Feeling Bad for Bad, feeling guilty for feeling guilty… I get it and it a lousy loop to get stuck in.

The first step is stop. Stop by noticing that feeling bad abut feeling bad, guilty for feeling bad can only dig the hole deeper.

Your feelings are valid. You matter, Your feelings matter.  You don’t have to apologize for how you feel.  Feelings are information that can help you respond to a situation vice react to it. You don’t have to wield your feelings like a sword, you hurt me so I will hurt you… but can use them to understand who you are and what you need.

You have had a lot of shocks to the system and it is reasonable for you to ask for and take time to sort though them. A professional could really help. There is no shame in asking for help.

I wish you all the best

The Law of Attraction requires authenticity, to they own self be true, so if your unhappy, your unhappy… add to that the difficulty in knowing our authentic selves.    Its to easy to fall down the rabbit hole with the philosophy of LOA so would not spend much time thinking about it.  Just be you, as best as you can be.

If the house is a symbol of Self – The house that the uncle being small could indicate that you might be feeling confined trying to live in a self that is not yours and to small.  Teachings and learning holding you back instead of expanding you. Because of this a part of you may feel like no one “sees” you, your authentic self – perhaps pretending to be someone you’re not. (You may not even be aware of this part of yourself that wants to be expressed)

The dead ends indicate a problem connecting to your house/self and that some thinking or feeling is blocking you.

The solution is a new perspective, perhaps stop running and hop a fence or two and go around the houses. You don’t have to face this issue head on

If the dream was mine I would say that I was experiencing tension between what I was taught to think, and beliefs I inherited about how Life should/must be – with my experience of life. And or perhaps my thinking and beliefs might not align with how I’m living and what I do. My actions not matching my words

In order to belong and be accepted by my community/family I might be resisting making the tension conscious. Repressing the authentic self… going along to get along and avoiding any confrontation. This issue tends to be associated with identity (who am I if I rejected by our community…) which is why the ego (small i) might fear it – with the subconscious expressing that fear as being hunted by killer.

Hi Peace Hawk

I very much recommend ‘The User Illusion: Cutting Consciousness Down to Size’ – by Tor Norretranders It’s a philosophical and scientific study of the idea of life experience being an illusion

In Much of Buddhist philosophy you will hear the words that are similar, that the life is an illusion.

“We live in illusion and the appearance of things. There is a reality. We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all.” ― Gautama Buddha – That is of course a paradox and so difficult to understand but I believe it to be a truth.

Our ability to “see” and be fully conscious of each moment, each now, is limited and so we fill in the gaps through the filters of our desire, fears hopes, beliefs, faith… and create illusion, a user illusion. A goal of Buddhism is to become conscious (Enlightened) were the now is experienced as it is without filters. (If we do so we become enlightened and maybe conscious of the unconscious (another paradox) and know that everything we ‘though’ was real was not real but an illusion of our own making)

In scientific terms, ego Conscious is limited. Ego Consciousness can process about 8 to 16 bits of information a second where as our body (unconscious) process millions of bits of information a second. We see more then we ‘see’, hear more then we ‘hear’ know more then we ‘know’….  If ego concourses had to be aware and control everything the body needs to live we would all die.  (the unconscious is capable of multi tasking, ego consciousness is not – go ahead try adding two numbers together while reciting a singing a song, you will see that ego consciousness divides time into slices – time division multiplexing. Ego consciences is always directed so you will go from one task to another. You can train yourself to do this so quickly it might look like multi tasking but its not)

So Ego conscious also is linear – to understand and operate in the world the ego conscious breaks down each moment of now into cause and effect. In the Quantum world, everything happens all at once and there is no past, present or future just the now which is not a moment of time but a moment of time and space (not the same thing as time does not exist by isself).  “…for us physicists believe the separation between past, present, and future is only an illusion, although a convincing one.”.” ― Albert Einstein – (sound familiar there is only the now and everything is one we are all one)

Ego conscious as well as being linear is also slow. It takes 0.5+ seconds to process the bits of experience that our consciousness focuses on. In the 0.5+seconds (an eternity) the experience is processed though our filters, our hopes, expectations, dreams, fears, desire…. most of which are unconscious.  This means we never experience the now as it is but only after they pass through our filters and thus create illusion. Interestingly communication technology takes advantage of the fact that we create illusion and fill in the gaps.

