@kkasxo

Aw thank you, I hope for the very same. The past few years have been a very mixed bag of drama and pain and uncertainty. I could do with a bit of positivity and happiness for a change!!!

Wow, sounds like you developed an I stand rapport with the top person- that’s fantastic. I will have my fingers and toes crossed for you. What’s meant for you will not pass you. I still haven’t heard anything from the second company I interviewed for. It’s been almost two weeks and I expected a call either way last week, as indicated by them at the time of interview. I expect they have filled the role now, but one would think the professional thing to do would be to let all the unsuccessful interviewees know! Oh well!

Im on a day off from the makeup store today so I’m going for lunch with my cousin and meeting my sisters later for a late dinner! Also going to do some shopping for my family- as I get a discount in the department store, so I have a list a mile long that they have asked me to purchase for them, so might as well get that out of the way today too!

The nice guy ‘caved’ and contacted me last night. He said he misses me in his life, even as a friend, so we may be able to build some sort of good friendship out of al of this. Fingers crossed.

My ex’s best friend messaged earlier to wish me a happy birthday. I never thought he actually liked me, but he tends to like my few social media posts and messages me each birthday- even if I’m split up from my ex on that particular birthday….which has happened….oh I don’t know…. more than once!

Anyway, I’m really happy to focus on myself and my future in 2020, I’m going to do my best to make moves to change my life in a positive way! Here’s hoping…..just gotta stop looking back over that damn shoulder of mine!!!

Have you anything nice planned for the next couple of days?

@kkasxo

ooooph….that stings. I know it. That feeling. But you know it’s not true right? What they think? They only have a small amount of the whole picture, as one would expect, so they make banter and conversation based on what they do know, which is very little in the grand scheme of things. They work off information or non verbal cues from us- you’ve stated abruptly in the past I think in convos with your mum that you and Mr.A are nowhere near certain milestones like a mortgage etc.

So whilst it’s hard to hear, it doesn’t make it true. Just what they view from their limited standpoint. But feel blue if you need to and pick yourself up again. Nobody knows the future, we create it by taking steps in infinite different directions. So don’t write yourself off because of a little harmless banter, it’s not more than that.

Im absolutely thrilled for you about the interviews, nice to get a bit of momentum going. Plus each interview under your belt will make you less nervous for the next, or so it was for me at least. Best of luck with them- keep me posted!

Try and catch your thoughts about Thurs night and change them. You’ve got a right to go out and enjoy yourself, enjoy the music. If you want to get to a certain place in life you’ll make it happen – you will get to that point, when you can’t stay where you are for one minute longer.

As for me…. SPOILER ALERT….I just received a text from my ex with just a birthday greeting. Out of the blue. No contact or communication for almost 7 months. Me trying initially to survive and then move on….and bam. There it is. I mean, I think he probably has some ludicrous idea that sending a bday wish is ‘the right thing to do’. My head is scrambled.

As for the nice guy, I agree, could be hard to have a friendship, I know the risks. I feel he deserves for me to at least try, but I’ll have to maintain boundaries and discuss it with him. I’d hate to lose him entirely, but from my experience, not remaining in contact is the most optimum way to move on so we’ll see.

@kkasxo,

lol, you get me so well! I don’t know what he was thinking to be honest. You’re correct, he’s always trying to do the right thing. In previous years I’d have asked why he didn’t text on my birthday, even if we were apart, but there would have been communication between us back then. Nothing like this.

He walked away, closed the door and didn’t look back. But I suspect he knows his mate messaged me and perhaps doesn’t want to be the bad guy & therefore feels he can sleep with a better conscience perhaps if he feels, ‘oh well it didn’t work out with that girl, but at least we’re not on bad terms’. Well he’s never call me that girl, but you get the idea.

I don’t know what he was thinking. I don’t know him now. Unfortunately I got the text whilst in the company of my sis & husband as we were discussing a different text message & I got a shock and flustered and then had to explain why. Needless to say they were not impressed and some not so savoury language was used by them!

I left it a few hours. They told me not to reply. I wondered is this a test? A self-love self-care yest? I should not reply in order to show up for myself. But basically I felt not replying would hurt him. And I can’t hurt him, or anyone. I just can’t do it. I can’t be responsible for causing someone to feel bad, even if they caused me pain. So I simply said thank you and left it at that.

Tbh, I don’t expect to hear from him again. I don’t know if he’s in some weird emotional 12-step programme or just wants to clean the slate, but I’d say that’s about it.

Talk about a rattling!

Hi there, having a tough night tonight. I’m feeling under the weather which always seems to be a trigger for me. Maybe because of the vulnerability of being sick.

Definitely still have the fight or flight (usually flight) response quite to the fore for me

Hi @kkasxo

That sux. I know exactly how it feels, especially when you’re banking on it, that’s the way it was for me with that big rejection a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t have a Plan B after that one & then I didn’t get it and was gutted. Let yourself be sad and disappointed, it’s sad and disappointing. Then hopefully see it as not meant for you, that the universe knows more than we do and is directing us elsewhere.

I was never much of a ‘Whats for you won’t pass you’ type of person, but lately I’m giving into it a little more and it helps somewhat. So give it a try, when you’re feeling less gutted.

Im still sick but muddling on. Met the nice guy friend for food after work today (which I can’t afford right now so it was irresponsible of me!) but I did it anyway. He puts me in good form but I’m keenly aware that I could be using him (unintentionally) to fill a gap in my life. I need to be careful for everyone’s sake.

He said to me this eve that I don’t have an anchor. And it’s true, no home of my own, no job, no partner, no kids, no direction. I don’t know who I’m supposed to be now and where to go next.

Maldonado got another email job rejection this evening so I’m right there with you… xx

Hi @superx

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It sux. The pain is overwhelming and upsetting.

Dont get anxious that you’ll have a similar scenario to me, every single human is different, everyone processes things uniquely and in millions of different ways.

No contact, seems to be the key in many ways. I was doing ‘ok-ish’ until he re-emerged and sent me a birthday text. What I will say…..I’m certainly not where I was pain wise three weeks after the original split. It does fade. There’s no way I can prove that to you, you’ll figure it out yourself.

Of course I think a lot about him now again, but I don’t have that absolutely devastating ‘die if I don’t contact him’ mentality. I maintained no contact after it finally ended and it makes it less acute. No reminders, no conversations to over analyse, no safety net of always having him at the end of the phone….and like any vice, you body, both physically and mentally does start to wean off it, if that makes sense?!

Try and hang in there, you’re doing this for you.

@kkasxo, how are you doing?