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Inky

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  • August 14, 2014 at 3:57 am in reply to: Indecision eating me alive #63352
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Mermaid,

    As a general rule, I don’t agree with moving in together.

    Answer yourself this: If the BF weren’t around, would you still be living in France? Do you have other American friends here? Any people you get along with? A routine? Something that you look forward to everyday?

    I think you love your BF, but when you’re In Love, you Know it.

    I would move into my own place, explore and enjoy France, and have your BF as part of your life but not Your Life. Then, at the beginning of the New Year have an honest talk with yourself. At least you will have had your Great European Adventure!

    August 13, 2014 at 5:07 pm in reply to: I have a soulmate; he isn't my husband #63317
    Inky
    Participant

    I think everyone has had this sort of experience. It’s the “Love is as perennial as the grass” one. And how men are like trains. You miss one, another one is coming.

    I think you met another one of the 72,000. But, once you’ve already made those marriage vows to one of them, you are tied to that soul forever. Unless, of course, you divorce, or cut the ties in a future lifetime.

    I suspect the reason why you are still in your marriage is because, in fact, your DH is your Soul Mate.

    Because you’ve been with him for so long the feeling of Love gets diluted into the everyday. I had a dream once where all the 20 years of Love I felt for my DH was condensed into one moment in time. I woke up from a deep sleep thinking my heart would burst from all the emotion. Of course DH couldn’t understand what I was talking about/what I meant (engineer).

    Just don’t sacrifice your real marriage for what could be a mere feeling, I guess is the group consensus?

    • This reply was modified 11 years, 3 months ago by Inky.
    August 13, 2014 at 11:16 am in reply to: I have a soulmate; he isn't my husband #63292
    Inky
    Participant

    And This:

    http://spiritualconnectedness.wordpress.com/2013/05/17/twin-flames-and-soul-mates-the-new-dynamic-in-relationships/#more-7636

    Basically you have 72,000 “Soul Mates” (including your husband). That if you’re not happy in your relationship and look to another “soul mate”, that is just fear of living your life and a sign that YOU have to love YOU!

    The Twin Soul is not incarnated with you as a general rule.

    OK, now love your True Soul Mate for this lifetime, your husband!

    August 13, 2014 at 11:01 am in reply to: I have a soulmate; he isn't my husband #63290
    Inky
    Participant

    So I found an article which discusses the Soul Mate Fantasy. And the Soul Mate Reality that you have to Become The Soul Mate! Enjoy!

    The Soul Mate Fantasy

    August 13, 2014 at 9:43 am in reply to: I have a soulmate; he isn't my husband #63286
    Inky
    Participant

    The thought of someone from my past, now married, who considers me his “soul mate”, would terrify me! I hate that word, that it is bandied about (mostly by women) so casually just because she has a crush, as if she is the only one who matters, and as if his partner and her husband just don’t matter much in the Cosmic scheme of things. Meanwhile, there is a true, real, husband languishing at home, starved of you psychic/emotional attention. HE is in your Auric Field. Not some guys from your past who frankly would be flattered yet horrified if he knew he was referred to as a “soul mate” on some long thread on the internet!

    Here’s what a Soul Mate is:

    Past, Present and Future are One. So your spouse, the one in 7 billion you pick, or who picks you, (finding The One out of everyone on the Planet?? Only spies can do that on purpose!!)is already Connected to you if you haven’t met yet. He/she WAS already connected to you before you were born. And when you meet, even though you seemingly have nothing in common, as each day passes, as more time and love and energy is exchanged, each droplet of that Love, Time, Experiences, Thoughts and Energy makes you more and more Soul Mates.

    Until one day you realize: You were always Soul Mates!

    Not some guy you used to know.

    Sorry so Harsh!

    August 13, 2014 at 4:41 am in reply to: How can I get rid of …? #63266
    Inky
    Participant

    Yeah, when I visit FB, I always realize that misery is right around the corner, just one click away. So which reality would I rather live in? In my happy, private, simple one, of course! I log in, scan my Feed for a minute (literally), play my game, log out. I only check on my kids’ Walls. I “Hide” people, make Friends “Acquaintances”, oh so gradually cut down on my Friends list.

    And at his end, what guy (or girl) would write on their Wall “I miss so-and-so.” “Thinking about my beloved ex again.” No one!! People only write about happy things, not depressing ones.

    And of course he will get a new girlfriend! Just as surely as you will get a new boyfriend! You know this!!

