Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Feels like Time is passing too fast
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April 21, 2023 at 7:50 am #417657
SereneWolf
ParticipantYeah, that’s your avoidant attachment style. You keep a distance, you put on a guard, you don’t allow yourself to get too close… In this situation now it might be useful, since the girl still has feelings for her ex. And it doesn’t leave you too affected emotionally, in fact you feel a sense of relief…
Well I think I did put my guard down, and I did felt close to her. But not like what we could say heavily attached? But yeah I do feel sense of relief
I guess she is disappointed a little that you are so “calm and composed” about not having her in your life. That you don’t love her and miss her more. That’s what the sigh means, I guess…
I guess you’re right. She wants extreme kind of love but now that I’m much aware I’m taking things slowly
Yeah, you stopped her from expressing her love, I guess because you didn’t want to express it to her either? You were afraid of deep emotions. And also, perhaps the belief that “I am hard to love” was still present in you a little, so how could she possibly say that she loves you – it must be the breeze and the stars…?
It could be that she agreed to give her ex another chance because she is missing more “attachment” from you, more eagerness to be with her? I am not saying it is your fault that she is conflicted, but it could be that she feels she’s not important enough to you, and this contributed to her conflict? Has she ever complained about your emotional “coolness”/reservedness till now?
I mean like we discussed I was already anxious and afraid of taking things so fast.
I guess that’s why I stopped her from expressing her love, and I don’t know I’m just believe in slow love more? Like aging wine. It gets better, In No rush.
If she’d met me few month ago, she’d get exactly what she wants. More attachments and eagerness haha
And No She never complained about my emotional “coolness”/reservedness only praised it many times.
But like I told you before she’s like a high school girl she just feels “a lot” so it’s obvious that she wants someone like that?
So I talked to her this evening. She and her ex had a meeting and apparently, He wants her back and she said he’s not like before (Which I doubt it somewhat) she’s still feeling conflicted but she said she don’t want to cut ties with me…So she didn’t gave him any answer and told him to wait…
So I told her take her time, I’ll support her decision.
April 21, 2023 at 9:12 am #417658Tee
ParticipantHey SereneWolf,
I am doing similarly, still no big breakthrough in healing…
Oh good! Here’s another one I kinda created from the conversation we had, I am enough, just as I am, and I am worthy of all the good things that life has to offer.
That one is great too!
No actually not turning against me but like fake youj know?… I don’t like those kinds of people who just do something for me just because they want something from me. That’s not love. That’s simply like a business transaction. For example when I decide to help someone I don’t think I should only help this person if someday he/she can help me
Yeah I know what you mean – when you feel that their kindness is not sincere, but it comes with an expectation of you doing them a favor in the future, of giving them something in return. Yes, I’ve met such people. Don’t like them either…
Yes I’m keeping my cool but like you said sometimes I’m just boiling inside
Right, you seem “calm and composed”, but that’s because you’re good at controlling yourself and not letting it show. But inside, you feel very angry. As I said, I think a part of that anger isn’t related to the actual person standing in front of you, but it’s the anger at your father… and so you overreact (internally) to the person, although it doesn’t show on the outside. Or at least it’s not so obvious…
Ah right it’s been a while since I did journaling, I should start this good habit. But for this setting I should just write down what I feel and how can I make it better?
There is this youtube channel that I like, called the Crappy Childhood Fairy, which is focused on healing from C-PTSD. And she teaches a method of daily journaling, which she calls “The Daily Practice.” The video describing it is titled “Calm Anxiety – Learn this simple technique 15 minutes“. She explains how she writes down all her fears and resentments, meditates on it a little, and then she asks God (for those who believe) to remove them. Or for non-believers, they can say they are ready to release those fears and resentments.
I do it a little differently, but I do write things down, and usually have some insight about what’s behind my fear or resentment, and it makes me feel better.
Oh right you explained it very well. So I just need to make myself feel worthy again?
