Home→Forums→Tough Times→Let her go?
- This topic has 1,011 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 2 months, 2 weeks ago by
anita.
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August 6, 2019 at 9:44 am #306849
AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
Congrats for getting a driver’s license! I think that online dating can be successful- after all it has been, for many- but one has to go about it a certain way and expect it to be a number game, that is, respond to many but expect only a few responses, and to not get attached to any one respondent before meeting that individual in person. I do hope meetups works for you and am looking forward to read about it!
anita
August 6, 2019 at 1:01 pm #306911AnonymousInactiveOops I meant get my license, not got my license. Did my hiking, off to roller blade soon. It’s nice I don’t care about that woman the thread is about anymore again, like thinking about wise. As a human? of course I do, but could care less about the friendship part and will be letting it fade out because if I did as much as she did we would never talk, soooo…yeah. As for the dating app stuff…meh. It’s so exhausting and boring typing to people. Apparently a guy at my work had one of his best friends kill herself because she was inlove with him secretly and nobody knew but he kept talking about his ex and she could not take it anymore, left a 3 page suicide note and the last page was I Love You over and over again. But…the guy lies all the time so nobody at work believes him.
See ya another time.
August 6, 2019 at 1:54 pm #306913AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
If he lies all the time, better not believe what he says. I am glad you don’t care anymore about the friendship with the woman this thread (was?) about. You were frustrated for so long. You sound better now. See ya then when you post again, anytime you want.
anita
August 22, 2019 at 9:31 pm #309027AnonymousInactiveSo I text her that we need to have a talk (she said sounds good), not messaged her since late last month, it’s 2 weeks since I last post but I am still fuming and I can’t seem to let it go. Going to let her know I need a long break. Good idea or bad? First I said “yo”, then she said she was thinking of me yesterday and she will be at her phone later so I just said we need to talk in the next few days. I am just going to be honest and let her know back in October when I asked if we could hang out more and she really seemed like she had been waiting for me to say that, then was going to invite me to events but none of that happened. She never calls me, we only talk because I want to talk, we only text if I wanna text, we only hang out if I wanna hang out, she never initiates and I feel like this is completly 1 sided and that I feel like I am the only one who wants these things so I need a long break (I might make it a forever break though, i’ll block her on my phone and maybe years down the road reply again). Obviously I wont be barking this at her and I need to stop holding this shit in, my god it feels horrible.
Not much that’s happened in the last few weeks for me. Just the normal working and lots of talking/hugging/flirting to the girls I work with, as well as the guys (just talking). Also had UFC last Saturday with 4 others from my work and 1 other. I really wanna go into monk mode and get off my pc and phone for at least a month and work on my keto, I been slacking.
August 23, 2019 at 5:42 am #309045AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
I never asked you and I wonder if it is relevant: are you significantly overweight, as in obese? I ask because you mention keto and weight loss before and such.
If the communication with her has been one sided for a long, long time, then what a shame. I wish it wasn’t so. But it being so, it is hurting you, so better make a change, tell her exactly what it is, that it has been one sided for way too long. Did you ever tell her that clearly, and if you did, what did she say?
anita
August 23, 2019 at 9:16 am #309061AnonymousInactiveUsed to be obese when I made the thread, now I’m 170 and just overweight at 5’10. People say I look skinny though.
no I’ve not been honest and told her except in that October meeting and that 1 other time I could only mention October to her and nothing else and she thought we were fine because I was going to her work for a massage and talking on the phone ( only if I wanted to talk that is), but if I gotta do everything what’s the point? Obviously a 50/50 split should not happen but at least a 70-30 or 80-20 rather then a 99-1.
August 23, 2019 at 10:54 am #309077AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
I don’t have the BMI in front of me but your weight reads okay to me. Well, I wish you were honest with her about what you wanted, clear and straightforward. If instead you gave her double messages, or stopped contact every time without telling her clearly why, or if you told her things that aren’t true about why you stopped contact, that leads to confusion. After all, I am confused.
anita
August 23, 2019 at 12:14 pm #309095AnonymousInactiveSo I should just be honest rather then take a break?
August 23, 2019 at 12:30 pm #309103AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
Be honest first. You can always take a break, why rush. It will take you less than 10 minutes to tell her honestly what it is that bothers you and has bothered you for so long. After that, if you choose to, you can take a break.
I don’t think you have anything to lose by being honest first. Be honest and give her an hour or two to respond. But remember: be completely honest. If you want to send me a first draft of what you want to send her, you can and I’ll tell you what I think of the honesty in it.
anita
August 23, 2019 at 1:25 pm #309109AnonymousInactiveI’ll be doing via phone.
August 23, 2019 at 2:20 pm #309111AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
What you posted here yesterday: “I am just going to be honest and let her know back in October… then was going to invite me to events but none of that happened. She never calls me….. I feel like this is completely 1 sided and that I feel like I am the only one who wants these things”- reads very honest to me. And it is the same thing you expressed here before, many times. Time to express it to her, like you did here.
I think it takes some courage to do that, it being scary.. easier to disappear again, or to take a break, as you call it. But I don’t see the downside of expressing it to her, do you (I may be missing something, so let me know, will you?)
* I will be away from the computer for a while).
anita
August 23, 2019 at 4:36 pm #309117AnonymousInactiveNaw that’s about right. I’ll take a break but tbh I don’t really wanna come back, come back to what? More disappointment?
August 23, 2019 at 5:33 pm #309121AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
I know you don’t want more disappointment and I am all for you not being disappointed yet again and again. So will you tell her how you feel (my quote from you in my recent post) and then take a permanent break from her, is that your plan?
anita
August 23, 2019 at 9:46 pm #309127AnonymousInactiveHopefully but it’s better to go unprepared rather then scripted. Been meaning to text her that I hope she’s not angry or sad that the phone call is going to be our last for a long time and that I just wanted to be honest. Can’t seem to figure out how to word it, nothing works.
August 24, 2019 at 6:10 am #309137AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
It is not “better to go unprepared rather than scripted” because you “Can’t seem to figure out how to word it”-
-Prepare then, simply copy what you already expressed here, it was as honest as can be, the way you worded it here, on your thread, the day before yesterday!
anita
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