Hey there Pats12,
Congrats on finding the answer to this situation on your own. Understanding the fact that you are being used for attention and discovering that it is not an authentic relationship/friendship. The easiest way to handle this would be to once again state how you are having difficulty contributing to the friendship. As you mentioned before when you called her out on her actions, she began to get defensive and projected it on toward you. Avoid this at all costs the next interaction.
The next time you see “M” let her know of the difficulty you are having and let her know that you are not able to handle it. Slowly after some time begin to break contact with her and start living your life once again. Of course she may do you the favor and after you let her down easily, she may not want to talk with you any longer because you showed actual human emotions and she won’t be able to handle it aka “use you”. I went through what you’re going through as well with girls in my early 20s. After some time I got tired of all the games and hidden agendas and went back to being direct and honest to the point. They are out of my life, no contact and I’m much more at peace.
Hope it all works out. I know it will.
Thank you and take care
-AP85

Hi there Manii,

Welcome and thank you for posting. Regarding the problems you are experiencing with your depression and anxiety would be instead of masking the problems, but rather face them head on. One solution to help combat your anxieties and fears would be to acknowledge them. I’m not sure if you have completed this in therapy, if not then acknowledge them. Whether it be through oral or writing them down. Have a hard and honest conversation with yourself including “WHY” statements and answering them. When you can acknowledge your fear/anxieties, it puts you in control of overpowering and conquering them. This acknowledge practice can also be applied when you feel certain triggers approaching your mental state. A simple “STOP” and process the situation helps. Over time and as weeks/months pass, you can help wean yourself off the medication and use your mind as the best kind of prescription.
Thank You and Take Care
-AP85

Anything by Napoleon Hill will be a great service to your mind and well being.
Thank you and take care,
AP85

Hi there Jen,
The problem is not that you have difficulty selecting a career path, it’s the self discipline that you lack. The career path is just an “extra” addition in your life and the lack of self discipline adds to or complicates it. I would go back to your first post and after rereading it, suggest journaling ALL your thoughts and feelings regarding both Chinese and Digital Design. It’s obvious from your first post that you enjoy language and culture. Not to mention that you already know a language from the nation that has been and will continue to be heavily involved with both the economic and political sectors of the world. With the culture career, you placed outside/external barriers to succeeding. With the Digital Design, you don’t even enjoy it.How do I know? You just told us. I would do some more self digging when it comes to a career in language/culture with your background in Chinese and DEEPLY analyze yourself in both the culture career and digital design career. As well working on your self discipline is your 1st key step and if you can afford it, maybe hire a life coach.
Thank You and Take Care
-AP85

Hi there Veronica,

When it comes to angels or spiritual messages, I do believe that there is some presence and that there could be some form of contact, but for the most part the responsibility lies on your shoulders. One great mistake in life is over relying on superstition to help guide your life. Think of it more as a post it note that somebody left on your computer or desk to help remind you of a task or chore that needs to be completed. I’m pretty sure that nobody sits at their desk and overthinks or concentrates heavily on that post it note. They either accomplish the task or leave it there. As well, energy is a key factor or contributor when it comes to receiving spiritual messages. Remember all those numbers that you have emotional attachment to are stored deep down in your subconscious. (I,e: People who play lotto numbers)
Take for example my situation, more specifically my username. The reason why I have the “85” in my username is due to the fact that my grandfather passed away at that age and he was a person who I thought would continue to “be there” for me. But unfortunately he had to physically pass away. But the energy is still there and that’s why 85 is sentimental to me, and it motivates me to improve myself and others. while for example other numbers such as 75 or 84 mean nothing to me.
One exercise I would suggest would be a meditation activity where you sit in silence and clear your mind of all emotional attachments to numbers, signs, etc. (I should do it as well) When your mind is clear then you begin to experience the feeling of living life without the emotional attachment and understand that they are just numbers or objects. This way of thinking though requires continuous practice and strong discipline.
Thank You and Take Care
-AP85

Hi there vidalevi,
After reading your post, the thing that stood out for me was that even though you are in your thirties, you mention how you have the look of a high schooler. Embrace it. It means that as you age you will continue to look young and have that presence of youth. Just as you said you are capturing the attention of men around campus who have noticed you. Don’t worry chances are they are just as nervous as you are. If there is a guy that you find eye catching, then start things slow and message him through social media. Don’t be afraid to make the 1st move. What’s the worst that could happen, he does not reply to you. You did not know him before so why should it matter afterwards.
Thank you and take care
-AP85

Hi there healedsoul86,
First off I would like to offer my congratulations on surviving all of that trauma during your childhood. It’s good to see that you have a good relationship with them. Second of all would be whenever you see “happy” couples to take it with a grain of salt, especially on social media. It does not matter whether it is in real life or on the internet, people make sure to present their “best face” when it comes to what they have in their lives. One suggestion I have for you and it worked wonders for me was doing a Facebook “cleanse” where you still keep your profile, but stay offline from it. You contact your close friends by phone or text. Also you stay strong when Facebook starts spamming your email telling you what you are missing or how it misses you. After some time has passed, you will not miss it and you may log back in and just roll your eyes at everything you see or you may just start a new chapter in your life and unplug from social media entirely. The choice is yours. All the best.
Thank you and take care,
-AP85

ragatanga,
My sympathies to you during this holiday season. As an American man I can’t speak on behalf the entire nation, but truth be told in a way people are the “same” throughout the world. You met an American guy, the same could have happened with a Canadian, British, etc. man. When it comes to emotions such as unconditional love and feelings, men including myself have trouble expressing them. I really do wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happier New Year.
As for the best way to cope and handle the stress of the holidays especially with today being Christmas would be to have a day dedicated to yourself. I would not normally recommend it, but since it seems you have already hit rock bottom. Before you start your recovery and self improvement I would say indulge in your favorite activities. You know unleash that stress on a carton of ice cream or cookies and enjoy the time watching your favorite movies. Afterwards, I would recommend reading the book 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It is worth investing the time learning from your mistakes and improving your future.
Seasons Greetings
Thank you and Take Care
-AP85