Yes, you’d need to really accept that you are worthy, special and unique. That you have gifts and talents, and that your contribution is important and valuable. That you and your contribution matter. That you are important.
Do you think you could do it, or you still have doubts?
April 21, 2023 at 12:19 pm #417661Tee
ParticipantHi SereneWolf,
I guess you’re right. She wants extreme kind of love but now that I’m much aware I’m taking things slowly
well, she wanted to tell you she loves you, and probably expected to hear the same from you… Because you’ve been dating for a while, visiting each other, watching the stars together… I don’t think it’s extreme, but for you, it’s too much. Because for you, telling someone you love them comes with a lot of load, with fear of vulnerability, and perhaps fear of their expectations… Perhaps for you it’s like something that would start an avalanche of scary things, and you don’t want it, right?
I mean like we discussed I was already anxious and afraid of taking things so fast.
I guess that’s why I stopped her from expressing her love, and I don’t know I’m just believe in slow love more? Like aging wine. It gets better, In No rush.
Hm…. yeah, or it’s fear of getting hurt? I think in people with avoidant attachment, it’s rather the latter…
If she’d met me few month ago, she’d get exactly what she wants. More attachments and eagerness haha
Well, that eagerness might have lasted for a month or two, and then you’d likely get cold feet… I mean, now you were more patient and self-aware than with your previous date, which lasted for only a short while. And you could better control your impulse to run away, which is great! So I think you are actually doing better now than a few months ago, but it’s still probably not enough for her, since you’re not very “eager”.
And No She never complained about my emotional “coolness”/reservedness only praised it many times.
Actually she kind of did – remember when she got angry when you didn’t contact her while you were at your parents’ place for a week? Also now, she was surprised that you weren’t more upset when she told you about her ex. And even the fact that she chose to meet her ex and is considering getting back with him is to me a proof that she isn’t getting what she wants in the relationship with you.
I am not judging you or anything, I am just saying that these are all signs that she probably didn’t like your coolness towards her, although she might have appreciated it otherwise, in other situations.
But like I told you before she’s like a high school girl she just feels “a lot” so it’s obvious that she wants someone like that?
Not necessarily. She might appreciate someone calm and composed, i.e. stable and not overly emotional in everyday situations, someone who will not explode easily at people or make rash decisions. So maybe someone a little different than her. Someone to ground her. However, it doesn’t mean that she likes when you are being cool and not eager towards her. Because those are two different things – how you behave with others and how you behave with her.
So I talked to her this evening. She and her ex had a meeting and apparently, He wants her back and she said he’s not like before (Which I doubt it somewhat) she’s still feeling conflicted but she said she don’t want to cut ties with me…So she didn’t gave him any answer and told him to wait…
If she feels conflicted, it kind of confirms what I suspect: that she likes one part of you (cool and composed with others), but she doesn’t like the other part of you (cool and not eager with her). So she is vacillating…
So I told her take her time, I’ll support her decision.
Okay… so you’ll leave it to her to make the decision. But keep in mind that she is most probably not happy with your coolness towards her, and that’s something that will bother her. You can even ask her about it – whether your lack of eagerness is the reason she is thinking about returning to her ex.
April 26, 2023 at 7:52 am #417746SereneWolf
ParticipantHola Tee,
I am doing similarly, still no big breakthrough in healing…
Ohh you still haven’t found a good doctor?
Yeah I know what you mean – when you feel that their kindness is not sincere, but it comes with an expectation of you doing them a favor in the future, of giving them something in return. Yes, I’ve met such people. Don’t like them either…
Sometimes I wonder if it’s the same with my parents. I mean it could be just innocent love to their kids. But just because they provided me in the childhood now they’re expecting things from me?
