As far as what you wrote here, Jack: “the expert is really the one asking for help”- re-read what you wrote here: examine it: why would The expert get the idea of asking for advice on what-to-do?

My assertion is that we are all our own best therapists. People can give us advice but it is up to us in the end. You can give me advice about my situation here, but you really don’t know the context. Anita, you are an expert on yourself, aren’t you? No one can tell you more about yourself, than you. Then our role in responding to cries for help here is to help people help themselves. Be able to access their own resources.
I see your main strength as empathy. When you respond to my post I feel listened to 100%. I feel truly validated and respected. And totally non-judgemental as well. That is an enormous counselling skill that not everyone has.
I hope it goes no further than a warning. This place would fall apart without you. You have helped a lot of people just through your attentive posts.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 1 month ago by jock.

none of us on Tiny Buddha are trained therapists. Take what we say here with a grain of salt

I think that is a wise thing to say Inky.
And someone needs to say it round here , now and then.
Thanks.

I just hope and pray that anyone who survives child abuse can somehow create a happy and positive life for themselves. They are due for a change of luck!

He thinks i’m scared to admit to myself that I need to let him go and move on.

Do you want us to reassure you that it is OK to let him go and move on?
It seems you are afraid to take responsibility for your own decision.
This is something that I struggle with too. Taking responsibility for big decisions. I am afraid of the ensuing guilt of making the wrong one. As I look at your situation, it seems much clearer to me. (as it is easier to see others’ best course of action than our own 🙂 )
My gut feeling is let him go of course and your boyfriend is right. He might be using reverse psychology with you , which is kind of manipulative. But I don’t know the real situation.
So my conclusion is anyway, whether you leave him or not, to not be afraid to make big decisions like this, even if it turns out you made a mistake later. procrastination is the worst decision of all said some famous person. 🙂
We all need the courage to dig deep and own our decisions!