Christina,

First, let me say how truly sorry I am for the difficult choice you are faced with. I agree with both Mark and Lori. Every situation is different; however, it is clear that something MUST change in order for you to be happy. I am a child of divorce, and I can tell you that whether or not my parents stayed together in the same house has never been the issue. What we value and need the most from our parents is: Love, encouragement and support. I truly believe parents can provide all of those things to their children even outside the home. What is MOST upsetting for children of divorce is the following:
-To have one parent speak unkind or disrespectful words about the other
-To feel that a parent is unavailable for support during important times in the child’s life
-To feel that a parent is emotionally disconnected from the child
-To feel like a burden

The bottom line is that your kids will be happy if you focus on expressing your LOVE for your children and not the anger you might feel toward your spouse.

A few questions about your marriage:
-Was there ever a time when you were truly happy with your your current spouse? If so, have you thought about trying a different counselor? (Some are better than others)

If you feel in your heart that you have tried everything, then you should not feel guilty for wanting to be happy. Everyone deserves that. And your kids would want that for you too.

Lori also had a good suggestion regarding the trial separation – they have those options for a reason.

I hope that helps – whatever you and your husband do, please remember to respect yourselves, your children and each other – no matter how angry or disappointed you might become. Be an example of dignified behavior and love.

I wish you and your family the best – my thoughts and prayers are with you!!!
Take care,
Annie

Dear Keisuki,

I’m so sorry that you are feeling sad. I believe that what these 2 ladies have said is great advice. I understand your loneliness – try to find ways to comfort yourself and create your own happiness. You have the capacity to do that.

Warm Regards,
Annie

Hi!

Thank you for sharing your challenge! I believe most of us have struggle with the same thing.
I think it’s a matter of recognizing the circumstances you have the ability to directly influence and focusing on making a POSITIVE contribution or impact on a negative situation when you are able…..instead of letting those unfortunate situations take you down with them.

If you hear about something that disturbs you, find some way to help – it can be as simple as sending a prayer or a positive thought. Those small things do make a difference and it creates harmony within you rather than keeping you in a dark place.

I hope that helps a little!

Take care =)
Annie

Anytime, Paul. I am sending positive thoughts and prayers your way:) Just let yourself feel everything and dont beat yourself up too much for any mistakes you may have made and will inevitably make. We all do the best we can with what we know.

Warmly,
Annie

What Kim just said is right. How do you feel when you focus and communicate through anger instead of love?

Its funny, but I always feel empty afterwards.

Even more funny is the fact that, when I calm down, think about what is really bothering me, and either express that truth through love or choose to let it go, I always feel peace inside.

When you focus on on something negative, that is energy that can be used for something positive that moves you forward.

Focusing on her will not change you or her. Focusing on yourself and striving to create your own happiness will give you a future.

Letting go of anger is always hard, but realizing how far ahead in life you would be if you used that energy for positive change – is the best thing you can do for yourself.

I wish you all the best and am truly sorry for your pain. I know how much it hurts, but everything will be ok. Look ahead, not behind 🙂

Take care,
Annie

Your pain is a result of your deep capacity to love. Your boyfriend knows that – I I promise. You have already said and done everything you need to for him. Now its time to let God do his part in his own way with your boyfriend. You need to heal and be whole and happy on your own without anyone. That gives you great comfort and strength to handle whatever life brings you. And, Chelsea, never doubt your intuition. Do your part by following that, and trust God to do what you cant do.

You are so brave and so sweet and kind. God will bring you more love and peace and happiness than you could ever imagine – trust him to know when the time is right.

Right now, you are feeling a thousand different emotions from moment to moment – sadness, love, regret, doubt, fear. ..and relief. Embrace each one – cry when you need to – yell when you need to, and feel the great love in your heart when you need to.

You are strong – and you will be ok, I promise:)

We are here for you!! And praying for you, sweety.
-Annie

Chelsea,

Im sure you believe in a loving God. Do you think he/she would prompt you with those intuitive feelings if there wasnt something better? Think back: anytime you have followed your intuition, hasnt it always made your life better? Do you think God would punish you for doing exactly what you felt was right? I believe our God is kind and compassionate. You cant make choices based on a future you can not experience right now – you can only do the best you can with what you know today – and carry out your decisions with kindness. I truly believe you are doing that. The previous response was absolutely correct in saying that this might not be the right time for you guys. If he gets help and works on himself, things could be different in the future, but you can only make decisions for yourself and your life – not his. What you do WILL cause him to also change – but his change is up to him. If things dont end up the way you hope they will with him, I can promise you, that it is only because God has something even better for you. Believe me – I have been through this many times, and I am always amazed to see how wonderful things end up just when I thought I would never find something better.
When you honestly follow your heart and intuition – it will always keep you on that path. Trust God.

You have a beautiful life waiting for you – I promise:)

Take care,
Annie

We are here for you!!!! 🙂

Aww Chelsea 🙂

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through your first breakup – it’s hard. And it’s painful. But I am so proud of you for following your intuition – sometimes that is the only guide we have when something is not working and we can’t really put our finger on why.

How to get through it -by taking it one day at a time, by crying when you need to and by realizing this: You did the best you could with what you have learned in your life up until that point. The fact that you feel sad is a glaring reminder of how loving and compassionate you are. Focus on that. You had the courage and good sense to follow your intuition – which is a lesson that takes many of us a lifetime to master.

Of course I will pray for you. You have a sweet and beautiful soul and you will meet someone equally worthy to one day share your life with:)

Take care,
Annie