Posts by Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.

Lori Deschene's Website

There Is No Expert on You

By Lori Deschene

“Believe nothing no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense.” ~Buddha

Sometimes it seems to me that we are collectively obsessed with expert advice.

In some cases, it makes sense to consult an authority.

When you’re planning for retirement, it’s smart to seek out a financial planner. When you’re starting a business, by all means, sit down with someone who’s done what you aspire to do. And when your dog gets sick, it’s probably smart to call your veterinarian instead of …

Why Positive Thinking Didn’t Work for Me

By Lori Deschene

“See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.” ~Dalai Lama

I was a perfectionist growing up, always trying to bang my flawed round-shaped self into a perfect square hole that couldn’t possibly contain me.

In my early twenties, I decided to focus on personal development—a positive thing, I assumed.

I figured if I worked on improving a little every day and nurturing a positive mindset, I’d feel a lot better about myself than I did when I got down on myself for my flaws.

I didn’t take into consideration that I might become a perfectionist about positivity.

That …

40 Ways to Give Yourself a Break

By Lori Deschene

“Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend.” ~Lao Tzu

It’s common among overachiever types: We like to push ourselves.

Sometimes it’s to get from A to B. Sometimes it’s to create the illusion of change when really, you’re just spinning your wheels. Sometimes it’s simply to avoid standing still and accepting the moment as it is.

All that pushing can feel so smart and productive—until you’re exhausted, overextended, overwhelmed, or otherwise ready to snap. I’ve felt all these things before.

There are days when I try to be everything to everyone and …

Stop Feeling Frazzled: A Powerful Guide to Reducing Stress (and a Giveaway!)

By Lori Deschene

Update – The winners for this giveaway have been chosen:

In my high school yearbook’s class prophecy, it was predicted that I would one day write and star in a one-woman show about my life called “Stress.”

I was chronically frazzled—in a constant state of panic about everything I had to do and had already done but may not have done well enough.

I overextended myself, took very little time to nurture my emotional and mental well-being, and frequently felt like I was about to snap.

In fact, I even broke a stress ball once from excessive …

Interview with Dani DiPirro and Book Giveaway: The Positively Present Guide to Life

By Lori Deschene

Update: The winners for this giveaway are:

If you’re a fan of uplifting, action-oriented blog posts, you may have stumbled upon Positively Present at some point in time.

I “met” the site’s founder, Dani DiPirro, around the time I started Tiny Buddha. Over time, I grew to admire her dedication, both to personal development and her blog.

Since 2009, she’s shared countless helpful, inspiring posts, empowering readers to live mindfully and positively in the face of life’s inevitable challenges.

Now she’s preparing to launch a new book, The Positively Present Guide to Life, which offers …

Review and Giveaway: In the Garden of Happiness

By Lori Deschene

Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen:

Be inspired. Be strong. Be happy.

These words pop from the peaceful imagery on the back cover of Dodinsky’s In the Garden of Happiness, nicely summarizing the benefits of perusing this uplifting illustrated book.

If you’ve read his first book, In the Garden of Thoughts, you know what to expect from this bestselling author: whimsical imagery and powerful wisdom in a deceptively tiny package.

His work provides encouragement when you’re feeling hopeless or helpless; reassurance when you’re feeling insecure or insignificant; and comfort when you’re …

70 Ways to Make Others Feel Special

By Lori Deschene

“Be the person that makes others feel special. Be known for your kindness and grace.” ~Unknown

There is someone in my life that has an extraordinary talent for making people feel special. I would call him out by name, but he’s a fairly private person, so we’ll just call him “E.”

It’s not that E makes people feel that they are somehow greater than others. He recognizes what’s special about everyone he encounters, and through his attention, kindness, and generosity, brings out the best in them.

He doesn’t do this through grand gestures, and not with expectations of receiving anything …

One Mind Live: Free Holiday Week of Peace & Customized Meditation Giveaway

By Lori Deschene

You’ve likely read about the benefits of meditation, and you’ve maybe even experienced them for yourself.

Meditation can help you:

Reduce your stress
Increase your focus
Enhance your creativity
Deepen your sleep
Heighten your sense of presence
Improve your mood and overall well-being

And yet knowing all these things, you may find it difficult to maintain a consistent practice. Even if you have the time, it be challenging to shut out distractions, shut off your brain, and simply be. I know I’ve struggled with this.

It can be even more difficult because it’s usually a solitary pursuit—but it doesn’t have …

Tiny Buddha eBook and Others on Sale for 99 Cents

By Lori Deschene

Hi friends! If you haven’t already read Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself, now may be the perfect time, as the eBook version has been included in a special Black Friday Weekend Holiday Sale.

From today until Monday December 1^st, you can get the digital version of my book and over twenty others for just 99 cents each at blackfridaybooksale.com.

About Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself

Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself is a collaborative book featuring a collection of stories from Tiny Buddha contributors, along with tips to help you feel good about …

Treat Depression Without Medication: Interview with Jonathan Robinson and Book Giveaway

By Lori Deschene

Update: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. They are: Marsha Law and Talya Price.

I experienced my first bout of depression at twelve years old, and by seventeen I so frequently felt despondent that my boyfriend questioned if I could go one day without crying. I could not.