Right, you seem “calm and composed”, but that’s because you’re good at controlling yourself and not letting it show. But inside, you feel very angry. As I said, I think a part of that anger isn’t related to the actual person standing in front of you, but it’s the anger at your father… and so you overreact (internally) to the person, although it doesn’t show on the outside. Or at least it’s not so obvious…
Yeah that’s right
There is this youtube channel that I like, called the Crappy Childhood Fairy, which is focused on healing from C-PTSD. And she teaches a method of daily journaling, which she calls “The Daily Practice.” The video describing it is titled “Calm Anxiety – Learn this simple technique 15 minutes“. She explains how she writes down all her fears and resentments, meditates on it a little, and then she asks God (for those who believe) to remove them. Or for non-believers, they can say they are ready to release those fears and resentments.
I do it a little differently, but I do write things down, and usually have some insight about what’s behind my fear or resentment, and it makes me feel better.
I’ve watched the video and it seems really on point so basically the idea is just putting down your negative thoughts on paper because PTSD mind is mostly dysregulated. Right?
Also she said anyone who gone thorough abuse would most probably have dysregulated mind and therefore symptoms of C-PTSD
I also took her free test for today and now I’m more firm that I may have C-PTSD
I’ve just tried the method today and I’m kind of feeling like less weight of fears already. I’m also trying to find insights, but I guess I’m just tired today.
Do you think you could do it, or you still have doubts?
Well currently I’m just trying affirmations but the thing is that I’m not used to tell myself nicer things, so I have to dig deeper and find my unique and skills and abilities.
I took time to write because I was busy and frustrated with work, I think I’m still very much of a result-driven person. Because I’m working on this project for so long trying different strategies but getting the same result and less efficient. It’s really making me feel down and questioning my abilities.
April 26, 2023 at 8:25 am #417747SereneWolf
ParticipantHi Tee,
well, she wanted to tell you she loves you, and probably expected to hear the same from you… Because you’ve been dating for a while, visiting each other, watching the stars together… I don’t think it’s extreme, but for you, it’s too much. Because for you, telling someone you love them comes with a lot of load, with fear of vulnerability, and perhaps fear of their expectations… Perhaps for you it’s like something that would start an avalanche of scary things, and you don’t want it, right?
Well in-person we met like total 5 times only. And yeah so for me telling someone I love them comes with lot of responsibilities (Which I’m always trying to run away from) Because then there are just lot of rules as a lover you know. And after admitting I prefer to follow those rules no matter what.
Hm…. yeah, or it’s fear of getting hurt? I think in people with avoidant attachment, it’s rather the latter…
Hmm I guess so, But right now I don’t feel hurt (much)
Well, that eagerness might have lasted for a month or two, and then you’d likely get cold feet… I mean, now you were more patient and self-aware than with your previous date, which lasted for only a short while. And you could better control your impulse to run away, which is great! So I think you are actually doing better now than a few months ago, but it’s still probably not enough for her, since you’re not very “eager”.
Yeah finding the “right” woman ain’t that easy. But yeah thanks I do feel like I did good progress regarding this matter
Actually she kind of did – remember when she got angry when you didn’t contact her while you were at your parents’ place for a week? Also now, she was surprised that you weren’t more upset when she told you about her ex. And even the fact that she chose to meet her ex and is considering getting back with him is to me a proof that she isn’t getting what she wants in the relationship with you.
I am not judging you or anything, I am just saying that these are all signs that she probably didn’t like your coolness towards her, although she might have appreciated it otherwise, in other situations.
Hmm I see so I guess in some situations I might have didn’t showed my coolness
Not necessarily. She might appreciate someone calm and composed, i.e. stable and not overly emotional in everyday situations, someone who will not explode easily at people or make rash decisions. So maybe someone a little different than her. Someone to ground her. However, it doesn’t mean that she likes when you are being cool and not eager towards her. Because those are two different things – how you behave with others and how you behave with her.
Yeah so about this, I’m still learning how to express myself and not always hide if I’m showing that I’m not calm with that thing yet even though I am, That would be lying, Don’t you think so? And Yeah I accept it’s just my non-attachment towards her talking
So yeah I talked to her If my coolness is bothering or there’s something else? She can share anything without hesitating.
