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Dear cherryblossom,
Firstly just to let you know even I am currently in a jobless situation after working for a company for 6.5 years. Also this is the third time there is a gap in between my employment. It is not new about all what you have explained about your company’s situation. @Inky has aptly summarized it as – “it is that tough out there!!”
So then what to do during this situation…
1) You can be sad about your situation, but don’t be unhappy.
Try to keep yourself happy and cheerful by doing things that make you happy, by doing all the nice things that you like. There could be many of them and starting by making a list of those will itself keep your mind off of your concerns and then following that list will further elevate your contentment leading you to inner states of peacefulness, joyousness and merriment.At the same time, keep applying to jobs. Do not stop them. But the idea is to keep your state of mind in a happy, peaceful and joyful state irrespective of whatever happens, such that all good things start to be coming to you in the form of a job or it may well be anything else.
2) Please go through the link as well as the video on this post
(http://tinybuddha.com/topic/i-got-fired-today/#post-113468)
I have intentionally pointed the link to the follow-up post so that you read that too.3) Switchwords
In his book ‘The Secret of Perfect Living’, James T. Mangan created a psychological system, in which one could engage their subconscious minds and achieve certain specific mental states by focusing their attention on one-word affirmations called Switchwords.These Switchwords are powerful words that connect directly to our subconscious mind, helping clear blocks to success and activating our ability to manifest love, money, creativity, self-healing and success.
What are Switchwords? – Above is a short summary. If you want to know more about them then read on or else go to the ‘How to use Switchwords?’ section below.
The power of the mind in creating our experiences is amazing. Switchwords when uttered frequently either silently or loudly or mentally, our subconscious mind listens to it and makes adjustments towards the reality of that statement. The subconscious mind does not filter or judge our thoughts. To it, the feelings or emotions are neither pleasant nor unpleasant, it cannot differentiate between actual reality and mental suggestions; it simply acts on our statement.
Switchwords bypass the conscious mind and activate the subconscious switches. They can change your energy system to allow the Universe to fetch out your wishes, your desires and your needs to materialize them.They are used to help find abundance, bring love, find lost articles, enhance relationships, center attention on you, become a good orator (speaker/presenter), enhance your learning skills, connect to your creativity, get transportation when in need like a bus, or a taxi, and so forth.
They will help us attract opportunities, people, circumstances, events, possessions, wealth, or a life style with the power of our minds to create love, money, health, miracles, new ideas, solutions to problems, beauty, peace, wisdom, protection, youthfulness, attractiveness, togetherness, and much more.
In other words, using Switchwords puts one on a path to finding happiness and eliminating life’s obstacles and frustrations.The more a Switchword is repeated, the more it affects your energetic system. The more it affects your energy, the more you attract the experience, condition or response the Switchword represents to you.
How to use Switchwords?
All you need to do is simply say, declare, chant, sing, proclaim, or even just think the Switchword.But you have to make sure to let go of the need, to let go of the attachment towards the end result and allow the experience to come to you.
This analogy can be best explained as the quote on the following image –
https://s10.postimg.org/tkqnjg7p5/Butterfly_Quote.jpg
You can Google up for the ‘Universal List of Switchwords’ by James Mangan and other articles on this topic where people have explored and created their own Switchwords. Similarly you too create your own Switchword or Switchphrase (Switchphrase is a nothing but a combination of Switchwords) which resonates with you the best.
But to assist you in your situation I have formed the below Switchphrase suitable to your situation.FIND DIVINE JOB COUNT NOW DONE
FIND – find a job
DIVINE – find it miraculously; find it through Divine intervention
JOB – what is that you are looking for
COUNT – geting a job is going to give you money
NOW – find it now; find it at the soonest possible
DONE – as if its already done for youJust repeat the above Switchwords (mentioned in bold) as many number of times and as and when possible. Repeating the Switchword (or anything else) is also called as chanting. As an analogy it is said to “Repeat the Switchwords, till the time you become them”. Meaning – until you get it all over you, all over your body’s internal energetic system. That will happen by repeatedly chanting which will raise your energetic vibrations.
How will you know that?
You need to do it till you get what you want or you stop when you come out of your present state of mind of “wanting”, “needing” of a job or when you find internal peace towards your situation which is a state like “It’s fine if I get a job. Even if I don’t get it, that’s fine too!”.Best of Luck my friend!
VJ
Hi neverstoplearning,
“My initial reaction is that trying to approach her with love and forgiveness gets me nowhere – been there, done that. It’s basically what I’ve been trying to do for years – win her approval by killing her with kindness.”
