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My nightmarish day. I want to have a strong heart and a strong future

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Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 52 total)
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  • #395983
    Ivy
    Participant

    Hi,

    It’s Ivygrl again, I apologize for coming back late.

    I’m not sure Helcat, if I actually identify with those characters, but some of them are based on some comics and books I read. I’ll try to check and see if I can make any changes with the story I wrote. I’m doing much better.

    Do you guys have any recommended drawing sites, youtube links, and story/graphic novel making sites. on how to make comics and written books?

    I want to learn about something else next to autism and improving myself: to learn ow to improve myself and my subconscious brain, because I tend to get upset and give up on stuff, but that only happens when I want something really bad.

    I want to learn how the brain works, subconsciously and how can I make my brain work and feel better subconsciously, not just consciously. (If you ever read “The Power of your Subconscious Mind” by Joseph Murphy, or know about this stuff, then please help me for a bit.) I never read this book but I read advice onto this book. I don’t know how to make it work to my mind properly. Also I don’t want to force myself too hard in the unconscious realm to help me because I heard that forcing yourself too hard mentally won’t help get your goal (http://www.getstoryshots.com/books/the-power-of-your-subconscious-mind-summary/), and that’s why I need help with understanding the subconscious mind and the brain

    I also read “The Secret To Teen Power” by Paul Harrington, because “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne is too hard, but something felt wrong about all the steps I took, and I felt like I didn’t “Ask, Believe, or Received” the right way. What am I’m doing wrong with the process? I tried to win a Medibang art contest with the secret, but I din’t win though. I just got more likes. What can I do to improve this subconscious potential in the future?

    Thank you Anita, and @HoneyBlossom, @Helcat. Hope you send me a message.

    from, Ivygrl.

     

    #395995
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Ivygrl:

    How can I make my brain work and feel better subconsciously, not just consciously“, you asked- for me to try to answer your question best I can, I need to understand your question first: can you explain to me as clearly as you can, what is the difference between feeling better consciously, and feeling better subconsciously?

    anita

    • This reply was modified 6 months, 1 week ago by anita.
    #396092
    Ivy
    Participant

    Hi anita,

    Ivygrl again, and I don’t know what it really means to feel better consciously, and to feel better subconsciously. I’m a little bit stuck in recognizing the difference, and I tried to search up the internet about this, but I got nothing. So I at least tried to figure it out myself.

    The only thing I can say though, is that the difference between conscious and subconscious, is this:

    • The subconscious mind give you different beliefs and thoughts on what to send and not send to the conscious mind, makes decisions, and controls your life exactly the want you are thinking, and it controls a majority of your life (whether it’s positive and negative). I think so negatively sometimes, that I can’t improve anything at those times, and give up very easily (but only if my parents tell me I’m weak and I’m a kid). if i were to feel better subconsciously, then I would think better decisions and think better and happier for myself, instead of being considered terrible.
    • The conscious mind has your thoughts, memories, feelings and wishes at every time we were aware at the moment. And gets you to think and process your thoughts rationally. Even if you are upset emotionally, there are ways to calm down you rational and emotional parts of your brain and life: taking a deep breath and relaxing strategies. If I were to feel better consciously, then you would be aware of feeling better rationally in your point of view.

    I’m doing ok at school and at home. I just want to know the answer so that i can become more aware and more helpful in thinking positive with my brain. I hope this answers your question, anita. And I hope you answer my previous message. From, Ivygrl.

     

     

    #396108
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Ivygrl:

    In your previous post, you asked: “How can I… feel better subconsciously, not just consciously“. I replied that I don’t understand your question because I don’t know what you mean by feeling better subconsciously vs. feeling better consciously. I asked you to explain to me what you mean by the words you chose in the question you asked.

    You answered: “I don’t know what it really means to feel better consciously, and to feel better subconsciously“, and then, you asked me to answer the same question (“I hope you answer my previous message“).

    So, let’s go back to your previous question in your previous message: “How can I… feel better subconsciously, not just consciously“? – given that you don’t know what your question means, trying to answer it for you will be meaningless for you and for me.

    And so, I invite you to ask me a question made of words that you do understand.

    anita

    #396121
    Ivy
    Participant

    hi anita,

    it’s Ivygrl again. Ok I’ll try to ask you two questions in the best way I would do it. And here it is:

    How can I make a my consciousness the way I want it to be: positive and enjoyable? I mean, I am feeling a bit better about myself now but I don’t want to fall into the same trap of leading my subconscious to where I was before.

    How does the brain work for autism? (compare and contrast between autistic people and regular people.)

    from, Ivygrl.

    #396124
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Ivygrl:

    How can I make my consciousness the way I want it to be: positive and enjoyable?” – (1) re-read my posts to you on the first page of your thread, the ones from Dec 22-Dec 27, 2021, and look for answers there.

