Thanks all of you for your advices. I’ m going back to France next week for some times, like 6 months. I’m going  to work and save for a car. If everything goes as planned, my ex and kids would join me for christmas for a two week holidays. I get along pretty well with her and so does my family in France. It’s only too painful for me to see her in a new relationship. I’m so deeply in love 🙁  So in march I will come back to Argentina and start a computer programming degree. It’s 3 years intensive. It’s a perfect degree for me because if I go back to France one day to settle I’ll find work easily and of course I will have a better job here to support my kids. And who knows… someday I will be able to work freelance and travel the world with them. I guess I need some long terms goal to make it through and to face my new reality. It’s not my kids fault if I am grieving my ex-wife, they deserve their dad as much as I need them. Going back to France for a while will help me recover from my wounds and hopefully I will come back fresh for a new start.

Thanks all of you for your support, here is one of my prefered quote that helps me when I am down:

“Please remember that you are built to shine. Great things are coming your way. You are not average. The darkness will pass. World class is coming, and you are meant to fly.”

Robin Sharma

Hi guys.  I’m here for a little update. So I finally travelled to France alone, heartbroken.  Actually that’s wasn’t a bad move at all. After two weeks I have managed to find a job in a 4**** hotel. The only job I’ve applied to. I really felt that life was on my side this time. As for my ex wife she offered herself to bring me the kids for two months at the end of November. She herself will only stay few days with my family and go back to Argentina on her own. Well it’s really nice from her since she will take on her vocation to do so. I spent a lot of time with my mother, hiking and cooking.  Haven’t been alone with her in years so it’s good time to talk. I exercise quit a lot as well, work and keep busy. My plan is still to go back to Argentina and study even if thinking of going back there kills me. To be honest I’m enjoying my life here but I have to be close to my boys.

I am not over my ex wife. I still fantasize about having her back even if she is sending me messages that she moved forward. Lately she is complaining that taking care of the kids is too much for her. She tries to make me feels bad I guess. She forgot who dumped who and who has to take responsibilities for his action.  Maybe it’s because I never complain about my situation to her and that I always try to sound alright when I talk to the kids through the internet everyday.  Not a day has passed without me crying for her and my kids but I will never tell her. I just want to sound that I can move forward myself in my life.  Truth is I miss her like crazy and her new relationship is killing me. But  I have to concentrate on myself and the kids.

That’s all for today folks. I never thought I would make it through. I still have a lot of battle and hardship to face but day after day, steps after steps I will make it through this storm.  I m still in the midst of it but now I know that there is a way out. Just have to  find  it.

Thanks for your support.

• This reply was modified 7 years ago by freddo.

Well a month has passed since I last wrote.  My ex wife just flew back to Argentina.  Actually she is still in the plane. She dropped my two sons and spent a week with me and my family.

It was odd. Really strange to see her again. I was really nervous but surprisingly everything’s turned ok.  We were really happy to see each other. After two days of chat we finally had a real discussion on our own. We were both nervous. I didn’t know what to expect. She told me that the best course our kids was her coming to live in France with them.

Well I couldn’t believe it. Took me by surprise. I tried not to look to ecstatic. I just told her that since we broke up I always respected her decisions.

Man. That’s the new me. Before I would have but her, kiss her and get drunk but the new me had a more mature reaction. And that’s what made the difference.

I just know that in February I send the boys back to Argentina for few month, that I keep working in France meanwhile and that in Agust the three of them come to settle with me. As a couple ? I don’t know. But what I know is that my job is not done yet.  I still have millions things to do before I am ready to jump into a new relationship with her or someone else.

The truth is that after a break up the ONLY  thing one can do is to let go…. don’t misunderstand me. I am not talking about loosing hope and faith in your ex. I’m just saying that one should concentrate on the things he can manage.

My ex was/is seeing someone (I haven’t asked her) and I didn’t try to ruin their relationship.  .didn’t before either to think twice about her decision. I just let go. Easier said that done. I ‘ve cried a lot. Hated her a lot. Hoped a lot. Lost hope a lot.

But I never told her. On the outside I was doing great. I found a nice job with a suit, exercised and never sound desesperate. I was in control on the outside even if inside I was torn to death.

And now she saw me and saw someone else. Someone who has plans for the future. A confident man.  I still have works to do on this man. Because maybe one day I will have another shot and I can’t miss next time.

She and my kids deserve the man I am becoming. It’s a daily struggle.  I can’t down guard. One step at a time. Now she is moving to France. Something impossible two months ago…. so who knows what the future has for us?

Hope my experience will help people to overcome their hardship.

I haven’t my family back yet but I am working on it.

Love.

Well time for some update? Since last post my two kids stayed with me in France and we had great time.

Christmas was great but next week I have to send them back to Argentina.

The plan is that they come back to live here in July with their mother .  I already registered them at school and they love the idea to live here.

Their mother on the other hand turns down a great new job opportunity in Argentina and even sold the car plan she started to pay 6 months ago. Looks like she is ready to make the move.

Me I am great. I have several projects, I stay focused on my job and try to make things right. I started driving lessons. My cousin give me an old car and meanwhile another cousin lend me a motorcycle.

So life seems to follow a nice path.

Things is , I don’t know if I miss my ex wife anymore. If I really want her back. Maybe it’s because I spend time with my kids and I am not that lonely anymore…. or maybe because I stop to fantasize on her and how perfect i thought she was.

As for my future  relationship with her. She made clear that she is coming over here for the sake of the kids. That she has to leave everything even her new relationship for them.

You think it will be possible to forget what happened and start a brand new relationship? Do you think that I have to keep letting her go and let God?

Thanks for helping me. I really appreciate all the kinds words I had from all of you in the past. It really helped me.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 9 months ago by freddo.

Thanks for answering. You are so right all the times 🙂  I should not forget the past but learn from it. I totally agree with you.

She is moving from Argentina because we always knew we would live in France at some point. She has been there a lot of times and she really loves my family and friends as much as they love her. And she knows that is better here for the sake of the kids. Argentina is also a tough country where it’s hard to make a good living and plans for the future.

I am actually glad she decided to move here with the kids because overall we will have a better life. No doubts. But you can’t make someone to love you. She is coming over for the kids and only for the kids, and we will have to live together for a while. Not like husband and wife. More like friends maybe.  But if she accepted to leave everything behind maybe an idea of reconciliation is not that impossible for her.

I am just scared that we will still be angry at each other and that she regret her choice. I know I have to do everything for her not to regret but still…. And as well I know our relationship will never be the same. I don’t know if you ever recover from a separation. Especially if she was involved with someone else emotionally.

Well time will tell I guess. For now I’ve stopped complaining about everything and I realized that life was on my side. Who knows, maybe from all this mess a great life together is waiting for us. Or maybe we will realize we have nothing in common but stay close friends?

Who knows….

Thanks for your help all of you. God bless you