If this is your initial step in approaching towards the situation and if you have done this in other ways, also try this time to do it “energetically”.
To do this, you will want to check out on the two methods I have posted on the below link.
(http://tinybuddha.com/topic/i-can-not-live-normal-anymore-i-can-not-accept-it/#post-113485)Clicking the above link will directly take you to the exact post.
Good Luck!
VJ.
Hi Sue,
“so I should zip up to turn it on?”
Exactly.You won’t have much of any doubts when you go through the links and the videos. But if you still have any please feel free to write back.
“I will read and watch all of it – lucky for me it’s a 3-day weekend”
Use the long weekend to also DO the technique along with reading and watching 🙂Warm Regards,
VJ.Dear Sue,
“in life event celebrations (and deaths) there are times we all must get together.
There are some happy events coming up in the family
I should just put up my wall to protect my heart and head when I’m going to be around her
…If only it were that easy…”“to completely avoid her would also mean not seeing my nieces, nephews, their children, etc”
What have these people done to you……especially the kids? And how many more such people are going to be avoided? You are blocking the flow of energy in the Universe that are coming from people (other than your sister) which may be coming to you in the form of love, peace happiness, joy, caring and sharing. You may now not need to restrict this flow and open up yourself to the love, beauty and grace of the Divine at least that may be coming to you from these “other than your sister” people.Here is a simple and practical energy healing technique based on your title of the post “negative energy” and if you understand ‘Energy is all there is’…
When you are feeling vulnerable, the central meridian, one of the two energy pathways that govern your central nervous system, can be like a radio receiver that channels other people’s negative thoughts and energies into you. If the central meridian is off, you are open and exposed. The central meridian runs like a zipper from your pubic bone up to your bottom lip. You can use the energies of your hands to “zip it up”. Pulling your hands up the central meridian draws energy along the meridian line.
If you feel like you need more protection from a toxic environment or toxic people, Donna Eden’s Zip Up Technique is for you!
The Zip Up technique will help you to:
– feel more confident and positive about yourself
– think more clearly
– protect yourself from negative energies that may be around you (energy vampires)You will begin to feel more centered, in control and in your own power. Zipping up helps you to be present with another person in a conflictual situation with lowest chances of other’s negative attitude dragging down your energies. This process has enabled people to speak up with their boss, a difficult parent, an angry child, or an ex-lover and stay centered in their own truth and self-validation.
Here is a visual image and a textual list of steps on how to do it. (Please go through the entire text)
http://www.tapintoheaven.com/2stuff/stufprotec.shtmlHere is a video straight from Donna Eden explaining about the process.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zefjc9kYPRE
(What Donna did before and after the Zip up technique was the energy testing of the candidate. You can skip that part and just do only the actual technique portion)Here are other links if you want to have more clarity on how to do the actual process. I recommend you to go through these.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-it0QZr79U)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lq1Dfh-qgrA)Do the technique along with the breathing and affirmation explained in the above textual link.
Do as many times as you want and as and when you want. You can start doing it from today itself and especially you may want to do it when your event is coming up and on that day too. Starting this now and doing the technique well before the event is itself going to help a lot. Also when you feel you want to do this in a social situation and cannot do it in front of others you can simply visualize doing the actual procedure of the technique or casually look using your eyes from the pubic bone to the lip along with the affirmation mentally.Take good care of yourself.
VJ.
Dear bamitscassidy,
“My new relationship is very exciting and I REALLY like him.”
I do not think anybody in life does not desire for such a wonderful thing. To love and to be loved.Speaking of the current situation and your question about looking for some thoughts and wisdom:
Many people know from their own experience how easily and quickly an intimate relationship can turn from a source of pleasure to a source of pain.
You will find on this site itself that there are different kinds of relationships and their different issues where the Forum and their posts say –
“Need an advice on break up”
“Feeling stuck in a relationship”
“my partner is an awesome person and deeply loves and cares for me. But I want to be single because I feel like I want more time to figure out myself as a person before settling down.
“Long relationship on the brink of an end”
“I’m giving everything in my relationship but not getting the same back”
“On the verge of getting divorced after 15+ years of marriage”Even if one goes ahead in their relationship to their next level (affair-marriage-kids), there could be possibilities of a relationship turning sour later.
I know, in your situation you may not go to a next level as you are saying that you guys may part ways after his last year in the US. But the point to be said here is that even if this relationship continues by any chance (if you may go to France or he stays in the US or something else joins both of you again), it is not necessary that a relationship will work out till the end (as you see above from other people). It is not necessary that you may not go in pain or not get hurt in the future with this relationship.These are not to get demotivated about but to have a deep awareness about the realities of life.
