Hi Faber Castell

Chakra Cleansing is not the same as chakra opening. In fact unless you know what you are doing I wouldn’t recommend opening chakras because as you so rightly said it can connect you with some odd energies. But even as you clean your chakras, if you do it right it is possible to open them even if for short periods of time , which is why I said it is important to ground yourself. Doing energy work always requires grounding.  If you ground yourself and protect your energy by imagining that you are sealing yourself and your energy inside a bubble(this is very good practice to do when you are with someone who drains your energy or is very negative) then you should be fine. However, this type of work involves fixing the problem at the source and it is deep inner work. It is not something you do once or twice and forget about it. So this is not something I recommend for everyone.And if you have reservations of working with chakras then I would advise you work with someone that knows what they are doing. Having said that, the safest thing for you to do is perhaps to go down the route of making plans and introducing something new as the previous  contributor advised. However if your chakras are heavily blocked creating something new and setting up a plan and carrying it out isn’t going to be happening that easily because of the blockages. This will be achieved easily after the chakras are cleaned but not likely before.  In fact you proved my point when you asked in reply to the previous contributor’s suggestion  ”  but also I’m not really sure about how to make a detailed plan or a more methodic approach to a relationship with another, I mean, I still don’t have it but do you mean like manifesting it?” It makes absolute sense that you would say that.

I would recommend Tess Whitehurst’s way of unblocking chakras with affirmations, it is easy to do and you will find that they deliver results.

https://tesswhitehurst.com/unblock-your-chakras-with-these-empowering-affirmations/

Most of people’s problems happen at an energy level, and yes you can spend alot of time fiddling with superficial solutions and get no results or temporary results. However  if you are willing to put in the work, the problem is best need to be fixed at the source. But it’s powerful stuff and some people don’t want to experience powerful change but would be invested in just ambling along with their issues. And that’s alright because sometimes that is the best one can do.Whatever you decide to do trust your gut instinct and do what feels right for you.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by Shae Hepburn. Reason: font

Hello Faber Castell

You’re clearly dealing with some sort of ambivalence, which comes out when you talk about this flirty guy. You need to work with your chakras. I cannot begin to tell you just how powerful  doing that along with “womb healing” is.  A woman becomes a powerful sexual magnet when that happens.  But you need to be clear about what you want to attract and that is crucial. So I would suggest doing a daily chakra clearing exercise (google and choose one that resonates with you) and  do some womb healing afterwards. Now this is powerful so I wouldn’t suggest doing it every night because you need to have time to integrate whatever comes up.

How to do is easy: you simply sit in a quiet meditative state, and put your cupped hands as close to your womb as possibly (just below the belly) and ground yourself. (google how to do this)Next focus on your sexual energy as it feels right now. The aim is to invite the energy to “speak to you”. If you relax enough the stuff that will came up is powerful. It will bring up trauma issues, abandonment issues, self worth issues, feeling of being blocked creatively etc…. If nothing comes up,don’t force it, but thank the energy and say that you will try again tomorrow. The aim is to establish an ongoing connection.  I have had issues come up to do with my mother which I was carrying and had nothing to do with me but that I was carrying it as my own belief. What I can say is that you will revive your sexual energy and you will attract men like crazy, regardless of what you look like. You see for women the womb is where our power lies in terms of starting new things, creativity and sexuality. But when all this is done you need to be clear what you want to attract. If you clear your chakras and work on connecting and clearing your sacred womb and you have not become clear on what you want to attract , you will attract that ambivalence by having unsuitable men make advances at you. Plus and (this is a plus)  you will know it’s working because not only will you start looking after yourself in a new way, your beliefs will start changing, you will have a spring in your step, people will comment how radiant you look. And men will be drawn to you.

This works but you need to practice this a few times. Your sexuality will originate from your womb and you will become less obsessed about your looks and focus more about how your energy makes other people feel. It is powerful. I know because  I have tried it and a few women I know tried it and it worked really well. But like I said this is a practice that needs to be practiced with regularity. The fact that you are perceptive enough to understand your energy is weird means that I suspect you have alot of blockages in one or two chakras and also in your womb space. I suspect your ex-boyfriend’s coldness left a mark on you affecting how you feel about yourself and your self worth. You mention that the sex was good  but he ended coldly with you meaning that subconsciously you could have believed that perhaps there is something wrong with you for him to have treated you like that. (hence the weird sexual energy)Again if that is the case it will come up when you do the womb healing(or something else).

It would be great to see how you get on.

Janice

This guy is showing typical signs of a control freak. Absolutely do not show him your phone. And consider yourself lucky  that you are  no longer with him because next he would start telling you what to wear, what friends to see, who to look at etc…

If a man said I was dirty and impure I would ask “what are you doing with me then?”. No point in him judging me, because in doing so he is judging himself.This guy is not good news and I would  QUICKLY move on and find someone else.He has done you a favour, as you could have married him only to find out what a miserable life you would have with him.Love is not a man telling you he loves you and acting the opposite. His actions speak louder than his words, but the bottom line is that he is trying to control you.