She told me that “When I started talking to you I thought you’d be obsessed with me, Because that’s how it went for me in the past, and Because I already love you, Things would go much faster between us, and yet I enjoyed every moment we shared together I was waiting that you’d break your “rules” just for me (Because I already talked to her about my fear in relationship) and take steps further, So I tried to do it but you still stopped me and I agree with you, You wanted things to go slow but it did hurt me because no one ever said me No like that. But the thing is that I couldn’t make you feel very attached me and it frustrates me a lot. “
I was speechless after hearing this! I couldn’t even say anything for a minute. I was thinking like what should I even say to this.
But I said “I’m sorry you feel that way but I’m still working on myself, healing myself if I take things faster I worry that I might hurt your feelings and my first priority is that not giving you discomfort or hurt you just because of me.”
She went on trip with her sister so when she’ll be back she’ll think about this matter.
April 27, 2023 at 12:47 am #417765Tee
ParticipantHi SereneWolf,
good to hear from you again!
Well in-person we met like total 5 times only. And yeah so for me telling someone I love them comes with lot of responsibilities (Which I’m always trying to run away from) Because then there are just lot of rules as a lover you know. And after admitting I prefer to follow those rules no matter what.
I see… meeting 5 times in total isn’t too much. And I understand you don’t want to rush things. Specially because you’re still working on yourself and trying to heal. You’re taking it slowly, and I actually think it’s good.
Yeah so about this, I’m still learning how to express myself and not always hide if I’m showing that I’m not calm with that thing yet even though I am, That would be lying, Don’t you think so? And Yeah I accept it’s just my non-attachment towards her talking
Yes, if you’d pretend to be upset when you’re not – that would be dishonest and lying. Better be true to yourself – even if your truth at this point is to be more reserved than she would prefer to.
I’d like to correct something I said last time, and it’s this:
However, it doesn’t mean that she likes when you are being cool and not eager towards her. Because those are two different things – how you behave with others and how you behave with her.
Actually I was thinking about it, and those are not two different things. Because it’s still you in both of those situations, and you have fear of expressing emotions, both anger and resentment, as well as love and attachment. (You’re working on it, so don’t worry, you’ll get there). But anyway, we can’t suppress negative emotions selectively without suppressing positive emotions as well. So if you suppress anger, you cannot express love freely either. That’s how we operate.
Right now, your “calm and composed” stance in social situations is more due to the suppression of anger and self-control, right? Likewise, your slightly distant and detached stance with your girlfriend is a part of the same pattern. It’s not really your true self, but a defense mechanism. But it’s the same pattern: suppressing emotions, keeping a distance, which you exhibit both in social situations and in intimate relationships.
So I was wrong when I said those are two different things. They are not – it’s the same defense mechanism working in you. But as I said, don’t worry about it, you’re working on it.
I was speechless after hearing this! I couldn’t even say anything for a minute. I was thinking like what should I even say to this.
Yes, that was a powerful and very honest confession of hers! She is very self-observant and she realized she had expectations on you, even though you told her you want to go slowly. You told her your own limitations, but she still expected you’d break free from those limitations – just for her. She hoped she would be the one to finally “melt your heart”, so to speak. Well, that’s a very good self-reflection and I like her for being so honest. But I also like your response, it was really great:
But I said “I’m sorry you feel that way but I’m still working on myself, healing myself if I take things faster I worry that I might hurt your feelings and my first priority is that not giving you discomfort or hurt you just because of me.”
Amazing, mature response! You re-stated your current limitations and boundaries, and you stood by them. But you were also kind and caring towards her, telling her you don’t want to hurt her by those limitations/boundaries. And so you are letting her decide how to proceed. Well done, SereneWolf!
She went on trip with her sister so when she’ll be back she’ll think about this matter.
