Oh, I had another thought!

I vaguely remember you visiting your parents?

On your next trip, to visit your parents and other relatives, can you leave ~ and simply not come back??

Let’s be honest, you are so unhappy no one would be surprised.

And guess what? They’ll feel discomfort for about a minute, and then move on with their lives!! They won’t think about you at all!!! They will move on to the next new young initiates!!!

And your parents will be disappointed, but people think about you less often than you think. It is shocking, really! Then you will be free to have a job, get married or help your parents.

And as you get older, one day you will be older than the guru is now ~ and mentally roll your eyeballs at him. LOL

Think of the guru, your parents and the culture as small children. They can be mad. 😉

Remember ~ bring it up at least once, but three times at the most ~ let him think it is his idea ~ and you are worried about your Clock, not him!

How long have you been dating, and how old is he ~ or rather how is his maturity level?

Yes, I know the feeling ~ You want it to come from him, and you feel bad for wanting, but you want nonetheless.

You could have your own internal timeline, but unless he’s psychic, he won’t know. Guys don’t usually think, “GF in mid-thirties, might want a family now”. Unless he has some wise uncle-type who tells him, “Don’t date someone for more than two years without proposing. It’s not fair to the girl.”

We’re supposed to be all enlightened, but that pesky biology thing!

My main worry for you is that he might assume this is a reaction to the roommate. Do you think he’s distant now because he’s annoyed with the roommate topic, that he’s been comparing/contrasting in his mind or because they’re having talks?

What I would do:

1. Say, “Now that I’m in my mid thirties I’m beginning to freak out about having children b/f it’s too late.” Say it in passing, as if you’re venting or anxious. See if he says anything. (He might not!!)

2. Now that he knows it’s “a thing”, during the holidays say, “Listen, this is really bothering me, I have to date other people b/c I want a family b/f I can’t have one.”

3. (which should be 2 lol) Maybe gently urge him to talk about it a few time before. DON’T nag about it! Don’t get moody/depressed around him!! If you do it right, he will think it’s his idea! But if he’s not right for you, you have let him know and broken up with him in the gentlest way possible.

Hi Jane,

Physical things tend to have an expiration date: i.e. professional ballet dancer. But, anyone can dance at any age!

When you talk of waiting, maybe it’s an emotional dream: i.e. falling in love. You may or may not fall in love, but you can have a blast like this girl who wrote about her 100 Dates!

For mammoth dreams: i.e. become a famous actress, you may not even get an agent, but you can take classes and make YouTube videos!

What I do (Great American Novel, anyone?) is do the work, but also accept it for where it is. I like to have fail proof plans. Like, I also do “outsider art”. A cartoonist, really. No museums, however, I did have a small following after I made a website. Am I “famous”? Hell no. But at the same time “the gods” seem to place me/want me in totally different things.

Follow the Journey, not the Destination. And try to find a way to have fun with it!!