Anyway, if one accepts that they are only conscious of a very small portion of the now (of all the now’s occurring simultaneously around the globe) and that they are filling in the gaps, one cannot help but become more compassionate. One realizes that one’s judgments are perceptions, information only, influenced by filters most not of our choosing.  One must continue to act on one truth as one knows it to be in the moment but with compassion and in this way we learn and become. Life is a illusion though we are the reality of it – co-creators with the divine –  If you want to go down the rabbit hole further.

In dream interpretation (depth phycology) each Character (animal, person or even object) in a dream symbolical represents an aspect of the dreamer

In such light the social studies teacher could represent your thinking and feelings about have to be a good citizen as has been thought to you but that you may not as yet made your own – The primary purpose of social studies is to help young people develop the ability to make informed and reasoned decisions for the public good as citizens of a culturally diverse, democratic society in an interdependent world.

A Car is often symbolic of the ideas, hopes, dreams that drives us. How we get to where we want to go. A car can also be symbolic of how we like to be seen moving through the world, sporty, reliable, rich, practical….

In you’re dream the social studies teachings is trying to hurt you by running you over, suggesting a disconnect with what you have learned with how you experience the world or want to.  You escape by running down hill suggesting that this issue won’t be solved by setting lofty goals or reaching some new heights but instead downward into inward self reflection.  You wanted to help others but you can’t help others until you help yourself /know and own your truths which at some level you know.

There is a ‘friendly’ quality of the self that wants to protect you by calling the cops. Cops are often symbolic of the societal rules we live by and enforce. Suggesting an expectation that the societal rules will protect you… yet there may be some conflict between the rules and your ‘Social studies’ expectations.

In the next part of the you’re in your uncle house. A house is often symbolic of the Self as a whole, all the rooms and such represent different qualities or attributes of the dreamer. That the house was not yours points to an issue of the self that you have taken on, Inherited, that you relate to, but may not be yours. When you think about your uncle what are the first things that come to mind? What do you relate suspect does not see you?

Pool is a game of skill and knowing the angles does that remind you of anything?

A gun in a dream can represent as symbol of power, control, aggression and or defence. In the dream, you are being threatened by the killer with the gun suggesting a confrontation. Such confrontations bring about consciousness.   The ego fears death as an end and so often views change as if being killed, hunted by a killer. But death is necessary to life. We must let go of the past, of what’s not working for us so that we might grow and continue becoming. Such letting go is a kind of death.

Its you uncle who is made to get into the truck.… no mention of you being made to get into the truck. In the dream, have you become your uncle at this point?  You are looking to escape but every path so far is a death end.

A Truck is usually used as a work vehicle. Perhaps your tying to work though this issue by “working” your way through it – going up hill – perhaps thinking that if you do what others expected of you, put your noise to the grind stone and bull dog your way though everything will work out) the dream suggesting that this is not the right road to take. “Doing” is not going to help here but ‘being’ might. Taking time to connect to your authentic self and taking ownership of what you believe may be the way. Trust your intuition, learn with an open mind.

Relationships are the crucible in which we discovered ourselves. Meaning we will create, usually unconsciously, confrontations so that me might heal them. When the relationship is a safe place for our “ghosts” to play, we grow, if we remain unaware of our “ghosts” at play the relationship will become an unsafe place to work though our healing.