Good! I like that you can talk to each other so honestly. That’s a good sign. I hope it’s not the end of your relationship, but even if it is, you handled this very well. Very maturely. Kudos to you! 🙂
April 27, 2023 at 12:10 pm #417780Tee
ParticipantHi SereneWolf,
Ohh you still haven’t found a good doctor?
ahh, I think I am not a typical case and not responding well to treatment…
Sometimes I wonder if it’s the same with my parents. I mean it could be just innocent love to their kids. But just because they provided me in the childhood now they’re expecting things from me?
What kind of expectations do they have? To provide for them financially, or in general, about how you should live your life and what career path you should take? Do you feel that your mother treats you kindly, talks nicely to you, but underneath you feel she expects you to follow a certain path or be a certain way?
I’ve watched the video and it seems really on point so basically the idea is just putting down your negative thoughts on paper because PTSD mind is mostly dysregulated. Right?
Yeah, it’s a way to separate ourselves from our fears and our resentments – because by writing them down, it’s like we observe them, we don’t identify with them. So we’re less consumed by them. Which means – more regulated, more able to think clearly. And also, once we write it down, we gain clarity about what bothers us, and it helps us deal with the problem.
I also took her free test for today and now I’m more firm that I may have C-PTSD
Yes, I think almost everyone with emotional neglect and abuse has it….
I’ve just tried the method today and I’m kind of feeling like less weight of fears already.
Wow, that’s cool! Good to hear!
I’m also trying to find insights, but I guess I’m just tired today.
Sure, give yourself time…
Well currently I’m just trying affirmations but the thing is that I’m not used to tell myself nicer things, so I have to dig deeper and find my unique and skills and abilities.
Introspection, courage, curiosity, fast learning, openness to new ideas… to mention just a few 🙂 But in fact, you are worthy just by being born. For some people, their talents are hidden because they have been abused, and so they may have become addicts etc. However, they are still worthy, they only need to connect to their core, their true self…
It’s like diamonds covered in dirt – they aren’t always visible, but they are there. Your talents are visible, but I am just saying, even if they weren’t, you would still be worthy…
I took time to write because I was busy and frustrated with work, I think I’m still very much of a result-driven person. Because I’m working on this project for so long trying different strategies but getting the same result and less efficient. It’s really making me feel down and questioning my abilities.
I am sorry you’re not getting the desired results. Is there someone you can consult about it?
April 30, 2023 at 6:21 am #417995SereneWolf
ParticipantHi Tee,
But anyway, we can’t suppress negative emotions selectively without suppressing positive emotions as well. So if you suppress anger, you cannot express love freely either. That’s how we operate.
Hmm That’s interesting, I didn’t know about this
Right now, your “calm and composed” stance in social situations is more due to the suppression of anger and self-control, right? Likewise, your slightly distant and detached stance with your girlfriend is a part of the same pattern. It’s not really your true self, but a defense mechanism. But it’s the same pattern: suppressing emotions, keeping a distance, which you exhibit both in social situations and in intimate relationships.
So I was wrong when I said those are two different things. They are not – it’s the same defense mechanism working in you. But as I said, don’t worry about it, you’re working on it.
So this defense mechanism is like still part of me or just something I’m using as a block for intimate relationships?
Amazing, mature response! You re-stated your current limitations and boundaries, and you stood by them. But you were also kind and caring towards her, telling her you don’t want to hurt her by those limitations/boundaries. And so you are letting her decide how to proceed. Well done, SereneWolf!
Good! I like that you can talk to each other so honestly. That’s a good sign. I hope it’s not the end of your relationship, but even if it is, you handled this very well. Very maturely. Kudos to you!
Thank a lot for your encouragement. I did learn things from you so thanks to you as well.
So yeah, I do like her vulnerability and honesty. But I think her older emotions are still strong. And to be honest I totally understand her dilemma as well but I don’t want to be with someone who isn’t sure about me. So, when she’ll come back I’ll tell her No. I’m not worried about ending this relationship. It’ll take few days but I’ll be alright.
