Forum Replies Created
You’re welcome, and thanks so much!
My moderator DID email about some posts, but there was a time when the forums weren’t moderated by anyone else, and I wasn’t really on top of it myself either. I don’t have a large team, and I’ve always worn a lot of hats! Probably too many.
@SereneWolf ~ Based on my emails with Anita, I think it’s deeper than needing space to recharge. But perhaps with space she’ll see things from a different perspective. I hope so, as I agree with everyone who wrote about all the good she’s done!
@Tee – I 100% agree with what you wrote about constructive feedback. Criticism doesn’t always have to lead to conflict if someone delivers it constructively, with positive intent, and the person on the receiving end keeps an open mind. I’m sorry that you felt silenced by this ‘rule.’ Your feedback is valuable and your thoughts and feelings matter!
@Helcat ~ I can see how that exchange would be distressing. I don’t think I’ve seen all your exchanges with Anita, but I’m so sorry you had interactions that felt abusive to you!
I apologize for my shortcomings in addressing this situation. I emailed with Anita because she and I have emailed many times over the years. Perhaps I should have emailed you too instead of posting here to learn more about your experience in all of this. Though I do believe it’s important to honor a “no contact” request, I don’t believe this situation is black and white or that there’s a villain here.
Regardless, Anita has asked me to remove her account, and I am going to do that now. You’re still welcome to email me if you’d like to discuss this further. I’m also planning to post a new thread about this, and I welcome additional feedback there!
You’re right, you absolutely have a right to protest abuse. My moderator DID email me about some past exchanges here in the forums, and I’ve discussed some of them with Anita before. Can you please email me with more specifics? You can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thanks so much!
I know that miscommunication and conflict are unavoidable parts of engaging with other people, especially in an online forum, since it’s easy to misconstrue someone’s written words and the intentions behind them. I also totally understand the desire to clear the air. (And just so you know, I appreciate all the time you’ve devoted to helping people in the forums. You’ve done a lot of good, and I know your heart is always in the right place!)
That being said, I’d like to gently request two things.
First, can you please only comment on a post if your comment is related to the thread/offering advice to a poster?
Secondly, can you please respect Anita’s wishes and stop addressing her instead of trying to seek closure?
You’re welcome to report anything you find problematic, and the moderator will then decide what to do from there. But you might want to let the posters themselves decide if a reply is offensive or in violation of community standards. Sometimes what seems insensitive to one person might seem direct but helpful to another.
Thank you for trying to keep this a safe space for authentic sharing! And thank you in advance for honoring these requests.
P.S. I just saw your response to the thread you started last week. I don’t believe there are any other unknown policies. You’re right, I should update the guidelines, and I will do that now!
- This reply was modified 8 months ago by tinybuddha.
That was very kind of you to congratulate a member for their growth. I don’t generally moderate the forums myself (someone else handles that), but I DID agree with the moderator that new topics should be focused on questions for advice and support, not comments for individual forum members. I should have emailed you to explain instead of leaving you wondering. My apologies for not doing that!
I’ve removed the part about wishing death upon all of humanity, as I can see how that could make some feel unsafe.
Irina: I think it’s wonderful that you do so much to help animals, and I’m glad you’re working on inflicting less pain on yourself!
Thank you so much for the kind words, PearceHawk! I’m touched by what you wrote, and thrilled to know that the site has been helpful to you. =)
You’re most welcome!June 12, 2017 at 1:26 pm in reply to: He says He is dealing with things and has become emotionally unavailable #152830
Hi everyone! Lori here. I saw this conversation and thought I would jump in to point something out. Anyone is welcome to talk to anyone in the forums, not just the original poster. I understand why Anita chooses to only address the person seeking advice, but that’s not actually a forum guideline, so please don’t feel you have to do the same. These are community forums, and talking to each other is what builds community. It’s best to keep the conversation on topic or start a new thread if you’d like to discuss something different. But please do feel free to converse with each other!
@anita This is a challenge from Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges. (This section of the forums is dedicated to discussing/completing the challenges from the book.)
In case you’re curious, the challenge reads:
Complete the writing prompt below. Then share this with someone, in real life or online at http://tinybuddha.com/love-forums, to help you work through your shame and break through the fear of how others will perceive this.
People would definitely judge me if they know that I…
You’re most welcome!
Good point Kate! I originally had crocheting, but then I was trying to condense the categories somewhat. Since there are a lot of crafts conversations, I decided to merge it all into one main forum. Incidentally, I love crocheting! I’ve made more than a dozen blankets in my time! It’s such a relaxing and even meditative hobby.