    (2) You wrote back in December: “I’m always subtle and super abstract in writing… I want to be clear and narrow, not broad and scattered” – see a professional who is an expert on autism and ask the professional the following question:

    What can be done to help me change my thinking from subtle, super abstract, broad and scattered to => =>clear and narrow?

    How does the brain work for autism? (compare and contrast between autistic people and regular people)” – I don’t know the answer to this question because I am not a professional who is an expert on autism. This is why I suggested above that you see a  professional who is an expert.

    anita

    #396389
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Ivygrl!

    Sorry I’ve been busy for a few days. I made a mental note to reply to you, forgot and finally remembered again today! Well done on entering a contest. That was very brave of you. I’m glad that your artwork got many likes. I’m sure in the future you will be able to win. Keep up the good work practicing.

    Regarding your questions about subconscious and conscious.

    There are things that your conscious mind believes.

    Then there are subconscious emotional beliefs.

    For example, throughout childhood my subconscious absorbed a message that “I am not good enough” and formed a belief around it. My conscious mind as an adult knows this isn’t true.

    What kinds of thoughts make you feel upset and want to give up?

    Fortunately, there are things you can do to change subconscious beliefs and make them easier to deal with.

    Keeping a gratitude diary is important. Writing down when people compliment you and keeping a list of that is important. There have been many compliments in this thread. Finally, learning to challenge negative conscious thoughts is important. Whilst validation from others helps, they cannot change your beliefs about yourself. Only you can do that.

    In time you will learn that negative thoughts aren’t necessarily true and be able to see them for what they are without being upset by them. Mindfulness is a skill many people practice to help with this.

    Please see an example of how to challenge negative thoughts below:

    “I’m not good enough.”

    What does being a good person mean?

    What does being a bad person mean?

    What historically has made me feel this way? What is the context of the current situation that made me feel this way? Is there another way to look at the situation? What would I say to my best friend if they were in a similar situation?

    To address this negative thought, I would keep a list of all of the good things I do and the good things I like about myself and add 1 or 2 things to it every day. These good things can start out small.

    I held a door for someone.

    I cheered up my friend.

    I picked up someone’s keys and returned them when they dropped them.

    I try to be kind and caring to others.

    I am intelligent.

    I try my best to work hard.

    #401530
    Ivy
    Participant

    Hey guys, Ivygirl here.

    I’m doing good, but this time I don’t have a problem with my autism. This time it’s about my self control, and feelings. Sometimes I get sad, angry, and even stressed out. I often worry about my burnout, because it’s been forcing myself to do writing and when i get upset it’s sometimes about forcing myself to have fun or writing for myself and trying to force myself to do my best at school. I fear of trying to do the wrong thing and I want everything to be perfect and fine. I want to go to college and do things on my own, but i feel like i’m not ready and i’m not smart enough, because i haven’t been studying enough and end up cramming my brain with homework, classwork, and what people want and expect me to do. I know my friends and family want me to be happy, and they are with me. But I want to do things on my own and be responsible. Somehow i’m not on the right track, because I feel uspet with my slight identity crisis. I’m on the right path but I want to feel happier and not force myself. I want to write stories and become an author one day to write and travel to South Korea (when i have enough money, but now i don’t have enough). People want me to think of the negative things: the things that i can’t do, and to never do them again. But why would they keep repeating what i cannot do to me? Does that count as attracting bad stuff?

    Also @Helcat , what is your twitter so that i can contact you or something like that?

    Also, Don’t be afraid to send back a response. From, Ivygrl.

    #401536
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Ivygrl:

    “I often worry about my burnout… forcing myself.. I want everythng to be perfect” –

    To stop the burnout, stop forcing yourself, and stop wanting everything to be perfect. Instead of forcing yourself-  gently encourage yourself. Instead of wanting everything to be perfect- accept and expect that things will not be perfect. Life is rarely perfect: why expect perfection and then get dissappointed again and again?

    anita

    #403941
    QMS
    Participant

    Hi Ivy, if you’re still out there. With respect to your desire to become more optimistic, you can learn how to do this. I highly recommend the book Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman. I’m still working on getting there myself, as I tend towards pessimism. I’ve re-read the book several times and find the exercises and tips very useful and practical. One of the best books I have ever read.

    #404105
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Ivygrl!

    Sorry for the extreme delay in the reply. I was taking a break from tiny buddha. I don’t really use social media, apart from imgur. My username for that is: usernamealgorithm

    I understand what you mean about stress and burn out. I think managing this is a lifelong challenge. It is okay to take breaks when you need them. Taking the time to do relaxing activities is important. It sounds like you are trying really hard! Things will still be okay if you scale back the effort say 10%. Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes and that is okay. Making mistakes is part of learning. When we make mistakes we can reflect on it and recognise what isn’t working, what is and then we try other things which can lead to success.