April 30, 2023 at 6:51 am #417997SereneWolf
ParticipantDear Tee,
ahh, I think I am not a typical case and not responding well to treatment…
Oh I hope you feel better soon…
What kind of expectations do they have? To provide for them financially, or in general, about how you should live your life and what career path you should take? Do you feel that your mother treats you kindly, talks nicely to you, but underneath you feel she expects you to follow a certain path or be a certain way?
Providing financially is okay for me and I’m doing that. But it’s also general like my father now don’t tell me things to do in certain way but still kinda pinpoint what others are doing and it’s frustrate me a lot like why do you have to care what they’re doing? Can’t you be satisfied once with what we have? Same with my grandfather whenever I call him.
For my mother she’s just still overly protective (I know there’s some fault of mine as well for this) She literally tells me to lock the door before sleep. Like mom I know I’m not a child anymore.
Yeah, it’s a way to separate ourselves from our fears and our resentments – because by writing them down, it’s like we observe them, we don’t identify with them. So we’re less consumed by them. Which means – more regulated, more able to think clearly. And also, once we write it down, we gain clarity about what bothers us, and it helps us deal with the problem.
Right and you know I got another idea for this. Taking voice notes like as I said before when I was feeling frustrated after talking on call with my father, I take voice notes to let out that frustration, but my anger is I think nearly at tipping point so maybe I will confront things to him.
Introspection, courage, curiosity, fast learning, openness to new ideas… to mention just a few But in fact, you are worthy just by being born. For some people, their talents are hidden because they have been abused, and so they may have become addicts etc. However, they are still worthy, they only need to connect to their core, their true self…
It’s like diamonds covered in dirt – they aren’t always visible, but they are there. Your talents are visible, but I am just saying, even if they weren’t, you would still be worthy…
Thanks! And yeah, I agree also since you mention addiction, I think it’s also something which is wasting lot of my time. I’ve read more about CPTSD, and it’s also mentioned that anorexia and Technology addiction could be the part of it and it’s relatable for me. For me even though when not working it’s not easy for me just not waste time on screen for no reason at all.
I am sorry you’re not getting the desired results. Is there someone you can consult about it?
No I can’t. because I’m supposed to be “Expert” in this. I talked to the people working on the same kind of projects and they are all telling me the same things that I’m already doing. Which is making me even more anxious… But I’m trying to ground myself by not getting attached to the results.
May 4, 2023 at 4:28 am #418168Tee
ParticipantHi SereneWolf,
sorry for not replying earlier, I’ve been feeling slightly down due to my health.
So this defense mechanism is like still part of me or just something I’m using as a block for intimate relationships?
I think this defense mechanism (suppressing your emotions) is active both in your social interactions and in your intimate relationships. In social interactions, you mostly suppress anger and are trying to hide it, so that it doesn’t show. In your previous relationship (LDR) you were also trying to suppress anger at your girlfriend when she wouldn’t show up for a date, or when she wouldn’t follow your advice regarding a healthy lifestyle or similar. So you were suppressing your anger there too.
In this relationship you didn’t speak so much about getting angry, but it’s more like you didn’t show too much enthusiasm for her. You showed a certain detachment. So the emotion in this case was missing, rather than suppressed. I know a part of it is because you were still in the early phases of the relationship. But I think a part of your “coolness” is that you don’t actually allow yourself to get attached, because you’re afraid of getting hurt. There is a fear there, and that’s why this emotion (love, desire to connect and bond with someone) is missing. It is suppressed as well, but on a deeper level, I think.
Thank a lot for your encouragement. I did learn things from you so thanks to you as well.
You’re welcome!
So yeah, I do like her vulnerability and honesty. But I think her older emotions are still strong. And to be honest I totally understand her dilemma as well but I don’t want to be with someone who isn’t sure about me. So, when she’ll come back I’ll tell her No. I’m not worried about ending this relationship. It’ll take few days but I’ll be alright.