You may ask – “So then does it mean that I go ahead with this relationship because anyways there are chances that I may get hurt in future even if it is working fine now?”
Or – “does it mean that I do not go ahead and save myself from the pain and hurt that may come later?”
Read on to know more….The moment any judgement or fear of the future (in your case) stops through the acceptance of “what is”, you are free of the mind. You have made room for love, joy, peace and bliss. A Love that is not dependent on this “other” person.
One may then either separate – in love.
In that case one may still feel the love due to the deep acceptance of the situation and also because it is now no longer dependent. The love that you may feel at that time is not necessarily directed towards this person, but just the feeling of Love itself.Or, in another case, if the relation goes on further ahead then you may continue to express pure love.
In either case love is all there with you and there is no pain or fear (the pain/fear that you are worried about right now).
You mentioned you are “afraid of getting hurt (since its happened before) that part of me thinks ending it now will lessen the pain in the future”
Why not use this relationship as an opportunity to work on this aspect – to dissolve pain, hurt and suffering irrespective of the situation – so that you can be free irrelevant of whatever happens in your life be it a relationship (or work issues or anything else) once you gain an understanding that love is not something outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you and that it is not dependent on some other body or external form.
Your feeling of the fear of getting hurt is fine and can be helpful, but is not essential. What is essential is you being in the present – to consciously be in presence. That dissolves the past anxiety as well as the future worries.
Do not seek to understand the past or the future, but be as present as you can. The past or the future cannot survive in your presence. It can only survive in your absence.
Of course there is nothing wrong in planning for the future. It can well be that planning is the one thing you can do in your present moment. But there is a vast difference between planning the future and worrying about the future.
“Worrying is like creating a mental script of the outcome even before it has happened and then using that script to scare ourselves”
If this relationship was an abusive or a not so favourable one then there was something to be gotten rid of.
Why not use this relationship as a transformation for your fear of getting hurt?
You can do so by reading ‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle.
Read it from the beginning but especially…
CHAPTER EIGHT: Enlightened Relationships
Love/Hate Relationships
From Addictive to Enlightened Relationships
Relationships as Spiritual Practice
Chapter TEN:
Surrender in Personal RelationshipsWhat is making you think that it is not going to last? Why does it seem uncertain?
Attention is a major transformation factor and full attention also implies acceptance.
Full attention means not judging about the future as to what may or may not happen. But that does not mean being carefree about the future and get into unwanted things now. It means – giving up trying to understand and becoming comfortable with not knowing. It does not mean resignation – but acceptance without judgment.Who else other than Eckhart Tolle can teach us to go into deep presence, who mentions –
“Accept – then act.
Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.”Be noted, the wordings “present moment” does not apply only to the current situation of your relationship, but also to anything that may arise later (which will be your present moment at that time) which may or may not be favourable. Whatever it is – you will accept it as if you had chosen it. You will work with it and not against it.
It is you and only you who could make a decision about the relationship. Here is a great guideline from Eckhart Tolle that will be of help in whatever decision you take-
“Wherever you are, be there totally.
If you find “here and now” intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options:
i. remove yourself from the situation [VJ: see if you can/want to do this]
ii. change it [VJ: see if there is something you can do to bring about a change in your situation]
iii. accept it totally [VJ: what remains is the 3rd option]If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now.
Then accept the consequences. No excuses. No negativity. No psychic pollution. Keep your inner space clear. Do not pollute your beautiful, radiant inner Being nor the Earth with negativity. Do not give unhappiness in any form whatsoever a dwelling place inside you.If there is truly nothing that you can do to change your here and now, and you can’t remove yourself from the situation, then accept your here and now totally by dropping all inner resistance. The false, unhappy self that loves feeling miserable, resentful, or sorry for itself can then no longer survive. This is called surrender. Through surrender, you will be free internally of the situation.”
Take care,
VJDear Tracey,
“trying very hard to overcome a lot of negative programming and manipulation from my past and also overcome a lot of tragic events that no woman wants to go through”
“diagnosed with Hemiplegic Migraines, I have discs in my neck that are crushing the nerves to my arms and also bone spurs, Permanent Anaemia due to a bleeding bowel and mouth….Tinnitus, Raynauds and Fibromyalgia(which i don’t believe in)”
“eyes have stopped lubricating and my nose is permanently blocked”
Also there are lots of suppressed emotions from what you have mentioned.
While you carry on with your conversations on this thread with members of the site, for all the above mentioned issues I may want to suggest you to take a look at something called as ‘The Healing Codes’.
