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I Feel So Rejected By Men

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  • March 7, 2022 at 7:56 pm #394620
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I got some tablets for the gastro and gave been sleeping. I am going back to work tomorrow.  It is a staff meeting day.

    March 7, 2022 at 8:12 pm #394621
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear HoneyBlossom:

    Good thing you’ve been sleeping!!! Rest for the rest of your Tues afternoon-evening-night. In about 20 min I’ll go to bed myself. Good afternoon/ night to you, HoneyBlossom!

    anita

    March 9, 2022 at 12:55 am #394750
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Hello Anita. I hope you are well.  We had our fortnightly staff meeting today  and I had my month lk y supervision meeting with my manager. I’m pleased to say that I don’t think it could have gone better.

    My manager said that every staff member has made the same medication error which I made.  He also offered some input on changing some practices aimed at p reventingit from happening. I an a lk used what had happened and what I felt contributed to the error.  He said that he is very happy with my work, that he knows I am very competent, and sees that I immediately own my mist asked and work to improve practice from those were o rd.

    I told him that I am struggling very much with so m any 12 hour shifts and sleepovers. I didn’t realise that I do more than everyone else. He talked about offering one of our casual workers more hours so that at Le a st son e if my 12 hour shifts can change to 7 o r 8 hours.  She has young children and the shorter hours suit her.

    The worker who h a s been very rude to people spoke to us today. He said he feels very unwell. He is only 50 but had a pacemaker in for quite a few years.  He coughed a lot and said the doctors don’t really know the cause of the cough.  He is very overweight and also suffers from sleep apnea but the masks and machine are not suitable for him.

    We got through a lot of important work issues at the meeting, and I also did some “hands-on work so it was a productive day.

    He says I will be able to take leave very soon, but we have not worked out dates yet.

    March 9, 2022 at 1:17 am #394751
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    I am wondering if anyone here has studied the poetry of William Blake – especially Songs of Innocence and Ssings of Experience. I’ve wanted to study it quite some time, and n o w that I’m older, I think that it is even more relevant for me.

    My understanding is that Blake wrote of us having been b open innocent, but through experience, we lost our innocence, and learn to regain that innocence. I think he believed that whilst we could not really regain our innocence, we could become happy.

    March 9, 2022 at 11:13 am #394768
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear HoneyBlossom:

    Congratulations for your staff meeting going so well! Good to read that your manager was understanding, kind, helpful and appreciative of your work, your competency and your character (for immediately owning your mistake)! I hope that all your work shifts will be shorter than 12 hours with fewer, if any sleepovers.

    I hope your co-worker, the one with a pacemaker, will be getting better soon!

    I know that understandably, you are interested in other members replying to you as well, and there is a lesser chance of that happening if your thread looks more and more like a conversation between two people. One way to solve this problem is for you to start a new thread where I will not post (I can keep communicating with you on this existing thread). Another way is that you post without addressing me, just as you did with your most recent post, and I will not reply, following such a post. Please let me know how you prefer to go about it.

    In regard to Robert Blake’s poems about innocence, Auguries of Innocence is one: “To see a World in a Grain of Sand * And a Heaven in a Wild Flower * Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand * And Eternity in an hour * A Robin Red breast in a Cage * Puts all Heaven in a Rage *… A dog starved at his Masters Gate * Predicts the ruin of the State * … A Truth that’s told with bad intent * Beats all the Lies you can invent * … He who mocks the Infants Faith * Shall be mocked in Age & Death * …He who respects the Infants faith *  Triumphs over Hell & Death… “.

    You wrote: “My understanding is that Blake wrote of us having been open innocent, but through experience, we lost our innocence, and learn to regain that innocence” – your understanding, as I understand it, makes sense to me. Those who mocked our childhood innocence, took it away from us, and we, in turn, took the innocence of others. The way back to innocence is to do-no-harm: to not cage or starve, or tell the truth with the intent to harm… or lie, or harm others in other ways.

    anita

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by .
    March 10, 2022 at 5:14 am #394799
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Thanks very much Anita. I will read other people’s posts for a while as right now I can’t think of another topic to post about.

    One of the workers has COVID so we are all having to test daily for 7 days but a part from that, no further news.

    March 10, 2022 at 6:44 am #394806
    Anonymous
    Guest

    – You are welcome, HoneyBlossom. I hope that you keep testing negative and that you rest before your scheduled surgery, later this month.

    When you post next, if you want me to reply to you, please address me by name. If you want to increase your chances that other members reply to you, please submit a post that does not address me or mentions my name. In that case, I will not reply to you (and hopefully others will).

    anita

     

    March 10, 2022 at 6:51 am #394809
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Thank you Anita.  I will remember to do that.

    March 11, 2022 at 8:53 pm #394921
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    It’s very early autumn here.  April is the best time where I live.  Perfect for gardening.  I neglected my roses this last year. I used to love being out with my roses.

