Home→Forums→Share Your Truth→My nightmarish day. I want to have a strong heart and a strong future
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Helcat.
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December 31, 2022 at 9:44 am #412915
IvyParticipantHi guys,
It’s @Ivygrl, I’m sorry I didn’t return for a while.There is a site I went to at one point, called YWS aka “Young Writers Society”.
( https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/index.php ) . But they restricted me and banned me out of the site indefinitely and permanently. And It was all my fault. My relationships from that site involved pimping, spamming, and trying to get friends that understand my questions in MY ANGLE, to get help that I need for my writing. I have (and have had) writer’s fatigue, writer’s block, and felt like I got an empty, sad, black hole anytime I enter this site. When I learned about the permanent ban in my account, It’s was so jarring and upsetting, I cried and wished I would run inside a hole and quit. And even wish to die and commit suicide myself. One I see this website, I get in tears and cry like a baby wanting something. It bothers me, because no one likes me in this site and they me to quit entering. I will never remove this memory, I will just dig a straight hole and hurt myself if I can’t figure out a solution to forgive. Affirmations and positive thinking won’t help, it’s going to be too strong to control.Every time I’m entering this site, I am digging an even bigger hole in the spot I’m digging at with a machine drill. What am I supposed to do?
The good news is I decided to go to Reddit and discord for better help instead of YWS .
For New Years resolutions:
– Goal 1 is to make my own regular American novels and make my own Original English Light Novels (based on Asian Light Novels). And maybe I can make drawings and comics on the side, when I’m not working on light novels.– Goal 2 is to work to receive achieving grades for my report cards and achieve my classwork and homework at school to get free time.
– Goal 3 is to practice and play the ukulele. And Goal 4 is to play my new limited edition Uno game (The Uno artiste Takashi Murakami limited edition game, that my mom gave me) with my friends.
I don’t know how to achieve Goal 1 and Goal 2 for the New Years resolution yet. What should I do?
And I almost forgot I’m now 18 years old because my birthday came and years passed when I didn’t go back to this site for a while, because in the previous years I was 16-17 y.o.
If you want to be my friend, hit me up! And if you want, we can chat in Google chat, email, Reddit, and/or discord.Maybe my family is right, they will never relax for me, and think I don’t need help. My stepdad becoming worse at jokes, and I’m angry at him, if he keeps farting at my brother I desperately want to hide into a hole and the give up.
From, @Ivygrl . Please if anyone NEW is here, please respond to my message. that includes YOU, @Helcat !December 31, 2022 at 9:59 am #412918
AnonymousGuestDear Ivy:
I hope that you feel better soon, and I wish you success with your New Year’s Goals!
You wrote in the opening of your post today: “There is a site I went to at one point, called YWS aka ‘Young Writers Society’ (link). But they restricted me and banned me out of the site indefinitely and permanently. And It was all my fault. My relationships from that site involved pimping“- can you explain to me what you mean by pimping?
anita
December 31, 2022 at 10:04 am #412919IvyParticipantOk, when I mean pimping I meant to say this: “The act of singling out one person of the group and testing their knowledge by asking them a series of intense, difficult questions in front of everyone.”
Or in my own words, asking questions to others that are not easy to answer and they don’t answer in my angle and want me out of here. That’s why the banned me permanently out of YWS and It was my fault.
December 31, 2022 at 10:05 am #412920IvyParticipantJust give me an answer already!! From, Ivygrl.
December 31, 2022 at 10:23 am #412923IvyParticipantWhere are you people? Why am I always alone!
December 31, 2022 at 10:26 am #412921IvyParticipantHere are my critiques for my short stories I wrote and they were from bad to worse. I cannot reply to them back because my account was banned! They even restricted access using this:
Cute Dagashiya story: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=154117
please help me! This site is out of my control and I want to ignore this site permanently from my brain!! Please read the reviews and tell me what do you think of my story!!! Please!
December 31, 2022 at 10:36 am #412925IvyParticipantHelp! So people do want to ignore me!! Please listen, I’m not a bad guy. I’m so upset and angry, that I just wanted some help, read this scenario and PLEASE RESPOND!
