I don’t see any problem with this, but there are most likely better ways to spend your free time other than surfing the internet looking at women, especially if it makes you uncomfortable doing so. What makes you think you may do this? Is it boredom? Lonliness? Do you have a girlfriend? Why not join an online dating site? There you can talk and chat with real women. Do you have anxiety in social settings with women? Dating? Is this something you can talk about with a mentor or counselor?

Why not do other things with your time? Go for a walk in a park, see a movie, go to an espresso shop, a bookstore, the beach, a concert, an art gallery, so many things you can do..go out with friends. Have some fun. Don’t worry so much about being successful, a billionaire, as stated in another thread, because you can’t take any of that with you. Being successful isn’t about money or prestige at work. It won’t make you happy. What makes you successful is what you give to others and the legacy you leave behind. Giving your time to others in need. Do you want your tombstone to read “became rich at work” or “made others happy, and touched people’s lives. So, best thing to do, is get out..off the internet, “you tube” and go enjoy your life and people.

Hi Kylee,

I too have alot of fear, insecurities and anxiety in relationships. I feel if I stand up for myself, or try to compromise, or even seem a little argumentative, as every couple argues from time to time, I get extremely anxious, thinking they will eventually reject or abandon me, just like my Alcoholic mother did time and time again, just like my father did time and time again when he had to travel for business. Just like my siblings and I were torn apart by the courts because of my mother’s severe neglect of us. Just like losing so many friends, past loves, family members, seems like everyone leaves me.

With counseling I am working on my early childhood trauma. I am also on Anxiety/panic medication. I worry, and worry, and worry. If I can’t find something to worry about, I will find something, it’s a vicious cycle. Anxiety is the worst. Did you have any abandonment in your early childhood, or suffer from alot of loss early in life? If unresolved, this will wreak havoc in our adult relationships, as we associate our significant other with someone who abandoned us, or who we tried to please, or people who did not listen or nuture us in our early childhood. Try to work through this with counseling or a 12 step program if you can. Also anxiety medications are also very effective.

Hi Dreaming715,

First, you need to get out of the “comparison trap” many people put on a “mask” at parties. I see my very shy, somewhat introverted friends become the center of attention at parties. They do this, because they are lonely, do not have a boyfriend, want people to like them, so they will exaggerate charming stories so people will find them interesting and funny. However, as soon as they leave the party, they revert back to their former selves. Same with this girl at the party, maybe she too is lonely, has self esteem issues and puts on a different face in social situations to appear charming and likeable, however, no one knows what she is like behind closed doors. This is why you must not compare, because it will mess with you, and your self worth. You most likely have alot of qualities she wishes she has. Beauty is only skin deep, and I’m sure your boyfriend knows that. My ex used to “like” women’s pictures on Facebook, but he never flirted or corresponded with them, just as I am sure your boyfriend is not corresponding with that girl. He is moving in with you, not her, so he is not going anywhere and sees a future with you. I too have abandonment issues from early childhood, but you just have to ask yourself if your thoughts, are reality? Or just thoughts..and they are just thoughts.

Hi Lilly,

I would be feeling a little confused as well, if someone told me they were in love with me, seemed they were into me, yet has a wall around them at the same time. I too would be a little upset or hurt if my significant others parents came to town and I was not introduced to them. It seems like he has a lot of fear holding him back.

I would just talk to him, without putting too much pressure on him. Ask him what he sees the both of you at..are you his girlfriend? What are you to him? Tell him you feel confused as to where you stand with him, does he just see you as a friend or someone with a possible future. Does he introduce you as “his girlfriend”? Has he done anything romantic? Has he introduced you to his friends? Tell him you felt dismissed and hurt you were not introduced to his parents. Its better to know now, than months down the road when feelings get stronger.

Hi Brooke,

Have you ever read that highly popular best selling book (which later turned into a movie) “He’s just not that into you”. If not, I highly recommend it. This man does not want a committed relationship. He is happy with his life. He has in his own way “moved on” He may say he “loves you” but it’s just words and he is not walking his talk. I’m going to use of of my favorite quotes or two. “If a man really wants to be with you, he will move heaven and earth to be with you, no excuses.” “Never invest more time and energy on someone, than they invest in you”. I think the relationship unfortunately has reached a dead-end. You deserve better.

Hi Annie,

I was just seeing how you are doing, and hope you are feeling better about things.