@theruminant said:
He does what he can to help and he never feels as if his life wouldn’t have a meaning.

This is what my wise friend is trying to get me to do. He tells me this is the key to happiness because it is the opposite of chasing after my endless demands on life.

He first starts me off with a gratitude list. A gratitude list is about what I am grateful for right now. Acceptance is something I can only do right now. Helping others and feeling peace is something I can only do right now.

I make a daily Gratitude list. This helps me focus on what I have. This is important because I can deny my family my usefulness today because I am worrying about the pain I plan to feel when they die.

For me, Gratitude is the doorway to happiness.

Wow powerful. Thank you for sharing.

Being out and about other people is the cure. Find someone you can help, above all do not isolate. being alone is perhaps the last thing I would do 🙂 My worst time is on long drives because I am alone… with my thoughts. I am creating visions and conversations in my mind, that are not reality, but my body feels as if they are. I can have a relationship with a person that is totally in my mind, it is NOT a relationship, it is not real. Any suffering I am causing myself.

So I listen to audiobooks when I drive. When in bed I read or sleep. When I watch TV I watch with someone else. When alone (and not driving or engaged in a specific task) I meditate. I use mindfulness to put myself in the moment. In the moment there is no fear. The imaginary things with their suffering is not there.

I have found that I am able to act my way into better feeling rather than trying to think my way into better feeling. I find it helps to start my day off each day by making a Gratitude list. I list the things in my life I am grateful for. This action really helps me. I then try to follow the 4 Agreements (Be Impeccable with your Word / Don’t Take Anything Personally / Don’t Make Assumptions / Always Do Your Best). These actions make my days go differently and make me feel better.

Basically our lives are actually great. We are totally blessed, I mean you did not indicate any major physical handicap. You have an excellent education. You have food and shelter.

No problem. I did not do the best job making my point. A bit too accusatory on my part I think.

I would take this day by day and see what happens. My feeling is that it is ultimately about acceptance. In the end I can accept anything and something like this can actually turn out to be very small if for example he is an Atheist that is more moral than a church-goer.

I find it is best for me when I am of service to others. I find it is not best for me when I concentrate on my own wants and desires. Actually the source of my unhappiness is a desire not met.

Ok what does all that have to do with your situation? Do you make her happy “in that way” ? (you know what I mean :)) Are you what she wants?

If the answer is no that may help you let her go in that way.