I know you’re not worried about ending the relationship. I mean a part of you feels revealed, right? 🙂 However, I think you should be honest with yourself and ask yourself: am I really upset that she is not sure about me, or am I using this as an excuse to take my leave? Because originally you weren’t upset about it, you told her to decide what she wants. But now you’re changing your attitude…
Please don’t get me wrong – you have absolutely every right to say No to her. And indeed, if she is hesitating, it’s not a good sign. But just be honest with yourself and examine what the real reason for rejecting her is.
I’ll reply to your second post in a separate post…
May 4, 2023 at 4:30 am #418170Tee
Participant* a part of you feels relieved
May 4, 2023 at 4:56 am #418171Tee
ParticipantHi SereneWolf,
Providing financially is okay for me and I’m doing that. But it’s also general like my father now don’t tell me things to do in certain way but still kinda pinpoint what others are doing and it’s frustrate me a lot like why do you have to care what they’re doing? Can’t you be satisfied once with what we have? Same with my grandfather whenever I call him.
I see… they’re not criticizing you directly, but comparing you to other people, and then you feel indirectly criticized and judged, right? Do you also feel it in their tone of voice – that they’re not pleased with you and expect you to do more?
For my mother she’s just still overly protective (I know there’s some fault of mine as well for this) She literally tells me to lock the door before sleep. Like mom I know I’m not a child anymore.
Well, that’s harmless, in my opinion. That’s what mothers do. What she used to do in the past – to plead with you to tolerate your father’s abuse – that was harmful. But this I think is harmless…
Right and you know I got another idea for this. Taking voice notes like as I said before when I was feeling frustrated after talking on call with my father, I take voice notes to let out that frustration, but my anger is I think nearly at tipping point so maybe I will confront things to him.
Yes, taking voice notes is a great idea too. Have you talked to your father in the meanwhile?
And yeah, I agree also since you mention addiction, I think it’s also something which is wasting lot of my time. I’ve read more about CPTSD, and it’s also mentioned that anorexia and Technology addiction could be the part of it and it’s relatable for me. For me even though when not working it’s not easy for me just not waste time on screen for no reason at all.
Yes, addiction is a very frequent consequence of C-PTSD. So you say you’re suffering from anorexia? I myself suffered both from anorexia and bulimia. We can talk more about it, if you’d like. I realized that for myself, anorexia was about rejecting nurturance, because my mother didn’t give me the proper kind of nurturance (emotional), but only physical food. And it wasn’t good enough. I needed to be loved and appreciated – feeding me and meeting my physical needs wasn’t enough (and my mother thought that’s the only thing a child needs).
No I can’t. because I’m supposed to be “Expert” in this. I talked to the people working on the same kind of projects and they are all telling me the same things that I’m already doing. Which is making me even more anxious… But I’m trying to ground myself by not getting attached to the results.
Oh I see… that’s frustrating when you’re trying everything, and it’s still not working :/ How is it now, any new developments?
May 4, 2023 at 11:50 am #418184SereneWolf
ParticipantHey Tee,
My cat was missing for two days and just today I find out that she died from jumping from the fence and there was some sharp objects. I buried her. I can’t express how I feel I’m feeling like I’ve lost someone really close to me for years even though it was just for like 4 months. Today after a lot of time I cried a lot. I still feel like when I’ll open the door she’s gonna come.
May 4, 2023 at 11:51 am #418185SereneWolf
ParticipantWhy you’re feeling down? you’re not able to take care of yourself properly?
May 4, 2023 at 12:22 pm #418187Tee
ParticipantDear SereneWolf,
I am so sorry about your cat, that’s such a horrible news 🙁 You were close to her and now she is gone… I am so sorry.
It’s good that you cried and allowed yourself to feel it all… Hold on, SereneWolf…
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