Hi Dan

So… your ex-wife regularly sleeps next to her 10 year old son. This is abusive. A 10 year old boy who at this stage would be well aware of his sexuality. A 10 year old boy wouldn’t ordinarily choose this, this tells me that your ex-wife encouraged him to sleep next to her.

You say that 10 and 14 are young. It’s not. But at their age, they are doing some things that they shouldn’t be doing. This tells me that there is some manipulation going on. A 10 and a 14 year old shouldn’t be crying when their mum sees her ex-husband. Who is encouraging them to cry I wonder? Who encouraged them to resent you?By not having any boundaries with her son, your ex-wife was definitely involved. I wonder if their father is involved too?

I have a question. After the room was made up for the son and he still ended up sleeping with your ex-wife and her mom moved in. Why didn’t you sleep in his bedroom instead of on the couch? I’m assuming that he has a single sized bed.

Can you explain a little more about your neediness? Because all I can see is you being treat poorly and you accepting it. I actually feel angry about the way you were treat. I’m surprised that you don’t feel angry about it too.

Hi Ivygrl

I’m sorry to hear that you are dealing with some tough emotions and feel invisible.

Personally, I feel like your mom is wrong about reading online. I do most of my reading exclusively online, is an excellent resource.

Regarding the journal, you manage to write here. A journal would be very similar except perhaps you don’t share it with others.

It sounds like you could have some impulse control issues. I would imagine though that sometimes you do successfully control them.

I would imagine that not every time you interact with someone you would cry, or scream, or be rough. Perhaps these things only happen when things build up and become too much to cope with? I would imagine something similar happened with stealing?

When you are someone who makes mistakes it is important to apologize to make up for the mistakes. People will give you some leeway because of your condition. But your good behaviour outside of when you lose control can help a lot. People will learn that you are a good person who sometimes struggles.

I disagree that these things are your fault or unfixable. You are learning and growing up, things will get easier to manage in time. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You are judging yourself by your most challenging moments. What is an average day for you?

From a biological perspective, the purpose of a species is to reproduce and aim for survival of the species. In a modern society this is expressed in a variety of different ways. Largely, employment is focused around service to others in some form. Whether it is providing a service, skill or goods. From a needs perspective, we exist to meet our own needs. See Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

On top of that, we all have free will, unique personalities and preferences. My belief is that who we choose to spend time with shapes who we are as people, as well as our environments.

Personally, I enjoy helping others. I enjoy using my skills at work because it makes me feel useful. Because I have health issues I have an interest in health and fitness. I was very active and grew up in the countryside when I was younger, so I enjoy the outdoors. I love animals because I was raised with them, also they are very pure and joyful. I enjoy learning now that my job as a tutor helped me overcome learning anxiety. Mental health and psychology are important to me because of experiences with trauma. Philosophy has been an interest since childhood because I was often left to the care of the local librarians. Being a child raised in challenging circumstances, I had a lot of questions about the world.

Hi Mr.Ritz

I wonder, do you practice any activities that help you reduce your anxiety? Some common suggestions include; meditation, yoga, progressive muscle relaxation, exercise, hobbies… really anything that you find relaxing.

I have anxiety too and I find that whilst events do trigger anxiety, I tend to jump from event to event. Ultimately, it is a habit for me to worry about something. A habit that I’m trying to break.

It’s good that you can clearly identify some issues. You can plan to resolve them! But bear in mind there will always be new challenges to face.

Hi Soulgazer!

It makes sense that you are experiencing some minor adjustment issues after being alone for a long time. It is good to hear that you are getting used to social interaction again.

If you would like to share your story at some point, I’d be happy to listen.

Wishing you all the best! 🙏