The mind is use to doing whatever it wants to do. Trying to control the mind makes it jump around more. Much like a wild animal, it does not want to be controlled. But, after starting meditation, one begins to find calmness and peace. It takes time and practice. The more practice the better you get at developing concentration. The better the concentration, then you can control yourself moment to moment. It is not an easy thing to do. After a while, one might begin to straighten things in one’s life.

The emotions arise and pass along. That is life. One is not happy all the time. One becomes happy and then soon one becomes calm. One becomes disturbed and then one becomes quiet, undisturbed. All things change. Just don’t cling to one moment’s emotions. Understand it and then move forward. Remember it but move on. Another emotion will come along. It isn’t what you feel at the moment but how you feel in general.

One moment crying about how much you love her and think about her. Then next moment, the feeling drops and you don’t understand why that happened. Change happens. One moment you have happiness but you can not be happy all the time. One always needs to reset and then can be happy again. The more you feel the happiness then the more you can move forward and evolve with it.

Emotions can be force to change when one is intimidated by close contact. But, people can get use to anything. Try being with her and then let the memory help you enjoy those moments. Then you will experience joy and then calm. Next time you get to be close again then you will enjoy it more. The repetition helps. Experience the joy.

Some men are afraid of that initial sexual contact due to fear that they are not enough and will disappoint their partner. This can happen more if there has been very little sexual experience. Not knowing if the self is enough. Lacking the self-confidence. But, if one can get thru the initial fright then a much more deeper connection can be made. Relationships are made to evolve. If you hold back and only have this platonic relationship then it will wither due to her not getting the closeness from sexual contact. And yes, the frightening sexual factor can lead to the emotional shut down. Fright can lead to drop everything and run. From my perspective, if you are all in then you need to give it your all. Let her know how you feel about her. Then take her reactions to show you if you can move forward. Listen to her. If she says stop then stop. If she lets you continue then show her you care about her.

Society does not like men messing with children especially little girls. This is not to say that you can’t meet and talk. It is a warning that actions have consequences. You may not experience any cause you are the little girl. But, the man can end up with serious penalties. Be honest. I am fairly sure that whatever it is you think you have (relationship) can wait a year.

I am sorry I went there, … “Take a deep breath unless you are in the fart zone“, that got to me. Almost laughed out loud. I do my meditation in the living room alone. And feel free to let it out. But, always wondered what to do when in a room with other in a Zendo? As a kid, whenever my family went out, first thing my sister wanted to know was where is the bathroom and is it clean. Strange things one remembers??

Alessa, I usually do not buy the books but spend time reading them while in the bookstore. But, when I saw the comics about Buddhism, I just had to have it. Hopefully someday my daughter will find an interest in them. She use to love graphic novels. The pictures helped to understand the story.

That is an 8 volume classic about the life and times of the Buddha. I like the comics because they are easy to read and sometime funny. I sometimes wish I was funny and could make people laugh. At one time, in high school, I learned a bunch of jokes just so I could try to make people laugh. Well, it didn’t work out so well. Not a good joke teller.

I have practiced meditation before when I was younger. And now more so as I get older and I see death surround me more and more. Grand parents passed away. Older sister died of cancer. Parents passed away. Just stuff one does not expect to happen yet it does. So, yeah, I want the answers and the meaning of life. I want to know if there is life after death. Of reincarnation or rebirth. Then there is the wish that my daughter will live a healthy and happy life of which I would give up everything for.

Guess I am too grounded in my ego to let it go so easily. Still, I sit and ask what am I? Who amI?. Trying to find that which watches thoughts arise and disappear. No answer. But the self inquiry goes on. Then there is the silence, the quiet while just sitting. Attention holds the awareness. removing obstacles. A lightness moves in. Compassion. Discomfort in the legs. Yeah, …

The real I is separate from the body. Death is an illusion of the body.

That is why he walks alone??

When my parents and my wife’s mother passed, hospice was a great resource. They helped us alot. To get help for the patient and to help the family too.

I don’t have any inspirational videos. And the only book I have on my desk is “Basic Buddhism Through Comics” by Mitsutoshi Furuya. My other book is “The three Pillar of Zen” by Phillip Kapleau. Both books do not do justice to Buddhism. But, they are simple enough for me to understand. I especially like the Comics.