Hey Dan!

Jasmine is right. When one person makes all the sacrifice for a relationship it builds resentment. Listen to your gut. Its always right.

Best of luck!

Hi Sam!
Everyone here makes excellent points. I totally think you guys can break this cycle but it will take lots of work. First of all you need to give him space to sort out his issues and allow yourself to do the same. Let him go. Its hard but you can do it. Take time off to find yourself. You’ve lost yourself in a fused relationship. Find that zest for life you had before you met him. Find fulfillment in your own life, so that your happiness fills you up and flows in to your relationship 🙂
Here’s an article that might help you 🙂
http://lovingboldly.com/blog/how-to-be-independent-in-a-relationship/

Thanks Lori! I was just checking the meditation and it looks very interesting. I will be starting it today when I get home. And Blue what you’re going through is actually very common. I have a problem with over thinking too. My anxiety gets a hold of me and I’m left drained after mentally torturing myself over and over again. I am trying very hard to break that habit now as I’ve often come to see that 1) it causes me innumerable amounts of stress 2) often worrying excessively about something only causes it to actually happen. I remember one night, my over thinking got so bad that I actually felt suicidal. It was a never ending stream of thoughts that would not stop no matter how hard I tried. I felt so hopeless. Come the next morning I felt drained, and I was in tears. Now when I start over thinking I start focusing on something else. I watch a movie or anything that will make me stop over thinking. The thing is there is no use trying to be logical with yourself when you’re mind is on a rampage. The more you resist the more the thoughts keep popping up. Its like me telling you to not think about a pink elephant and all your mind is doing is conjuring images of a pink elephant on a uni cycle (at least that’s what I see it doing- and its also holding an umbrella LOL)
Meditation helps a lot to quieten your mind. But you have to be ultra patient with yourself. It’s not going to go away over night. These are habits you’ve trained yourself with for over 20 years. Persistence is the key 🙂

Hey you guys!
Yes its a lot to do with setting your boundaries and learning to say No to people. Sometimes we need to set an example of how we want to be treated. And more often that not that example is set by learning to treat ourselves the right way. When we lead by example, everyone else will follow 🙂
Also you cant please everyone. Learn to respect your boundaries. End of the day, you have to look after yourself. Doing things for other people expecting them to like you or because you want something in return is a bankrupt game (Read more: http://lovingboldly.com/blog/people-pleasers/). I’m glad that you decided to look within yourself to identify this issue. Means you are on the right path. A lot of people would not take that risk. I guess its too much to look within yourself and say “okay I know what I’m doing wrong”. Good thing about owning your actions is that you get to modify behaviors, thoughts and limiting patterns so that you get better results in the future.

LOL I’ve been single for close to a year now, and my closest friends are either married, getting married or in relationships. I’m 25 and people around make me feel like I’m already an old maid. But I dont let it get to me. I always think I love my life exactly the way it is. I wouldnt change anything about it. Even if I have to stay single or decide to remain single, I will make it a good life. Its all in the way you look at it 🙂

Hello Ben
You’re spot on about loving yourself first, if you can’t love yourself, how can you expect someone else to love you back? I know you think you’re lonely but you really aren’t. Another key point to remember about your situation is that you should never feel “lonely” I mean its okay to feel “lonely” sometimes but the reason you get in to a relationship should not be to fill a void in your life. I used to do that too. I wanted to be in a relationship because I felt “lonely” then I realized that is never a good enough of a reason to jump in to a relationship. Your life needs to be full of things that keep you happy and engaged. Go for dancing lessons, take an art class, volunteer at a local charity, fill your life with fun and meaningful activities. That way you meet more new people too. More social gatherings mean you get to practice being confident. YOu make great friends and meet potential love interests. Its a great way to boost your self confidence. The more confident and happy you feel the more attractive you become to other people. Relationships cannot fill you up with the love you think you deserve, you need to fill yourself with the love you deserve then it spills out and fills everything else in your life.
Here’s an article to read 🙂
http://lovingboldly.com/blog/your-inner-critic/

Hi John
I can totally relate to your situation though my anxiety stems when ever I open up and be vulnerable with somebody. My situation is not general to everyone, like friends and family. I generally am quite confident and I make friends easily. My anxiety issues rise during relationships. Any time I have to be vulnerable with the other person, my anxiety kicks in, and I start self sabotaging myself. I have fears that prevent me from being accepted and loved for who I am. I seek constant validation and approval. Until I realized that my fear of rejection, the thing I am constantly trying to avoid is the same reason why it is a re-occurring situation in my life. Our brains are programmed to to look for similar situations. It’s a great adaptation since it prevents us from having to think about every situation all the time. So instead our automatic responses take over and similar situations are grouped together. However the problem starts when we start looking for similarities between our previous life experiences and our current life experiences. Anyway after constant struggling I’ve decided to let go and face my fears head on. You come to a point where you decide enough is enough you cant keep your fears from controlling your life. In my case, its being able to experience live my life to the fullest and being able to accept myself for the way I am and loving myself for it. So I let all my fears ago, for better or for worst, I have decided that I will embrace the consequences of my actions. Its better than being afraid every single day. Its hard but you just have to make yourself get out of your comfort zone. The more you are exposed to situations that constantly challenge you to grow, the more you will be to adapt to new situation because you will be forming new thoughts and emotions about your experiences. As you go along you can programme your brain to respond to these situations in a positive light.
Here’s an awesome article that might help you
LIES YOUR INNER CRITIC TELLS YOU

Hope it helps.
🙂