Hi Allison,

I’ll be brief as I think TinyBuddah is eating my posts today!!

You guys have been with each other half your lives. You were mean to him, and sometimes that kills the love. Him feeling nothing could be an emotional defense mechanism. Switch therapists. Shake it up. Do something positive and outrageous to make him view you in a new light.

Good Luck,

Inky

Hi Keiran,

The relationship sounds very “new” if you are keeping him on his toes by spontaneously saying you were “staying out” (instead of going to the boring bus stop) when you bumped into him.

Are you two exclusive? You could ask him that and say that you’re just making sure as guys still approach you when he’s not around and you’re not sure what to say. You can bet that will keep him on his toes and he will contact you more!

In short, yes, you are insecure. And yes, he should be checking in with you more.

Don’t let him take you for granted! But also be honest with yourself. Is this really the guy for you, whether you had confidence or not?

Best,

Inky

Hi lost in the wild,

She won’t hurt herself. She won’t kill herself. She’s just threatening that as emotional leverage. Because guess what? Once you block her online, change your phone number, etc., etc…. Once she has no way of contacting you, she will fly into a rage, but won’t harm herself because you’re not around to even know about it.

This woman is very unstable, selfish and abusive. It’s a good thing you are far away.

Nothing creates distance like distance. Block her everywhere, and mentally detach, detach, detach.

Good Luck,

Inky

Hi Amanda,

You made the right decision 1000%. He was the one who made bad decisions, and now he knows that a quality person won’t put up with his inattentive ways. Does he know you know about the Tinder yet? If so, then he also knows that he can’t get away with being a player. And what kind of player would he be? He has no time!

I second Netflix, YouTube and venting to friends. I also highly recommend carbs, sugar, and sleeping in!

Best,

Inky

Hi Liss,

I think you would have better luck in London. Surely there are vegan cafes, metaphysical bookstores and even hiking groups that would get out of the city together.

Do they have Meet Ups in Europe? Where you go on line and someone posts “Hey! Pagan/Vegan/Whatever Meetup at Regeants Park Saturday Noon!” type of thing?

Seek and ye shall find!

Inky

Here’s another thought: Your daughter is getting old enough to pick up on what’s going on. You don’t want her to think it’s normal for non-parental figures to “take mommy and daddy away”. Or for daddy to have a harem. Or worse, for her mother to be a slut. As that’s what the other kids and adults would call her. Open marriages aren’t accepted or understood in most of society because it’s unusual and weird for a reason. The reason is that THEY DON’T WORK. Period. End of story.

I would be out of that marriage as it’s better for a girl to live with her divorced single mom than be surrounded by the STRANGE energy of an openly cheated on father who is being brainwashed into thinking this is somehow normal and OK. Hint: It’s not.

Even better: Sue for custody. Shut her fantasies down.

Inky

• This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Inky.

Hi Matt,

Polyamory or open marriages is The New Thing right now. Of course, people have been having open relationships for millions of years, it’s just that usually their Primary Partner (to use their jargon) wasn’t supposed to know about it.

We are so modern we’re supposed to be OK with it. If you have jealousy, you are unevolved. *sarcasm*

The jealousy you feel is actually several hundred thousand years of evolution in you screaming “SOMETHING IS WRONG”. Of course you look better than ever. Of course you are doing it several times a day. Of course you are more attentive. Because some other guy is around. Before you know it you will be raising another man’s baby. Your very body is making sure that doesn’t happen.

I say you tell her, “No, actually, I’m not OK with it. I want to meet this guy when you do as I’m the Primary Partner as that is how modern Open Marriages work. Did you know that? By the way, open marriages also work both ways and I’m the hot husband now. Men get sexier as we get older at the same time as women grasp at the last vestiges of youth. I’m actually doing you a favor by offering monogamy. Have fun with the guy. But let me tell you, in reality, it’s him or me. Think hard. Think very hard.”

So is she meeting him for a dinner or for a night??

Good Luck,

Inky

• This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Inky.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Inky.