Hi Again!

OK, so as long as we’re meditating on death, consider this: Imagine the eons of time that must have existed before you were born. About how your genes were in your parents, grandparents and relatives. A part of you was seeing out of their eyes. How the cells currently in your body were literally part of something else at the time/s. In/As grass, cattle, plants, water, etc.

Now think about how a part of you will one day see out of your children’s, grandchildren’s, etc. eyes. How your cells will literally, once again, be part of water, plants, air, etc. Sure, your current consciousness will be transformed, but it will change, as it always has.

Humans, eons ago, before language, before “thought”, lived, evolved, “Made it”. Their consciousness simply evolved. Same with the Earth. Same with the Universe. And, at a quantum level, aren’t we, at the end of the day, The Universe? We’ll be fine. You’ll be fine.

Change the meditations from fear to cosmic connection.

As Westerners, we don’t think about death. But the Buddhists would tell small children, “If you want to think about anything, ponder on when the hour will be when you die.” (!) So a Master might say to you, “You’re doing good, kid!” LOL

In all seriousness, though, you are experiencing Existential Terror. I’ve had bouts of that, in the car. (Not good.) It passes.

Instead of blocking it, maybe go all in. Read up on all the Stages of Dying. Know what to do, and what papers to collect, when your parents are leaving this earth. (There’s a great series on this in Oprah Magazine this month). Go to a Buddhist teacher and tell him/her your concerns ~ they will help you. Who better? .. Meditate on the fact that we’re not afraid of losing our consciousness when we go to sleep, and death is no different. Do you remember your past lives? Probably not, but your likes, habits and inclinations can give you a clue! Read The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.

IF you are becoming prone to panic attacks anyway, get a lot of sunlight, and clean up your diet. If that doesn’t help, a physician.

But most importantly, and paradoxical to the laundry list above, give most of your attention to your school, friends and family. That is what life is now all about, and the lesson of death ~ to enjoy life.

Have you met the co-worker? Would you be jealous of any co-worker? Do you have prophetic dreams? Let your intuition be your guide.

I don’t think you’re overreacting, though some may disagree.

When my DH was hiring secretaries I said, “She better be a grandma.” His secretary is over 60 years old! LOL! *Could* something happen? Of course! She’s a very good looking 60! So you see, there are no guarantees. LOL

If you trust him, and if you don’t get any weird vibe from her, it should be OK.

There’s a saying, “As the fruit grows the blossom falls off the tree.” Meaning, you don’t have to suddenly end or stop everything, you simply slowly replace them with something else. And gradually the negative influences will disappear.

Can you go to AA? Get a part time or “hobby” job? Run a children’s program? Meet people at Meet Up’s? Go to a meditation workshop/retreat?

Sometimes a lot of seemingly little things (or one little thing in particular) can “break the circuit” and get you back on a good track.

Blessings, and Good Luck!

Inky

There’s a saying I love: “I believe in Aslan even if there is no Aslan. I am a Narnian even if there is no Narnia.”

So you see, you don’t have to believe in God. But wouldn’t it be nice to Act As If? (And besides ~ Who knows??) And in all the holy texts from all religions there is a common theme: To help others. That rings true whether you’re an atheist, a Buddhist, or just a regular human!

Sadly, it is true that life and/or the planet will continue on, if we drop dead or stop living life. But if you look in the mirror you will see a person crafted and altered through millions of years of evolution. We are made (for whatever reason) to love, help, run, play. Wouldn’t it be a shame if you realize The Meaning and it’s too late?

At least begin. Start by doing exactly what you feel like, something that brings a smile to your face.

Wow, you’re seeing more of him as a friend than I do with my actual friends! LOL

Can you be “busy” enough so that you only see him (as a friend) once a month?

Talk on the phone only once a week?

Text only once a day? (a one line text, no conversations)

As he feels lonely he will seek company. And as/if he misses you, he will start the conversation.

The trick on how to do this is to claim busy-ness and at the same time plan an outing with him a few weeks in advance. I think you need to do this for your own sanity!

• This reply was modified 11 years, 1 month ago by Inky.

Hi Diana,

What will probably happen is the longer you work with her, the more “normal” she will seem.

Also, you become the company you keep, which is good news!

Critically look at what makes her seem: successful, pretty, put together? I’m not kidding, make a list. When I went college touring with one of my kids last week, I was in awe of the head of admissions! She was talking, and I wasn’t listening so much as making mental notes about why I was so impressed with her. It was: the haircut, being blonde, her way of speaking, the jewelry, being size 4, hand gestures, and so many more etcetera’s!

The good news is you can emulate what you admire, to a certain degree. Just don’t do it all at once or it will creep her out! LOL

And if you ever get into the realm of jealousy, don’t. Just remember that the Kardashian sisters are now the old girls at the club. 😉