Forum Replies Created
May 7, 2015 at 1:21 pm in reply to: Authenticity and Honesty #76378
Hi. What was the lie?May 7, 2015 at 1:12 pm in reply to: Cross the world for love…or stay home for stability #76377
Oh, if you know you can and you want to, go for it! Those are normal and real concerns you mentioned. I went through it and have no regrets, myself. One other thing- do it because you would do it with or without the person you want to be with. Because the safety net is only you. Good luck!May 7, 2015 at 12:54 pm in reply to: Cross the world for love…or stay home for stability #76375
Heh, thanks. I’m trying to get to the bottom of this 🙂 So what I’m getting at is that you should ALREADY have the confidence to KNOW you CAN do it.(confidence thing). So knowing if you want to do it is completely independent from that or secondary, if you will. Let’s focus on the root first. Why don’t you think you can do this?May 7, 2015 at 12:30 pm in reply to: Cross the world for love…or stay home for stability #76371
Interesting. Something you just said is very telling to me. “ahh can I really do this?” should be “ahh do I really want to do this?” Do you see the difference? Which country- if you don’t mind me asking?May 7, 2015 at 12:06 pm in reply to: Cross the world for love…or stay home for stability #76369
I don’t know. I think your co-dependency might be taking over. Either that, or you’re a true romantic. What is so wrong with stability and the man waiting for you here?February 13, 2015 at 1:28 pm in reply to: Unconditional love #72730
Love is conditional with hopes of getting the same in return. I’m speaking of mature love according to John Gottman “acceptance, emotional support, commitment, calmness, respect, caring, kindness, friendship, and consideration” Unconditional love is ideal only if it’s not one-sided.February 13, 2015 at 1:02 pm in reply to: Unconditional love #72725
Unconditional love is idealized love. The reality is that we love with conditions. We all have dealbreakers in relationships. And having that belief can trap us in abusive relationships. We need reciprocation in love. It’s a give and take.
January 20, 2015 at 1:41 pm in reply to: Mindful man confused! (Decision making/presence) #71701
- This reply was modified 8 years, 1 month ago by jeena.
So your main question is “how do I know when to make a decision if I can’t solve the problem immediately?” Here are some things to consider:
1. put off making a decision until you’re thinking clearly (that is an act in the moment)
2. maybe right now you don’t have enough information to make an informed decision. (so the act of gathering/seeking is an act in the moment)
3. if you can’t decide on acting vs not acting now logically, then think about it by risk vs gain. i.e. if you’re bleeding out, you would go to the doc immediately..you wouldn’t think about it, right?
4. think of the worst case senario in any outcome of your decision. If you can handle it, then just do it and take responsibility for it. “Hope for the best, prepare for the worst”
5. your gut instinct is important. Don’t overthink things. the fact that you are overthinking this much, tells me you are ignoring your feelings. now that isn’t logical, is it?January 20, 2015 at 1:07 pm in reply to: Is it real or only in my head? #71698
Thank you again Filipe! I would agree that he may have really had a legitimate reason for backing out of meeting but he hasn’t offered another date yet. So that leaves me believing still that he just chickened out. He still shows interest online. It literally is like he wants to keep it as an online thing only. I guess time will tell for sure.
Wiseowl, thank your response! I am sorry you went through that. That is a real concern of mine. I’ve been trying to not fall into that same “trap” as you said. We were friends only for years so there was no strong emotions until recently when the idea of actually meeting came into play. I was getting excited about meeting him and wanted to pursue further especially since he seems to have already developed strong feelings for me without even meeting yet. I question that and I told him that until we actually meet, I would not know for certain that I had those same feelings. I mean, I feel something for him but I don’t think it’s real until we meet. This is why I want to know if others had experienced this before.January 15, 2015 at 11:40 am in reply to: Is it real or only in my head? #71392
Thank you Filipe and Katie!
I will go for it! He told me he loved me online but I can’t be sure it’s real unless we meet. It really surprises me that he backed out of meeting. That’s not showing me any love with action. I know we can’t just have an online thing. I’m not sure how it’s going to translate in person. In fact, maybe he’s not even who he says he is. So how can I say I love him back even if I have those feelings before meeting? So confused. I tried to make it real but he seems to want to keep it fantasy at this time. :/November 21, 2014 at 11:27 am in reply to: Why do we always want what we can't have #68213
Yes, I’m just going to stop altogether and just be friendly. I don’t like feeling like this. It is the worst feeling ever.
Oh Canada? A beautiful country. Great skiing! I’m in the States myself 🙂November 19, 2014 at 7:42 am in reply to: Why do we always want what we can't have #68120
You’re right! I shouldn’t worry about the pace. It’s just hard not knowing where I stand exactly. I keep getting mixed signals and it’s driving me insane! haha I’m sorry that you’re feeling down about he whole online dating scene. I used to be there myself and I know that feeling too. I did get a lot of messages but not from the one’s I wanted. It was frustrating, so I just stopped logging in. Perhaps, that is what those other women did too-gave up? Maybe they are not intentionally ignoring you. I probably should just delete my account so other guys don’t feel the way you do about it. (just curious-what part of the world are you in?)November 14, 2014 at 11:15 am in reply to: Why do we always want what we can't have #67839
Thank you Steve. Except he’s moving way too slow for me! I’m starting to think “he’s just not that into me”. I don’t know. How can I know for sure?
By the way, 40 is the new 30! Didn’t you know? You will get the chance at love again. Don’t just look on the dating sites. Get outside more. Millions of women waiting for a man like you. 🙂November 13, 2014 at 1:06 pm in reply to: establishing a relationship #67785
That’s a beautiful response, Matt! I agree! Paul, I’m in the same boat, except I haven’t expressed those overwhelming feelings for this very reason. As Matt says, we just have to silently wish for love to grow on their end as well.November 13, 2014 at 12:48 pm in reply to: Can I love someone who has never been in love? #67781
Just ask yourself one question. “Why am I in love with an emotionally unavailable man?”.