Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Feels like Time is passing too fast
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Tee.
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July 15, 2026 at 9:11 am #459450
TeeParticipantHola SereneWolf,
what a nice surprise, happy to hear from you! 🙂
I’m BAU regarding my health, juggling between several health issues, but as I said, practicing radical acceptance and focusing on other things that might improve my life in different ways. So psychologically I’m more or less okay, even if physically life is not the best.
Quite good. The team is nice, and my manager is kind and supportive. Although sometimes the work and projects do feel overwhelming because even after I complete my work, my mind doesn’t switch off. I keep replaying everything and worrying that my manager will think it’s not good enough or that they’ll be disappointed in me. The anxiety continues even after work hours, and it’s difficult to stop thinking about it.
I’m glad you’re happy with your job and that your manager is kind and supportive. That’s such a treasure! But I’m sorry that the “good old” (or rather the bad old) inner critic is active again (we had a name for it: was it drill sergeant or something similar?).
Actually, my understanding of the inner critic evolved a bit since then. I’ve learned that it has a protective function: its goal is to make sure that the child does everything perfectly, so not to be criticized by the strict/judgmental parent. The child wants to please the parent and get their validation, and so the drill sergeant is there to make sure the child doesn’t mess up. The child is now our inner child…
So rather than being mad at the inner critic and telling him to stop criticizing you, perhaps a more efficient way is to tell him, calmly and with a lot of compassion, that you understand his concerns, but that it’s okay even if you don’t do everything perfectly. That you will love the little SereneWolf (your inner child) regardless. And you’ll think he is a very capable little chap regardless 🙂
So instead of fighting the inner critic, to reassure him that you’ve got it? What do you think?
As for ADHD, I remember a while ago you mentioned ADHD… you said you were rated as mild ADHD in an online test, however you didn’t like some of your symptoms, such as low dopamine and short focus span. I am glad that some of those symptoms have now lessened!
Since I’m very ignorant about drugs used for mental health conditions, I immediately start thinking about potential side-effects. How is it with this drug? You did mention you’re only taking a small dose, so I guess you’re not experiencing any side effects?
I stayed at her place for a while. Since we had only been online friends before, this was the first time we actually met in person and spent time together. We were surprisingly comfortable with each other.
It’s nice that you’ve opened up emotionally to a girl and that it was easy to actually spend time with her, that you felt comfortable around her. Do you feel you could be yourself around her, you didn’t feel like you needed to perform?
I can already feel myself getting attached, but at the same time I know I don’t want to move forward into a relationship with her. We’re both clear about that.
May I ask what’s the reason for that? Is it relationship anxiety on your part or she too doesn’t want anything more serious? But it’s good that she is clear about where you stand, so there are no surprises.
Lately, through therapy and seeing a psychiatrist (just recently but yeah), I think I’m finally starting to see the pattern more clearly. It isn’t really about jobs, relationships, or even the future. It’s my constant need for reassurance and certainty. My mind keeps believing that if I just get one more answer or one more sign that everything will be okay, then I’ll finally relax. But it never really lasts. I’m also realizing how much I monitor myself instead of just living, and how afraid I am of not being chosen or not being “good enough.”
That’s wonderful that you’re starting to see this pattern, which seems like what you’ve mentioned in the previous post: about this base-level, constant anxiety, which always needs some outer reassurance to calm down. But it never does, it’s like a bottomless pit.
The biggest lesson I’m trying to learn now is to trust myself more, tolerate uncertainty, and stop waiting until I feel completely ready. I don’t think I need more answers anymore. I think I just need to keep taking the next small step, even with uncertainty.
This is a very valuable insight! Realizing that nothing external will soothe this base-level, ever-present anxiety: the soothing needs to come from within, from you trusting yourself (and trusting IN yourself) more.
Which is what you’re learning to do now… congratulations, and keep it up, SereneWolf! 🙂
August 8, 2026 at 12:10 pm #459939
SereneWolfParticipantHi Tee,
I hope you’re doing well. It’s always good to know how good you are with acceptance (more than hope). What have you been up to? Activity-wise? Or you can’t do much?
doesn’t mess up. The child is now our inner child…
So rather than being mad at the inner critic and telling him to stop criticizing you, perhaps a more efficient way is to tell him, calmly and with a lot of compassion, that you understand his concerns, but that it’s okay even if you don’t do everything perfectly. That you will love the little SereneWolf (your inner child) regardless. And you’ll think he is a very capable little chap regardless 🙂
So instead of fighting the inner critic, to reassure him that you’ve got it? What do you think?
Thanks for always being a good reminder. I know I’m quite forgetful. Is that why I need more reminders? Haha. But thanks anyway. I think the difference is that a few years back I could tell when I was being too harsh on myself. Now I’ve almost learned to be aware of it whenever I start talking harshly to myself, and I rationalize it by saying, “It’s okay, chill, no big deal. Mistakes happen.” So now I suppose it’s somewhere buried at the subconscious level. Because again, one of the things I mentioned is that I’m taking these job tasks very personally (I know I shouldn’t), but I still keep thinking that I have to complete them in way that they’re satified. Otherwise there’s this fear and anxiety of being replaced. I also noticed that I don’t take constructive criticism very well. I take it personally. Although nowadays I’m kind of practicing and reminding myself to do things out of love, not from fear.