There is a site I went to at one point, called YWS aka “Young Writers Society”.
( https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/index.php ) . But they restricted me and banned me out of the site indefinitely and permanently. And It was all my fault. My relationships from that site involved pimping, spamming, and trying to get friends that understand my questions in MY ANGLE, to get help that I need for my writing. I have (and have had) writer’s fatigue, writer’s block, and felt like I got an empty, sad, black hole anytime I enter this site. When I learned about the permanent ban in my account, It’s was so jarring and upsetting, I cried and wished I would run inside a hole and quit. And even wish to die and commit suicide myself. One I see this website, I get in tears and cry like a baby wanting something. It bothers me, because no one likes me in this site and they me to quit entering. I will never remove this memory, I will just dig a straight hole and hurt myself if I can’t figure out a solution to forgive. Affirmations and positive thinking won’t help, it’s going to be too strong to control.Every time I’m entering this site, I am digging an even bigger hole in the spot I’m digging at with a machine drill. What am I supposed to do? ANY ADVICE? TIPS? IDEAS? THE MORE I ENTER THIS SITE, THE MORE TEARS I GET? ONCE YOU CRY YOU ARE WEAK AND NO ONE EVER BELIEVES YOU? RIGHT? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REPLY? I’M 18! NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS ARE COMING UP AND THEY ARE HERE!! I’M WAITING!
PLZ HURRY UP!
December 31, 2022 at 10:41 am #412927AnonymousGuestDear Ivy:
In your most recent post, you ordered me: “Just give me an answer already!“. I don’t follow orders, Ivy. You asked for help (“Please help me!“): it will help you to not order people, and to not demand help here or on any other website.
anita
December 31, 2022 at 11:00 am #412929IvyParticipantOk then , I’m sorry
December 31, 2022 at 11:14 am #412930IvyParticipantThen I’m afraid this leads me to no choice. If I don’t get the help I want, then what am I going to do? Since this is out of my control, I’m going to find all the viewers and yelp for help!
@HoneyBlossom , @Myjourney , @QMS , @Helcat !!! This is important to know! Where are you what is your advice for this type of situation? Why are you guys getting away from me. This isn’t a joke or an offense!
Help! So people do want to ignore me!! Please listen, I’m not a bad guy. I’m so upset and angry, that I just wanted some help, read this scenario and PLEASE RESPOND!
There is a site I went to at one point, called YWS aka “Young Writers Society”.
( https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/index.php ) . But they restricted me and banned me out of the site indefinitely and permanently. And It was all my fault. My relationships from that site involved pimping, spamming, and trying to get friends that understand my questions in MY ANGLE, to get help that I need for my writing. I have (and have had) writer’s fatigue, writer’s block, and felt like I got an empty, sad, black hole anytime I enter this site. When I learned about the permanent ban in my account, It’s was so jarring and upsetting, I cried and wished I would run inside a hole and quit. And even wish to die and commit suicide myself. One I see this website, I get in tears and cry like a baby wanting something. It bothers me, because no one likes me in this site and they me to quit entering. I will never remove this memory, I will just dig a straight hole and hurt myself if I can’t figure out a solution to forgive. Affirmations and positive thinking won’t help, it’s going to be too strong to control.Every time I’m entering this site, I am digging an even bigger hole in the spot I’m digging at with a machine drill. What am I supposed to do? ANY ADVICE? TIPS? IDEAS?
December 31, 2022 at 11:15 am #412932IvyParticipantI can get help, if I BEILEVE!
December 31, 2022 at 11:36 am #412934AnonymousGuestDear Ivy:
My therapist at the time taught me something that is called Distress Tolerance Skills. Learning these skills is just what you need, Ivy.
positive psychology. com/ distress tolerance skills: “Distress tolerance skills allow a person to survive an immediate emotional crisis without making it worse… (to) accept the reality of the situation when they feel out of control… (to) cope with their feelings when they don’t know exactly what they want or need at that moment… These skills are often called ‘crisis survival skills‘ because they help a person navigate a (perceived or actual) crisis…
“Crisis survival skills are short-term coping strategies that help manage emotional pain to avoid destructive behavior…During a perceived or actual crisis, a person’s limbic system gets activated, and they become on high-alert.. It is difficult to practice adaptive coping techniques when a person is already in an agitated state of mind.. Using a distress tolerance skill can help a person lower the intensity of the emotional pain”.