Sometimes it takes the pain of a relationship to get us to a point where we become conscious our issues

I Recommend the books by David Richo as a guide

When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships by David Richo

Psychotherapist David Richo explores how we replay the past in our present-day relationships—and how we can free ourselves from this destructive pattern. We all have a tendency to transfer potent feelings, needs, expectations, and beliefs from childhood or from former relationships onto the people in our daily lives, whether they are our intimate partners, friends, or acquaintances. When the Past Is Present  helps us to become more aware of the ways we slip into the past so that we can identify our emotional baggage and take steps to unpack it and put it where it belongs

The Lone Wolf It’s a striking image: a wild, dominant wolf, alone and on its own seeking prey while ruling its territory. This metaphor is not just popular among young men who seek to define themselves as rugged individuals. The lone wolf is also something of an analogy for a strong leader, a successful executive, or a man’s man..

Yet, there’s something not quite right about this image of the lone wolf. To say that the lone wolf is a myth is an understatement. Myths having meaning that convey a deeper truth meant to teach or inspire. But the lone wolf? It’s nothing but a fabrication! A lone wolf is a distortion of the reality of the lives of wolves.

Wolves are pack animals. Their survival depends on the group. Their innate strategies for hunting are based on group organization. They live in hierarchical groupings or communities, if you will. They take care of each other and depend on each other. It’s the pack that makes individual members strong and successful.

There are lone wolves. Lone wolves typically fall into two categories. One is the senior alpha who used to be the head of the pack. Such a lone wolf was driven out of the pack by a younger rival who took his place. The other is the younger rival who challenged the alpha, lost, and wasn’t permitted by the alpha to remain in the pack. This latter is the wolf that just doesn’t fit in. Lone wolves typically become weak because of lack of nutrition and die. They rarely survive very long on their own and often resort to feeding off dead carcasses and have no territory of their own.

Wolves live with a strong sense of inter-dependence. That’s something that seems almost absent in Western culture today because of our values on individualism. We want to believe that we can make it on our own and be the “master of my own fate,” to quote Henley’s poem Invictus. Such independence is an illusion. What’s true is that we’re all in this together – and depend on each other.

The heart of division is a belief that one is better than others and that one can be strong without others. That false belief is at the heart of the myth of the lone wolf. But the truth is the same for wolves as it is for people: the one who separates self from the larger community in the quest for power ends up dying weak and alone. At heart, it’s our cooperative connections with others that enable us, as individuals and as the human race, to thrive.   – Lou Kavar

• This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Peter.

well said Cheryl!

Like you I struggled with my Christian Beliefs that I grow up in and eventually left the church though my Faith has remained (Faith and Belief are not the same thing). I struggled with guilt and shame and like you pretty much because I felt I was disappointing people I cared about. It was difficult separating my desire to be part of the community and my beliefs and faith.

My own feeling is that the only way to Unlearn something is to really Study it. And if your open to Symbolic language a study of religion teaching can be eye opening

Guilt, Shame the feeling of having to follow the rules to be good and loved tends to be reinforced by a faith/spirituality that has stalled and or Religious Organisations that have stalled. (Unless your situation isn’t about a mater of faith)

Church/Religious organisations are in a difficult position. On the one hand the goal is to help its members achieve spiritual growth, while at the same time the nature of organisations are to contain. One belongs because we all think the same and follow the rules of the organisation while Spiritual growth leads away from rules. I suspect that part of the process of spiritual growth is leaving the Church and only then return.

For my own part though I do not belong to a Church organisation though I still hold to Christian teachings of the Birth, Betrayal, Death and Resurrection of Christ.   That Birth, Betrayal, Death and Resurrection is a reality of every breath we take. Every Breathe a birth, a sacrifice, and death. The message to Follow Christ into this Truth is a YES to life as it is. Death and Life not two sides of a coin but integrated parts of each other. Wholeness… Holiness.

Anyway, I wish you well on you journey.

The book ‘Stages of Faith’ by James W. Fowler might interest you.

You may also find Joseph Campbells books and or audio lectures Helpful  for example Thou Art That: Transforming Religious Metaphor.

“Every religion is true one way or another. It is true when understood metaphorically. But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors, interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.”  ― Joseph Campbell