As for ADHD, I remember a while ago you mentioned ADHD… you said you were rated as mild ADHD in an online test, however you didn’t like some of your symptoms, such as low dopamine and short focus span. I am glad that some of those symptoms have now lessened!
Since I’m very ignorant about drugs used for mental health conditions, I immediately start thinking about potential side-effects. How is it with this drug? You did mention you’re only taking a small dose, so I guess you’re not experiencing any side effects?
So yeah, about that. They did a proper assessment, like sitting down and filling out questionnaires, and they found that I don’t have ADHD because my childhood symptoms don’t really show anything. It all started in adulthood. But yeah, anxiety and restlessness are definitely there, so they’re looking into it. Because of the meds, I’m not taking afternoon naps anymore, and I’m actually able to just sit and work for hours (only if I don’t get distracted by something first). But sometimes physical intimacy issues because of the medication, which is annoying, but I still have to take it for at least two more months.
It’s nice that you’ve opened up emotionally to a girl and that it was easy to actually spend time with her, that you felt comfortable around her. Do you feel you could be yourself around her, you didn’t feel like you needed to perform?
Actually no, I didn’t feel like I needed to perform because we had both kind of accepted that we’re not perfect, so it was okay to show both our good and messy sides.
May I ask what’s the reason for that? Is it relationship anxiety on your part or she too doesn’t want anything more serious? But it’s good that she is clear about where you stand, so there are no surprises.
Yup, she doesn’t want anything more serious either. And I’m moving to another city next month, so after that we probably won’t be seeing each other much.
Also, random thought..I’ve been feeling like I need a fresh name, so I’m thinking of changing my username to Swolf. Feels like a fresh chapter somehow.
August 8, 2026 at 12:12 pm #459940SereneWolfParticipant.
August 9, 2026 at 10:24 pm #459972TeeParticipantHi SereneWolf,
hello, good to hear from you! 🙂
It’s always good to know how good you are with acceptance (more than hope).
Yeah, radical acceptance of the things I cannot change. And a hope that the things/conditions that I cannot change and that are chronic and progressive… won’t progress too quickly but as slow as possible. So I guess there is both acceptance and hope within that acceptance…
What have you been up to? Activity-wise? Or you can’t do much?
Physical activity wise – not too much. I was planning to go to holidays, but had some unexpected obstacles with that too. So it’s weird and makes you think why things line up like that… but again, what to do but try to problem-solve and… radically accept 🙂
Thanks for always being a good reminder. I know I’m quite forgetful. Is that why I need more reminders? Haha. But thanks anyway.
You’re welcome! Yeah, never enough reminders to be kind to your precious inner child <3
I think the difference is that a few years back I could tell when I was being too harsh on myself. Now I’ve almost learned to be aware of it whenever I start talking harshly to myself, and I rationalize it by saying, “It’s okay, chill, no big deal. Mistakes happen.” So now I suppose it’s somewhere buried at the subconscious level. Because again, one of the things I mentioned is that I’m taking these job tasks very personally (I know I shouldn’t), but I still keep thinking that I have to complete them in way that they’re satified. Otherwise there’s this fear and anxiety of being replaced. I also noticed that I don’t take constructive criticism very well. I take it personally.
I see. Your inner voice has become softer, less judgmental in the past few years, but you still fear making mistakes, out of fear of being replaced, right? It seems like the old fear of not being good enough. Perhaps believing that you need to be perfect (a perfect employee), otherwise they might replace you?
So now I suppose it’s somewhere buried at the subconscious level.
Hmm, it seems to me that the inner critic is still there, only now it’s changed style. Now it’s more soft-spoken and not as harsh (perhaps not as verbally abusive as before?). But your/his expectations are still running high (something like, “do this perfectly, don’t mess this up”). Which I think is driving your anxiety…
In fact, something’s just occurred to me, and please disregard it if it doesn’t apply. But it seems to me that the area where you experience the most anxiety is around your job and career. The need to be perfect, to perform perfectly, so that you wouldn’t be replaced/fired, right?
If I understood well, your restlessness and anxiety also show up mostly during working hours, right? Well it occurred to me that it might be exactly because of this pressure to perform, i.e. that you hold yourself to a very high standard. And then you experience anxiety because you fear failing that standard…
In fact, I have a wild idea about what might be happening, please bear with me. I imagine it like a dynamic between the drill sergeant (who holds you to a high standard and expects perfection) and a novice (your inner child), who is trying to meet that standard but feels inadequate. And because he feels inadequate, and/or he rebels against the drill sergeant, he sabotages himself by getting distracted and not being able to focus (you said you lose focus easily), or by getting really tired and needing to take a nap in the afternoon.
This is just an idea – let me know if it sounds plausible? I’m sorry if I’m oversimplifying it… but since the doctors said it’s not a classic ADHD, perhaps this kind of explanation is feasible?
I really wish you to get to the bottom of it, and find a long-term solution.
As for a new screen name – sure, why not? We change, and so our screen names can change too 🙂
Wishing you a smooth move to the new city! Is it a work-related move or you just want to explore a new environment while still working remotely?
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