    Yeah, try the gradual detox method.

    You can do this!!

    August 13, 2014 at 3:53 am in reply to: How can I get rid of …? #63262
    Inky
    Participant

    Can you try, going cold turkey for one day, then visiting FB? Then two days? Then three? Build up your muscle. Also, reward yourself with something awesome every time you make it to more days in a row. There’s an app I think called Streaks that will help you keep track. I predict that after 21 days or so, just the thought of logging into FB itself will make you feel slightly nauseous. Good Luck!!

    August 12, 2014 at 8:32 am in reply to: A Poem on Being New to Tiny Buddha :) #63179
    Inky
    Participant

    Oh Thank God!!!

    I was feeling just utterly horrible for the past half hour!! Oh, phew, we’re pals!!!

    Love Ya!!!

    Inky xxoo

    August 12, 2014 at 7:58 am in reply to: A Poem on Being New to Tiny Buddha :) #63175
    Inky
    Participant

    Matt, I’m sorry for making you feel bad.

    “Matt’s face turns blue” (meaning I say something so outrageous you forget to breathe because you’re in shock) ~ wasn’t meant in a mean way. It was an acknowledgement to myself that my posts aren’t for everyone!

    Yeah, I wrote that months ago when I was all, “Uh oh, this character doesn’t dig me!” when I first joined.

    I won’t refer to you in my posts anymore and please don’t feel you have to refer to me in yours.

    • This reply was modified 11 years, 3 months ago by Inky.
    August 12, 2014 at 4:23 am in reply to: move abroad to work or stay at home with my boyfriend #63162
    Inky
    Participant

    A story: My father “hates travelling”, “doesn’t travel”. His wife, twenty years later, put him on a cruise. He “knew” he would hate it.

    Guess what?

    HE LOVED IT!! Now cruises are their “thing”.

    Maybe you going will shake him up to travel. Or he’ll love a certain destination, and you can go there again and again.

    Good Luck!

    August 12, 2014 at 4:01 am in reply to: move abroad to work or stay at home with my boyfriend #63159
    Inky
    Participant

    Oh my goodness, can he visit you there?? Dare I say live with you there? Can both of you go for two weeks together? Maybe have an agreement that at least one to four times a year you take trips. Even with kids you can take trips, get away. Some families are like that. Expensive, but that’s what some do. (My kids look on jealously LOL). Sound like you need an Adventure to shake things up a bit!!

    August 12, 2014 at 3:24 am in reply to: move abroad to work or stay at home with my boyfriend #63156
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi,

    My friend has a very real business in Bali, but she also has a very real family here in the States. She makes it work. At first it was a month there, eleven months here. At the worst it’s eleven months there one month here! She makes money and sees her loved ones. I know with a boyfriend it’s different, but I don’t think this one in particular will break up with you if you go out and test the waters a little!

    August 11, 2014 at 6:01 pm in reply to: Help ! trying to figure out the weird world of online dating #63126
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi

    I think people freaked out because you *seemed* angry that she was looking at other profiles while interested in you.

    For all you know this is how she gets her kicks to counteract the drudgery of potty training and sippy cup cleaning.

    And for all she knows, you could be one of those bad guys. My point is Why go trolling the internet for strangers when there are plenty of people you may already know or be introduced to IRL, where love could blossom naturally and with more safety. I dunno, dating sites are the last places I would go if I’m still counting my child’s age in months. No offense, just makes me go “Hmmmm”.

    August 11, 2014 at 9:38 am in reply to: A Poem on Being New to Tiny Buddha :) #63096
    Inky
    Participant

    Um, you’ve thrown plenty of “mud” at me, Brother, and all I’ve ever done is call you on it.

    Lighten up.

    Once again, take your own advice ~ Let it go. Breathe.

    Hugs,

    A Loving Being,

    Ink

    August 11, 2014 at 3:51 am in reply to: Help ! trying to figure out the weird world of online dating #63061
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Steve,

    Sorry, If I were on a dating website, and a single mom with a toddler, I’d be aloof as hell! LOL

    There are a lot of strange birds out there and shame on her for bringing a potential total stranger into their midst.

    And even in a perfect world where she had babysitters and oodles of time and you never meet the kid, what message is that sending the kid?? Dropped off at daycare while mommy works and now a babysitter when she’s not working??

    Please only date childless women. I knew someone who was pissed because his GF spent more time with her teenagers than him. (!!!)

    Don’t be That Guy.

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