My life became a series of self-destructive habits, from binging and purging, to drinking, to cutting myself—the first two to numb my feelings, and the last to feel something, a pain of my own choosing, which somehow felt like relief.

In my senior year of high school, I was …

Rethinking Mistakes and Recognizing the Good in “Bad” Choices

By Lori Deschene

“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” ~Unknown

For most of my life, I’ve seen the world in black and white, and I’ve felt constricted and pained as a result.

When I was a young girl, I believed there were good people and bad people, and I believed I was bad.

When I was an adolescent, I believed there was good food and bad food, and because everything tasty fell into the latter category, I channeled the shame from feeling bad into bulimia.

And when I grew into adulthood, I believed there were good decisions and bad …

Be Part of the Next Tiny Buddha Book: 365 Tiny Love Challenges

By Lori Deschene

*The deadline to submit a story has now passed. Thank you to everyone who submitted one! You will receive an email by the end of November if I’d like to include your story in the book.

When I started this site in 2009, after struggling for over a decade with depression, bulimia, and shame-induced isolation, I hoped it would be a place where we could all feel less alone with our struggles and more empowered to overcome them. I’m beyond thrilled to see that’s just what Tiny Buddha has become.

Over the past five years, I’ve been honored to help …

How to Deal with Criticism Well: 25 Reasons to Embrace It

By Lori Deschene

“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle

At the end of the day, when I feel completely exhausted, it often has nothing to do with all the things I’ve done.

It’s not a consequence of juggling multiple responsibilities and projects. It’s not my body’s way of punishing me for becoming a late-life jogger after a period of laziness. It’s not even about getting too little sleep.

When I’m exhausted, you can be sure I’ve bent over backward trying to win everyone’s approval. I’ve obsessed over what people think of me, I’ve …

When You Feel Purposeless and Fear You’re Wasting Time

By Lori Deschene

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~George Bernard Shaw

I wanted a guarantee.

I wanted to know for sure that if I tried to do something, I would like it; if I devoted my limited time to it, I’d end up somewhere good.

I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and I felt certain this was a phenomenal failing—because if you don’t know right now what you need to do to make your life count, life will pass you by before you’ve ever had a chance to do something meaningful or …

How to Deal with Regret: 8 Ways to Benefit and Move Forward

By Lori Deschene

“Stay away from what might have been and look at what can be.” ~Marsha Petrie Sue

When I look back at some of the most painful moments of my life, I see myself sitting alone, feeling either immense shame or regret.

It’s bizarre how we can get so offended and angry when other people hurt us and yet repeatedly choose to torture ourselves, far worse than they possibly could, through repeated mental rehashing.

For the longest time, my biggest regret revolved around missing out on life.

From a distance, people always thought I had everything going for me. Up close, …

Two Free, Life Changing Meditation Events

By Lori Deschene

If you’re anything like me, you may sometimes have the best intentions of meditating, only to find yourself finding excuses to avoid sitting still.

Maybe it’s because the thought of slowing down makes your heart start to race with terror. Maybe it’s because you’d rather sit naked on the subway floor for an hour than sit with your own thoughts for even a minute.

Or maybe your lack of motivation stems from a list of can’ts—a sense that you can’t devote enough time to make it worthwhile, or you can’t do it consistently because some days are busier than others, …

Worrying About the Future: On Trusting in Uncertainty

By Lori Deschene

“Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.” ~Eckhart Tolle

The other day my good friend from back home called me hysterically crying. She felt certain she just blew a second job interview, and she’d hit a breaking point.

She’d been struggling for months, just barely paying her bills and wondering if she could afford to keep her apartment.

Every purchase had become an exercise in extreme deliberation. In fact, I’m fairly certain that when I visited last, I saw her stressing in the grocery store about whether she really needed that box of Twinkies that beckoned from …

25 Ways to Be Good for Someone Else

By Lori Deschene

“Don’t wait for people to be friendly. Show them how.” ~Unknown

When I was a teenager, right around the time I knew everything, my mother used to tell me I only remembered the bad things.

When I told stories about my family, they didn’t revolve around family beach trips, barbecues, and vacations; they focused on painful memories and all the ways I felt my childhood had damaged me.

The same applied to friends and milestones in my life. I chronically remembered and rehashed the worst experiences.

In fact, straight through college I followed up every introductory handshake with a dramatic …

33 Ways to Be Childlike Today

By Lori Deschene

“Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart.” ~Mencius

Remember when life was simple?

When your friends were the most important thing in the world. When a snow day was a perfect excuse to have fun, not a block of time when you felt guilty about being unproductive.

When the ice cream truck could make your day, no matter what happened before. Bad grade? Big deal—it’s snow cone time. Skinned knee—who cares, you have a screwball!

If only you could bottle that sense of freedom, fun, and enthusiasm for the little things, you could carry it …

A Place to Release Your Secrets and Shame: Share Your Truth in the Forums

By Lori Deschene

Ten months ago when I launched the Tiny Buddha community forums, I hoped they would better enable us all to connect with and support each other.

Since then, I’ve been amazed and inspired to see the love and compassion people extend there, without any agenda beyond helping others feel less alone and more at ease in our uncertain, often confusing world.

There are now over 10,000 active forum members, and there have been more than 1,600 conversations on a wide range of topics related to spirituality, self-esteem, relationships, purpose, parenting, health and fitness, and more.

Whether you’re an active …

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