Dear Robi:

You are welcome. I will reply further Wed morning (It’s Tues, early afternoon here), but for now: “I’d like to clarify a couple of things. It might seem I always see the world as being f*cked up… after all no one is really bad… Everyone is good“- wait, everyone is good? No one is really bad.. people are not really bad when their actions are really bad?

anita

Dear Shandrea:

Yes, I understand, of course. I guess the only way to build trust in a new person is slowly, gradually, if the person deserves trust. It is difficult to know for sure though, that there will not be a betrayal of trust sometime along the way. It takes courage to try and to persist in getting to know a person.

anita

Dear Robi:

“I am faced with a very tough choice to make. Do I take the corporate job, do something that’s against my values, but get my financial independence and live with my girlfriend? or Do I stay here couple of months longer and do the trainer course and after that go to Warsaw and find a job (which could still be a corporate job, but having the course might get me a job in a gym)… She (your girlfriend) encourages me to do as a I feel its best… There’s a part of me that is still anxious and scared to meet the world… Very often I judge the world for being ‘f***** up’, people for being unaware, blind, brainwashed, disconnected from their true nature, letting themselves be manipulated… Some of that might be true. I’ve been told I see the world as something hostile and I think everyone is against me. That I judge people who do corporate jobs without understanding their reasons, without knowing anything about them. I guess some of that might be also true“-

– It is true that the world is f***** up in so many ways. It is true that there is a lot of hostility in the world: within a family, between families, and between ethnic groups and nations.

It is also true that a person cannot be mentally-emotionally healthy and functional when the person sees nothing but hostility, and/ or when a person has little to no esteem for most people.

To be healthy and functional, a person- while acknowledging the wrong and bad in the world-  has to focus, not on what is wrong and bad, but on what is right and good in the world, humanity included. To be a good person is to add to what is right and good.

Whenever possible and appropriate, shift judgment of people => empathy for people, including for yourself.

As far as the greedy corporate world: unless you live in the woods, off the grid, you are part of the corporate world, and you support it as a consumer. It is only a matter of how much any of us (who is not living off the grid) supports big corporations, not if we do.

If you consider a corporate job in Warsaw, look for its negatives: how is it harming people? And look at its positives: how is it helping people?

As far as working as a personal trainer in a gym, if you keep your focus on humanity as hostile, unaware, etc., it’d be just a matter of time before you locate- and focus- on the “unaware, blind, brainwashed, disconnected from their true nature“.

* Your girlfriend reads like a good, loving person to you, for you. Do you judge her too sometimes as unaware, blind, etc.?

anita

Dear Shandrea:

“How do you reconnect with the inner child by communicating?  If so about what?“- best I can explain it is this: humans are social animals. It is positive communications/ positive interactions with other people (or pets) that make us feel child-like joy. Because we are born social animals, we can’t experience joy in isolation, not for long.

Think of another very social animal: a dog. When do you see a dog wagging its tail joyfully, like a puppy? Not when the dog is alone, isolated, but when the dog sees another dog or a person and gets all excited anticipating a positive interaction, and when actually interacting positively.

I was mostly isolated for a long, long time, as a child, a teenager and onward, and many of the interactions I had with people, starting with my mother, were negative interactions. As a result I was depressed a whole lot. Healing for me happened/ is happening as a result of positively interacting with people.

anita

Dear Shandrea:

You are welcome, and thank you for saying it was beautiful to read. I will answer your questions Tues morning when I will hopefully be more focused than I am now.

anita

Dear Shandrea:

I also used to be bored and stuck at home during summer vacations from school (through high school). Recently, life is way more interesting and social than it was when I was a teenager and onward. I hope that this will happen for you too, sooner than later!

anita

Dear Shandrea:

You are a practical person and your # 1 priority in regard to a job, is to accommodate your son’s schedule. It is a shame that your son’s father doesn’t help with raising any of his three kids.

“Is waking up at 3am a bad thing?“- only if it means not sleeping enough on a regular basis. Restful sleep is a physical need and when we don’t get enough of it, we function less effectively. Do you get enough sleep?

anita

Dear Shandrea: I will read and reply Mon morning.

anita