connecting with someone.
Sometimes it projects criticism outward onto others so we can feel better about ourselves. Other times we try to …
If You’re Trapped Under a Pile of “Should” and Tired of Feeling Unhappy
“Stop shoulding on yourself.” ~Albert Ellis
I was buried under a pile of shoulds for the first thirty-two years of my life. Some of those shoulds were put on me by the adults in my life, some were heaped on because I am a middle child, but most were self-imposed thanks to cultural and peer influence.
“You should get straight A’s, Jill.”
“You shouldn’t worry so much, Jill.”
“You should be married by now, Jill.”
“You should get your Master’s degree.”
I could go on forever. The pile was high, and I was slowly suffocating from the crushing weight on …
How I Developed Self-Worth After Being Sexually Harassed and Fired
“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” ~Unknown
In my early twenties, I was a food and beverage manager at a nice hotel in Portland, Maine. About a month after I started working there, they hired our department director, a man twice my age whom I would report to.
At the end of his first week, we went out for a “get to know each other” drink at a loud and busy bar. As we drank and chatted, he was physically very close to me. I told myself it was because of the noise.
His …
I Was Addicted to Helping People – Here’s Why It Made Me Miserable
“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.” ~Maya Angelou
Growing up in Africa, I was told that the virtue and worth of a woman lies in her ability to take care of everyone around her; that a woman was considered good or worthy when everyone around her was happy and pleased with her. I took this advice to heart, especially since I watched my mother meet this standard to a T. Putting everyone else, including strangers, above herself.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 