Now nicotine is one addiction I did conquer.
So that means I can quit anything in life right?
So far, only managed to quit jobs.

But yeah I quit smoking 8 years ago, after smoking for 20 years.
Cold turkey after visiting a dental surgeon who said he hates operating on smokers due to risks under general anesthesia. (I was getting my wisdom teeth out.
Never touched a cigarette since. The surgeon showed me some gruesome photos of oral cancers.
Oh god that scared the poop out of me!

thanks sann
you are a good person, better than me I fear

I don’t feel qualified to give you advice because my luck has been so much better than yours.
My childhood was fine but did suffer self-esteem issues and workplace harassment in my adult life.
I do believe my lack of self-esteem has been a root cause of me being on the receiving end of the workplace bullying.
If I believed more strongly in myself, I would avoid a lot of the problems I come across. How can I expect others to respect me if I don’t respect myself?
“I’m not good enough” is a basic belief I have about myself. And I’m sure many others have about themselves.
Now I am saying to myself every day “I am good enough and I deserve to be treated with dignity” I am now sensitive to any kind of rudeness or sarcasm my work colleagues use. Nip problems in the bud if possible.
People pleasing might be one of your issues and perhaps self-esteem as well. I have to be aware of my people pleasing tendencies. I know some of the nastier type of work colleague will just steamroll me when they sniff any people pleasing traits. It is like an invitation for them to treat you with contempt.
Again I don’t pretend to have the answer to your bad luck. Certainly not another reason to beat yourself up. I think you deserve praise for your resilience and courage. Good luck!