    I think your dreams are very achievable. I’m sure that you will go to college and do things on your own. You are already writing so I definitely see you pursuing that as a career. Travelling to South Korea sounds amazing.

    The only thing that I would add is that it can take a while to become a professional writer. So it’s important to have an additional career plan for saving up money in the meantime.

    What steps do you think you will need to do to begin to work towards your goals?

    #406344
    Ivy
    Participant

    Hi guys, It’s Ivygrl again.

    Sorry I left the site for a while. I read the other three messages left when I returned to the site. You see I’m still stuck on my life, because on May – June 2022 I stole $60 worth of money from a school donation clasp opening money/cash bank absent mindedly, when my teachers weren’t here. When my mom found out about this, I was guilty and in trouble the next few days at school, and at one point after I got trouble I went to another school for a one day suspension, and then i returned back to my school and decided to let go on this topic and do better things (like ask permission before doing something) instead of letting myself borrow stuff without permission. They never want me to use the computer EVER again (at school), because I used the computer for stuff that’s not school related.

    I QUIT. I WILL NEVER FIT IN AT MY LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL, AND PEOPLE WANT TO RESTIRCT AND LIMIT EVERYTHING I DO AT SCHOOL !!!! I’M A STUPID, PURPOSEFUL, AND AN INTENTIONAL ABSENT MINDED PERSON.  I WANT TO FORGET ALL MY STUPID GUILTY STUFF AND ACTIONS, I WANT TO BE PERFECT!!!! EVERYONE’S BETTER AT SCHOOL THAN I AM, AND WHAT THEY WANT TO DO IS REMEMBER I AM THE WORST PERSON EVER!!! AND HIGH SCHOOL IS LIKE GETTING A JOB AS AN ADULT; PEOPLE HAVE TO DO THE WORK NOW AND JOBS ARE ALWAYS STRICT!!!!!!!!!!!

    I learned that I have ADHD, and Autism!!!! I feel a bit sad about these times, but the good news is some teachers may help me with this problem, but I don’t know how to yet.

    Also I have two questions to ask you, when you don’t mind answering?

    1. I want to keep a journal notebook for experimenting and super rough drafts, but i don’t know how to write stories like this when I have autism and adhd. What can i do?
    2. How can i make a good story even if it’s rough? (I want to make comedy/humour, fantasy, and or adventure stories)?

    Thanks, Please send back a message.

    From, Ivygrl.

    #406347
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Ivy!

    Lovely to see you again! Judgement free zone here.

    Can I ask why you stole $60 at school? What did you think would happen?

    Something for you to think over… What do you think happens as an adult in the outside world if you steal money?

    I think people constantly remind you of things because you don’t seem to understand consequences. They actually went really easy on you because of your conditions.

    Perhaps they don’t think you’re the worst person ever? Perhaps they are just afraid that you will do something that you don’t really understand the consequences of. You are quickly becoming an adult and adults are not given the same benefit of doubt that children are. In society, adults can be harshly punished for behaviours that are accepted as children. I can understand why they are afraid for you. They want you to have a safe and happy life.

    I remember that you showed me a rough draft and it was very charming. I think practicing as you have been works well. To me, you already know how to make a good story so just keep at it!

    #406349
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Ivy:

    I WANT TO BE PERFECT!!!!“- how about a more humble  goal: to be less imperfect today than you were yesterday, and less imperfect tomorrow than you are today?

    anita

    #406418
    Ivy
    Participant

    Hi @Helcat,

    “Can I ask why you stole $60 at school? What did you think would happen?” – Helcat

    Because I DO NOT have enough money to go to a bookstore. Or buy ANYTHING I want. I thought if i stole money i would be happy, but i was more guilty than happy, for a few times. I thought no one would ever notice. But my mom did and that’s how i got in trouble and became very guilty and sad at the end.

    “Something for you to think over… What do you think happens as an adult in the outside world if you steal money?” – Helcat

    I know (and knew) that stealing money is bad and is a crime (at least i THINK it’s a crime). I feel terrible.

    PLEASE HELP ME!

    And do is top everything you mentioned, which is THIS: ”

    I think people constantly remind you of things because you don’t seem to understand consequences. They actually went really easy on you because of your conditions.

    Perhaps they don’t think you’re the worst person ever? Perhaps they are just afraid that you will do something that you don’t really understand the consequences of. You are quickly becoming an adult and adults are not given the same benefit of doubt that children are. In society, adults can be harshly punished for behaviours that are accepted as children. I can understand why they are afraid for you. They want you to have a safe and happy life.”

    Thank you helcat,

    From Ivygrl.

     

     

Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 52 total)

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