Hey Roberta,

Thanks. Needed someone to call me a butt head. LOL. Yeah, i know Ann hasn’t been back. And she probably found her answer already. I just like rattling James cage and see what shakes out. He talks like a wiseman but shows no compassion. Talks and talks then needs to clarify his answers. Then goes to insults like,

Oooh, strike me in my heart, … arrggh. I am hurt. I am going to cry my eyes out. LOL.

Love is all conditional. What makes it love is the caring and the working together to maintain a relationship. It isn’t,

That is wishful thinking. But what do I know after all I am just a person who can’t handle the truth, life wise and spiritual wise.

Sorry, I am being difficult. I apologize for being difficult to get along with. But, I do promise to stay out of James threads.

Relationships aren’t about a perfect match. Relationships are hard work.
But, the reward is having someone you love and loving you.
Of course, there are those who should not stay a couple and there are those who will stay together forever.
What is the deciding factors? I don’t know.
That is dependent upon the couple.

To give outright advice that a couple should break up??
Makes me wonder whose shoulders one stand upon??

I know I am going to say something stupid so just take this with a huge rock of salt.
There is a joke I heard where a woman is complaining to her therapist about her husband getting angry.
She is afraid that her husband might explode. So, the therapist says that anytime he begins to get angry
to put some water in her mouth and swish it around. Keep doing that until he calms down.
After a week of doing this, she returns to the therapist and says that little trick is working.
And ask how does swishing water in her mouth calms her husband down. The therapist says that if
she doesn’t say anything then there isn’t anything for him to get upset about.

Well, that might have nothing to do with your situation.
But, if each person is making notes about what the other did wrong.
This is no way to have a relationship. Making your feelings depend upon how the other reacts.
It is a recipe for manipulations and calculations and just plain turmoil.
And it won’t get better as each thinks about what the other has done.
And then it begins to fester.

I am sorry. I am not giving advice. I wouldn’t know what is the best way to go.
Lately, I just ask myself what is important to me
And then I live for that.

That is fantastic to find peace within oneself while doing tasks that usually bores one. I personally like routines. Wake up in the morning and make my wife breakfast. When my kid wakes up then make her breakfast. She never knows what she wants but it is usually not what I make her. So sometimes I have two breakfasts and she doesn’t want to eat. Then feed the chickens. Don’t know how they stand the cold. I bring feed and a new tub of water. The water is frozen overnight. Sometimes the chickens will eat my kids breakfast so I don’t have to. They love oatmeal.

Sorry off topic again. My mind drifts which makes the meditation a bit of a work out. A friend calls that creeping vines. But, I am told to just sit and watch the thoughts like cars going past my porch. Patience to just sit and not think and be aware. Don’t know why that is easy but to listen to another person talk on and on makes me itchy pants. Guess, got to develop some interest in it first. Maybe that is the key to living a good life? Having enough interest in it to live it well??

Alessa said, “And yes, I have been worrying about the future with my child. He will start to make his own way in the world and I won’t be able to protect him. He will go through suffering. As a parent, this doesn’t sit right with me. I am used to suffering. I would not want him to suffer. Maybe this comes from a deep seated wish to erase the suffering I experienced as a child. I don’t want him to suffer as I did. I hope that he suffers much less. No child deserves suffering. 🩵”

Yes he will go thru suffering. But life isn’t just suffering. There is joy, hope, happiness, pleasure. Would you try to protect him from him from life? I understand the need and the feeling to want to help your child. And if the child had to suffer that you would gladly take on that suffering if it would help him. If something bad happened then you would blame yourself. I know what it means to have a child and to want to prevent their suffering. Life happens. And we can only just do the best we can with what we have. Life brings its own lessons to be learned whether it is thru happiness or suffering. You can only be there when he calls and help him when you see you can. And there will be times when … Sorry, lost track of what I was saying. I just had a Senior moment. Where was I ? Never mind. Maybe I should erase this? Ah fudge. Sorry.