The Healing Codes is a simple self-healing system that is used to activate something which is already in-built in our body – our immune system – whose job when activated is to heal whatever is wrong in the body. Since you have multiple health conditions I think it would help you by your immune system doing its job without you having to worry about each and every disease in the body. Moreover, it also works on the memories and programming that you mentioned as coming from the past.
I have purchased it from here and everything that is required is explained in the below book-
https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Code-Minutes-Success-Relationship/dp/B004MWT4B8
Also do take a look at the number of positive reviews.The official site for it is at -> www(dot)thehealingcodes(dot)com
The book has everything you need but of course if you do not want to wait till you finish the book and have the required financial capabilities then you can also consider Personal Coaching on this process, which is done by a Certified Healing Codes Practitioner. You will get all of that information from their official website.Oh well! I just see your name and recollected that Dr. Alex Loyd (author of this book and the one who) developed this technique after his wife Tracey Loyd had severe depression for several years and couldn’t find anything to cure it. 🙂
https://youtu(DOT)be/JFL6I3WlmWs – remove (DOT) from this text to watch the video.Take care,
VJHi laruf,
“struggling both with on-and-off anxiety”
“more intense anxiety stemming from violent intrusive thoughts”“I’ve looked around quite a bit, and found some different recommendations for how to handle everything, but sometimes it still seems a lot heavier than something I can handle”
Can you tell what you have looked at so nobody suggests you a same advice.
“violent intrusive thoughts….doing horrible and repulsive things to people I know and love, my pets, strangers”
“intentionally trying to think up the worst things that I could do to someone, or the most terrible outcomes of a situation”If comfortable can you elaborate these things that keep coming to your mind.
Thanks
VJ.Hi ivy,
You mentioned that you are trying to meditate and having difficulty doing that. Right now, with all your challenges and uncertainties, your state of mind is such that it won’t be able to relax when you try to force it to do something.
The relaxation should happen naturally by itself. At least you can breathe to achieve that naturally…
“Any advice about how to deal with the symptoms of anxiety, especially the physically overwhelming panic feelings, would be so welcome”
Please do either one or both of these simple yet effective breathing techniques-
Both the below breathing techniques can be used if you are not able to sleep, feeling stressed, struggling with panic attacks, having difficulty concentrating or focusing, feeling agitated or anxious or frustrated, fear of something, suffering from already existing anxiety, want to take your mind off of your immediate concerns. These enhance rest and relaxation, encourage a calmer emotional state, center the mind, restore imbalances in the brain, boost your thinking, pacify your nervous system and have several other mental-emotional benefits.Along with deep relaxation from your overwhelming feelings, you will be able to have clarity of mind and be able to make a decision about the situation you are going through.
1) The 7-11 breathing technique:
http://blog.humangivens.com/2012/10/how-does-deep-breathing-make-you-feel.html?m=1
Please go through the article at first and then read below…
If you find it inconvenient to count to 11 or 7, then reduce the count to breathe for 3 and 5, or any other number that suits exactly as per your comfort level. Just make sure that the out-breath is longer than the in-breath by a few numbers. In my case, for this to work, I had to increase the count to 11 and 15 because I tend to take long deep breaths.2) Alternate Nostril Breathing:
Alternate Nostril Breathing also known as Nadi Shodhana, is a powerful breathing practice with extensive reaching benefits. Nadi is a Sanskrit word meaning ‘channel’ or ‘flow’ which is the subtle energy channel and Shodhana means ‘purification.’ This simple yet powerful technique settles the mind, body, and emotions. You can use it to quiet your mind and it is particularly helpful to slow down racing thoughts if you are experiencing anxiety, stress, or having trouble falling asleep. It’s a wonderful breathing technique that helps keep the mind calm, enables to be happy, peaceful and cheerful by practicing it just for a few minutes. It also helps release accumulated stress, tension and fatigue.
Steps:
Step 1: Use right thumb to close right nostril
Step 2: Inhale slowly through left nostril
Step 3: Pause at the top of the inhale for a second or two as per your comfort level
Step 4: Now close left nostril with ring finger. Release the thumb off the right nostril
Step 5: Exhale through your right nostril
Step 6: Now, inhale through right nostril
Step 7: Pause at the top of the inhale for a second or two as per your comfort level
Step 8: Use thumb to close of right nostril
Step 9: Breathe out through left nostril
Steps 1 to 9 make one round. Continue with the steps for 3 to 5 minutes. You can do this lying down on your bed too.
Make sure to not force the breathing and do not breathe through the mouth. You can skip the pausing of breath if you have blood pressure issues. Close your eyes and allow the relaxation to happen quietly for a few moments after you have finished.Happy Relaxing!
VJ
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