But I leave you with one question : why are you settling for men like this? Do you not feel you deserve a man that will treat you with love and respect? Why not? Only you can answer that.

@Kelly I agree with you. Saying you warned your boyfriend when you should be mature enough to speak up, is just using excuses to justify bad behaviour that is cheating. But that happens alot. And yes while we would like to believe that there are loads of people in this world that are mature and adult, we have to consider that everyone is not like us. @Ben can take my opinion and use it or discard it that is his choice. But what worries me is the prickliness my comments have provoked.Whether Ben’s girlfriend is manipulative or not is not for you or me to judge and that is not what I did. This post is about him so it would be helpful to keep the responses on point .By the way where is Ben?

I think, if I am not mistaken you want to know if it’s your insecurity speaking to you or if it’s your gut telling you to watch out. That’s tricky because sometimes we think we are following our intuition but rather it’s just our fear playing tricks on us. But I have discovered a sure way to find out the difference.
Sit with it.
In other words have some alone time and relax or meditate and bring up the situation and concentrate on how your body feels about it. Get a sense about it. In other words you will probably come up with a feeling you cannot quite name that makes you feel uncomfortable. If you work with feelings that are in your body you will always sense the truth about any situation because the body’s felt senses never lie. The trick is to learn to tune in to the feelings and understand what that feeling tells you.If you’re not someone who is in touch with your feelings or intuition you’re not going to have an amazing epiphany so be patient, because this works. And when you know how to tune in properly your true intuition is never wrong.
I would suggest also talking to her and telling her truthfully how you feel (the level of truthful depends on how comfortable you are with her) and most importantly watch her reaction and your own reaction to ascertain what’s really going on.If what is happening is that you feel insecure about yourself then knowing this will allow you to work on those aspects of yourself to make your relationship stronger with her. This part is about you. However if your intuition is right and you are sensing that something is starting to develop between the two then you need to understand what you can do to nip this in the bud. It might not be anything to do with this guy but rather it might be about your girlfriend. Maybe your girlfriend likes the attention she’s getting from this guy that she wishes she was getting from you. Ben you seem to be someone who is quite switched on, so really it’s about trusting what you feel to be right. I am sure you will make sense of it.

Clearly she has picked up on the fact that this bloke likes her otherwise she wouldn’t be saying that she needs to watch how she treats him. But then being a woman myself what she says could be code for her trying to tell you that perhaps you need to watch out as someone else is about to hone in on your territory and that you need to pay more attention to her needs, otherwise she could be tempted. It is impossible to tell because I don’t know her or you.But you certainly can have access to this by watching her reaction when you talk to her about this and even watching your own reaction will start showing whether there is genuine concern or if you’re just tapping into your own insecurities. Whichever it might be don’t jump to any conclusion until you know what’s really going on.

@Sandy before you make any decisions… stop, get a pen and paper out and write down what you want from a relationship with a man. Okay I read your post and you already did the checklist, but that’s NOT what I am talking about. I am talking about what really matters. For example: how do you want to feel when you’re with someone you love? How do you want to be treated? How do you want to treat him?How will you know that he is looking after you? In other words what specifically will indicate to you that he loves you before he ever utters the words? You get the picture. The point is women get bogged down with nonsense: for example he must have super straight teeth, shiny shoes, he has to be tall and have a Porsche etc…That’s all fine and great but what if you get a man that ticks all the boxes and yet treats you like dirt? So the point I am making is that you need to know what you want from this man or any man for matter and that will clear up your confusion.

I can tell you right now that this guy has issues and the biggest one is that he does not feel good enough for you. Secondly because of this insecurity he seems to have devised a way to protect himself by not fully including you in his life. How do I know this? Well look at the fact that he does subtle put downs and then says he’s joking. Actually he isn’t. He puts you down and temporarily feels good about himself but the cost is that you get to feel bad. Is that how you really want to be treated? You seem to be an insightful sensitive young woman that deserves a man that “gets” her. From what you wrote it seems like you dislike being with someone who is not going to treat you the way you feel you deserve to be treated and you know what…. follow that feeling because it’s telling you something important about yourself. It’s telling you to honour yourself. The point is: in any relationship each calls the shots as to how they allow the other to treat them. If you had said to this bloke the first time he put you down that you don’t know tolerate that then you would have set the boundaries quite clearly as to what is acceptable or not for you. But don’t beat yourself up, if you knew better you would have done better. But use this opportunity to get to understand yourself better.

So before you decide to possibly end things, get clear what you want for yourself and from a man and then sit down with him and address these. Discuss the fact that you sensed he perhaps feels insecure around you and reassure him. However make it clear that there are certain things you will not tolerate in the relationship any longer and spell them out clearly, without blame and accusations. If he truly loves you he will move mountains to be with you and he will honour and respect what you need from him (this works both ways) however if he ignores you then at least you know you have tried your best and he has effectively made the decision that you don’t need to make and that he is not worthy of you, and that really you should move on. If anything this is a way to either strengthen the relationship or clear up the confusion and realise that he is not for you. Loving is all fine an well, but at the end of the day if a man (or woman)does not honour you then what is the point of being with them?