    Well today I started pruning, not all the way back as t h ey will give a final show in April so I’m going to give them some love.

    I have to go to work now and sleep over but I plan to resume rose gardening when I get home.

    After I pruned, I saw for the first time in at least 2 years or more, tiny blue fairy when, several of them leeching on the cut rose canes. I didn’t know they are native to Eastern Australia.

    Would love to stay home, but got to bring in the mid nn e.g. to keep living here and taking good care of us all.  The dogs are sleeping at my best when feet, and Rosemarie will cone later and take them to her home where they will have fun with the other dogs.

    March 14, 2022 at 6:50 am #395089
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    I worked 2 sleepovers in a row. It was a public holiday here, but on the way home, I found some stores open.  I wanted to buy some things to help stay safe from this outbreak of Japanese Mosquito Virus and Encephalitis.  I found some fun things – sandalwood and citronella mosquito coils and some sandalwood and lavender incense.

    I wasn’t home long when I got a call to say that somebody at work has tested positive to COVID.  The first c all was to ask if I was prepared to go to the isolation unit to care for this man. I said yes but they can’t get enough staff prepared to work there so for now at least they are keeping him where he is.  A staff member has decided to take immedi are leave as her young child has just recovered from measles.

    I’ve picked up another 12 hour shift, but got another 4 phone calls from them asking if I can work more.

    I found myself feeling a lot of anger and resentment at the person who brought the most recent bout of COVID to our workplace.  Not really worth going into, but basically se e nd that she went to A CIVID hotspot interstate. She has messed up things for a lot of people, and put our safety at risk.

    My friend was angry that I picked up some work, but I will manage with just the one 12 hour shift.

    Tomorrow I’m going to do more gardening and tidying up of the Palace. The weather was perfect today.

    March 23, 2022 at 6:18 am #395952
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    I had blood and urine tests today in readiness for the c.f. surgery on Monday.  I have started to feel anxious about going to hospital.  It isn’t  the surgery which makes me nervous.  For me, in past experience, thats the easy part as I’m sedated and then out like a light.

    The fear is paranoia about the people at the hospital, especially the nurses, having such control over me.  I especially hate the tubes. Usually I  have an IV drip, but it’s the tube into my bladder I hate the most.  Apparently it’s okay for most men, but a lot of women find it uncomfortable. It usually hurts a lot when I pass urine after the bladder reactions. The staff get to tell me when I can get out of bed, when I can go to toilet and shower, and when those tubes will come out.  Usually, The tube and bag attached will contain bright red urine from the surgery, and I can’t get it out until my urine becomes clear again.  I am a terrible neurotic patient.

    I go through stages with work where I feel I never want to give work up.  Then I have times of daydreaming of retirement – being able to sleep in, have interests, care for my dogs and roses. Of late, I’m thinking more about retirement.

    The clients at work are now over their COVID which means we do not need to wear the full PPE at present.  All of the workers hate it.  It’s so hot and sweaty and we all feel very stinky at the the end of  the day.

    Another 12 hour shift tomorrow with the fortnightly staff meeting which will last a few hours.

    I will try to be a bit more chill about the hospital.  I’m sure it’s because of my over-controlling family and upbringing, my marriage as well – that the thought of other people controlling me physically fills me with anxiety.

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by HoneyBlossom. Reason: Typos
    April 19, 2022 at 4:31 am #398254
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    So glad that’s over – at least for now

    May 11, 2022 at 3:11 pm #399930
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I hope you are well, HoneyBlossom.

    anita

    May 14, 2022 at 2:02 am #400072
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Hello Anita.  Thank you very much for asking.  I am not too bad thanks.  How are you?  I hope you are well.

     

    I have taken around 10 days off work at short notice as I was becoming very runn-down.  As well, I have felt overwhelmed by all of the things I have had to do at home.  I have not been coping well with the disorganisation of my home.

     

    I have beenboff work around 5 days.  I get to sleep in. When I’m up, I’m either doing things with the dogs.

     

    I finally managed to go to the tip t oday.  Even though it’s been raining for a week, I just can’t put off getting rid of junk in.my back yard.  I have another few trips tomorrow, and then my yard will be okay.

    I’ve gotten my infra-red torch from Spain and been using it on the accupuncture points on the small dog and been doing hydrotherapy with her at home.

    I dont have money to go anywhere right now as I have had a lot of expenditures.

     

    Feeling a bit sad.  Tired.  Feels like life is just about working.  I have so little time.  I wish I could have more time off work, but not to be right now.

    May 14, 2022 at 6:54 am #400075
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear HoneyBlossom:

    You are welcome. I am fine, to be outside the house in an hour for most of the day, away from the computer. I am sorry to read that you’ve been very run-down (understandably, because of the long hours at work and all the tasks to do at home). Good thing you took some time off. I hope that you take care of the things you need to take care of at home, that your dog benefits from the treatments and that you soon feel better and better!

    anita

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