Posts tagged with “wisdom”
How I Overcame the Stress of Perfectionism by Learning to Play Again
“What, then, is the right way of living? Life must be lived as play…” ~Plato
I am a recovering perfectionist, and learning to play again saved me.
Like many children, I remember playing a lot when I was younger and being filled with a sense of openness, curiosity, and joy toward life.
I was fortunate to grow up in Oregon with a large extended family with a lot of cousins with whom I got to play regularly. We spent hours, playing hide-and-seek, climbing trees, drawing, and building forts.
I also attended a wonderful public school that encouraged play. We …
When You Lose a Loved One to Suicide: Healing from the Guilt and Trauma
“You will survive, and you will find purpose in the chaos. Moving on doesn’t mean letting go.” ~Mary VanHaute
I was ten years old when I discovered the truth. He didn’t fall. He wasn’t pushed. It wasn’t an accident.
He jumped.
Suicide isn’t a concept easily explained to a six-year-old, much less her younger siblings, so I grew up believing that my father’s drowning was an unfortunate freak accident. It was “just one of those things,” the cruel way of the world, and there was nothing anyone could have done about it.
This explanation more than satisfied me and, other …
The 6 Personalities of People-Pleasing and How I Overcame Them
“The truth is, you’re never going to be able to please everybody, so stop trying. Remember, the sun is going to continue shining even if some people get annoyed by its light shining in their eyes. You have full permission to shine on.” ~Unknown
I used to be a rebel. I was the girl at the party who would waltz into a room and have everyone in awe, their attention and curiosity caught by my presence. I felt it, they felt it, it was magnetic. I loved it—I had become the girl I wanted to be.
That was until one …
How I Found My Place in the World When I Felt Beaten Down by Life
“Some people are going to reject you simply because you shine too bright for them. That’s okay. Keep shining.” ~Mandy Hale
After I finished school, I was excited about moving forward with life.
I thought about the career that I hoped to have, where I hoped to live, and the things that I wanted to accomplish.
After starting off as a secondary high school English teacher and becoming disappointed with the ongoing changes in the public school system, I went to graduate school for law. I thought it would open up a lot of possibilities, but it did not.
I …
How I Stopped Dismissing Praise and Started Believing Compliments
“I’ve met people who are embattled and dismissive, but when you get to know them, you find that they’re vulnerable—that hauteur or standoffishness is because they’re pedaling furiously underneath.” ~Matthew Macfadyen
It was impossible to miss the dismissive hand gesture and distasteful look on her face in response to my comment.
“You ooze empathy,” I had said in all sincerity to my therapist.
“And what’s it like if I blow off or disregard that compliment?” she countered. Then, as usual, she waited.
“Ah, it feels terrible,” I sputtered as the lights of insight began to flicker. I was acutely …
The Signs of a Strong Friendship (and an Unhealthy One)
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” ~Oprah Winfrey
“How on earth am I supposed to survive? I have no friends whatsoever!”
These were the thoughts that ran through my mind then when I first set foot in London five years ago. I felt raw and vulnerable in the beautiful new city that I had to make my new home, alone, with my two kids, while my husband was overseas. I wondered how I was supposed to do …
My Attraction Experiment: Why I Created a Dating Profile with No Pics
“Being attracted to someone’s way of thinking is a whole different level of attraction.” ~Unknown
I have been divorced for ten years now and thought it would be fairly easy to find “the one” once I was set free from the ties of the wrong one. To my surprise, it has been harder than I thought it would be. I have found many but not “the one.”
I have been on Match, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, and blind dates, and even dated a longtime friend to only find myself single going into my fiftieth year on this planet. It …
The Fascinating Reason We Sabotage Ourselves and Hold Ourselves Back
“Sometimes we self-sabotage just when things seem to be going smoothly. Perhaps this is a way to express our fear about whether it is okay for us to have a better life.” ~Maureen Brady
Have you ever decided to try something new—like getting into a new relationship or doing something that would help you experience success in your career/mission or offer you more vibrant health and well-being—and you were able to follow through for a bit, but then you stopped? Was this self-sabotage? Was it procrastination?
Did you know that self-sabotage and procrastination can be survival mechanisms, and …
How Singles Can Come Out Stronger After the Pandemic
“Resilience is all about being able to overcome the unexpected. Sustainability is about survival. The goal of resilience is to thrive.” ~Jamais Cascio
The pandemic has forced us to avoid people, self-isolate, and keep to ourselves.
It might seem like you’re in a position where you don’t have many options. You can’t freely hang out with your friends. You can’t have fun like you used to. Your dating and socializing opportunities are limited. These setbacks can bring to the fore feelings of loneliness, deepen the longing for relationships, and highlight your innate desire for connection.
I know how easy …
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