Pause before you are about to do something impulsive and practice a distress tolerance skill/ crisis survival skill first. A distress tolerance skill can be something as simple as splashing cold water on your face. Other skills: focus on your physical senses and on your immediate environment (focus on what you can see, hear, touch), focus on and pace your breathing, distract yourself with music, exercise, a walk outside, etc. After you calm down enough, then think logically about the possible pros (positive consequences) and cons (negative consequences) of what you intend to do. You can read more about it on the website I quoted from.
anita
January 1, 2023 at 7:29 am #412991
HelcatParticipantHi Ivy
I’m sorry that I didn’t reply earlier. I was taking a break from the forum.
I’m sorry to hear that you were banned from a writing site and it upset you. I think it’s important to remember that emotions whilst they feel painful can’t physically hurt you. The feeling will pass and you will be okay. The reality is that you will have to find a new place to write. Please feel free to share your writing here if youwish.
How was your Christmas? Do you celebrate it? I wish you a happy New Year!
I looked through some of your replies I missed and I wanted to share… To improve skills emotional or creative simply requires practice. Practice hard and you will succeed in time. Some people say it takes 10,000 hours to master a new skill.
We all have issues, no one is perfect. You are worthy of love as you are. All of the problems and mistakes are part of being human. I hope that one day this makes sense.
January 1, 2023 at 10:23 am #412996IvyParticipantOn New Years Eve yesterday, I was really sad and really in depression. I learned this year, that I not only have autism (it’s part of the problem, but not a complete factor), I also have depression and former ADHD. This helps, but I’m sorry I took this too far. No one will ever be happy with me anymore. And if anyone will like me, I promise I will leave you alone for now.
No one will forgive me if I’m this disappointed. And they are right, I am weak. Yesterday, my stepdad was so angry that he knocked over my books from my table and wanted to use a knife to kill me. I am so defenseless, my stepdad was strong enough to bruise my arm and knock me down. What’s his idiot deal? I just want to go outside and hide in a hole and give up all life, and live in a house. I’m 18! Maybe I don’t deserve to survive. I failed making my family happy!Does anyone know a book called “The Power of your subconscious mind” book by Joseph Murphy and “The Success Principles For Teens” by Jack Canfield ? I need help, because I know nothing on how to stop making my subconscious mind negative. I tried to think positive. But smiling din’t work, and I’m worried that my parents and my life are always right and it’s always my fault. I was the one who caused my stepdad to be angry and crush over books, I was the one who stole money at school, I was the perfect person who went to a one day suspension, I was the one who keeps “whining and crying”, and I was the one who keeps avoiding my friends to find better writing advice than them. These moments have to be permanently erased. I have to stop existing like this, it’s out of my control!!!!!! It’s always going to be my fault. So they are moments in my life that can never be taken off. Well, I want them to be taken off, of my life and body!!!
How can I stop blaming and complaining about others? I’m jealous of other people doing better than me with art and writing on Twitter and other sites!! People complain and it’s their fault that they started them, without those complainers dead and in existing, life will better! How can I stop blaming and complaining?
The people who hate me are out of my control!
January 1, 2023 at 2:35 pm #413023HelcatParticipantHi Ivy
That is awful that your stepdad threatened to kill you and physically assaulted you. There are no excuses for his behaviour. You didn’t cause him to do anything, he is an abusive person. I would suggest to tell your parents and any carers you have. Tell your school about his behaviour and you could even go to the police if you wanted to.
I’m guessing that this isn’t the first time that something like this has happened as you have hinted about things before. I would suggest that the reason that you struggle with your mental health could be because you are being abused. It likely won’t improve until you are out of that situation.
You don’t deserve to be treat like this, no one does. You deserve love and support from your family.
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