Home→Forums→Relationships→I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love
- This topic has 651 replies, 58 voices, and was last updated 41 minutes ago by
Thomas168.
-
AuthorPosts
-
February 11, 2026 at 4:29 am #455122
ConfusedParticipantHey anita
Therapist today told me that she keeps noticing this pattern on me: “The moment things get closer (intimacy) or the more the girl shows me she is available, the more i pull away. I told her that i feel my feelings are all shutdown and she said “well, makes sense because if they weren’t you would be drawn close to her”. Damn that feels like a curse..Is there any way of getting through that and getting my feelings for her back?
Thank you very much for your words Thomas, i appreciate it 🙂
February 11, 2026 at 5:17 am #455123
RobertaParticipantDear Confused
The practice I described takes less than a minute of your time, needs no special equipment or location, so in any one day you have at least 600 chances to look after your wellbeing.
In life there are roughly three options in the sense when we are ill we can choose go to the doctor or not. Then we get given a prescription & again we choose whether we collect the medicine & then thirdly you choose whether to take the medicine.
You do not wait till you are better & then start taking the medicine.May you be well, safe & happy
RobertaFebruary 11, 2026 at 7:12 am #455124
anitaParticipantGood morning, Confused:
“Is there any way of getting through that and getting my feelings for her back?”-
But you ARE having feelings for her, you described them clearly only 2 days ago, Feb 9: “When it’s some explicit talk (aka sexting) yeah, I get very engaged… I cry in the thought of losing her…We have fun… I like her a lot… I do have many laughs with her… I find her… hot… I do have many laughs with her”-
Getting VERY ENGAGED, CRYING, having FUN, LIKING her A LOT, LAUGHING with her, finding her HOT- these are all feelings and bodily sensations 😊 😄 ✨ 🌞 💛
Anita
February 11, 2026 at 11:02 am #455126anitaParticipantHey Confused: I was wondering, did you report my post before last (previous page) for inappropriate content, intentionally or by mistake)?
February 11, 2026 at 6:03 pm #455136ConfusedParticipantHey Roberta
It feels very hard to concentrate and practice for me, idk why. Maybe i have to try harder? My mind wanders elsewhere instantly.
But i see what u mean, by “getting better” i meant being in a more steady headspace, but maybe this is the way now.
Hey anita
I guess those ARE feelings and maybe i miss the dopamine then? I have to redefine my view on feelings/love. Even though i hesitate to text her, i think about her constantly and just 10 minutes ago i was crying my guts out again, thinking of her and calling her sweet words, but then it goes away and i get indifferent, its strange.
No no i didn’t report it and i didn’t see what u wrote.
February 11, 2026 at 6:21 pm #455137anitaParticipantHmm.. I wonder then who reported it and why 🤔
Well, feelings are strange in the sense that they change. You can’t hold on to them more than you can hold water in one hand.
They are like the weather, they change 🌧 🌞 🌀 🔥 🥶
🤍🌀🌧❄️ Anita
February 11, 2026 at 6:52 pm #455138anitaParticipantAnd you crying 😢 your guts out and then feeling indifferent- that’s not strange in my mind. I mean, if you cry your guts out for too long, you’ll be out of guts (and how 🤔 will you process food with no guts?)
so it’s not “strange” to me that your body-brain stopped the loss of your guts (by suspending feelings/ feeling indifferent 😐 )
😐 🤔 😢 😔 🙂 😏 😴 Anita
February 11, 2026 at 9:04 pm #455144
Thomas168ParticipantThe mind is use to doing whatever it wants to do. Trying to control the mind makes it jump around more. Much like a wild animal, it does not want to be controlled. But, after starting meditation, one begins to find calmness and peace. It takes time and practice. The more practice the better you get at developing concentration. The better the concentration, then you can control yourself moment to moment. It is not an easy thing to do. After a while, one might begin to straighten things in one’s life.
The emotions arise and pass along. That is life. One is not happy all the time. One becomes happy and then soon one becomes calm. One becomes disturbed and then one becomes quiet, undisturbed. All things change. Just don’t cling to one moment’s emotions. Understand it and then move forward. Remember it but move on. Another emotion will come along. It isn’t what you feel at the moment but how you feel in general.
One moment crying about how much you love her and think about her. Then next moment, the feeling drops and you don’t understand why that happened. Change happens. One moment you have happiness but you can not be happy all the time. One always needs to reset and then can be happy again. The more you feel the happiness then the more you can move forward and evolve with it.
Emotions can be force to change when one is intimidated by close contact. But, people can get use to anything. Try being with her and then let the memory help you enjoy those moments. Then you will experience joy and then calm. Next time you get to be close again then you will enjoy it more. The repetition helps. Experience the joy.
-
AuthorPosts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.